I'd like to start off by saying that I fully and completely trust my FI and do not think that he would ever cheat on me. We are both very secure in our relationship and do not have trust, esteem, etc. issues whatsoever.
Last weekend was FI and my bach parties. I knew that they would end up going to the strip club..and I was completely fine with it. I had told him how I felt about him getting a lap dance and that it would really bother me. He said that he had no intentions to and if someone bought one, he'd probably just give it to one of his buddies. We didn't go much further into detail about it than that.
So last night, over a week later, strippers got brought up. He had told me when he got back that they had stopped at the strip club briefly and that was it. I had just ASSUMED that nothing happened. So last night when it got brought up, I asked nonchalantly (thinking he'd say no) "did you get a lap dance?" And he said YES. I thought he was joking and it turns out he definitely was not. I was kind of shocked. I do respect that he was honest with me! I was pretty upset and he kept saying it wasn't a big deal and "the strippers there don't even get naked". haha. He told me if he would have known that I cared that much he wouldn't have done it and I should have come right out and said it (even though I did make it very clear that I wouldn't like it).
I understand that I need to get over it and move on. But I still feel shitty about it. I get that strippers are "paid professionals" and a lap dance doesn't mean anything, however I feel so disrespected! The only woman that a man that's engaged to be married should be seeing naked (besides TV) and let alone GRINDING on his JUNK should be his BRIDE. It just makes me sick to my stomach to think about. I am very confident with my looks and my body, so I am not jealous that he liked her more than me or anything.
I'm not second guessing my future with FI or anything crazy, but I can't help but think a little less of him. I know he loves me so much and it wasn't his intent to hurt me.
Has anyone else gone through this? How long did it take to move on from it? I'm so scared I'm going to resent him for a long time over this.. It is shitty because this is the first time I've felt this way toward him. He's been so good to me! I just don't think I feel this way for no reason.
Thanks in advance for your support.