To toast or not to toast?

MsNise812

Hi ladies,

I would appreciate your thoughts on this. We are thinking about not having any toasts done at the reception (except for maybe his parents saying a few things since they have been a huge part in this process and of course us thanking everyone). I honestly just want to get straight into the partying and enjoy all that we have worked for. We are doing the mother/son, father/daughter dances but are skipping the bouquet/garter toss. We may even do a first look to save on time as we want to be able to enjoy our cocktail hour as well, but hubby is still debating as he wants to see me walking down the aisle the first time. What are your thoughts on having toasts or skipping them? Are there other things that you skipped on and if so, was there any regret afterwards? Thanks guys!

AddieCake

Toasts should only happen if someone offers to do one. If nobody offers, then there won't be any anyway. If someone does and you are not interested, just tell them you would prefer there be no toasts. The only toast we had was from my dad, who thanked everyone for coming. It took like 30 seconds. 

A lot of people skip the garter and bouquet tosses. We did b/c we find them awkward and dislike them. 

Nobody will miss anything you decide to cut out. 

emmyg65

We skipped toasts. My BIL spontaneously stood up and said a few words. Basically, "Congrats to the happy couple! Cheers!!" And my newly minted husband and I stood up to say thank you. That's it. It was fine. We also skipped the bouquet/garter toss and all spotlight dances except the first dance. No regrets!

Maggie0829

For our wedding H and skipped the toasts and the tosses.  We also didn't make the cake cutting a big deal either.  We didn't announce we were doing it, just grabbed the photographer and told her we were getting ready to cut the cake.

We did do the first, mother/son and father/daughter dance as soon as we were introduced into the reception so that after dinner the party could start and wouldn't be interrupted by any other spotlight stuff.

Guests typically just want to have fun at your wedding and many guests find the spotlight stuff to be kind of boring.  That stuff is primarily for the bride and groom anyways.

MsNise812

Thanks ladies! I agree with you. I would want to get the party started as soon as possible and have our guests enjoy the rest of the night.

izza2

We're skipping toasts and just going with a nice little "thank you for coming" speech that FI will be handling.

[Deleted User]

We did the MOH & BM toasts but skipped parents toasts due to their requests. We did a combined mother/son & father/daughter dance because my husband didn't want all the attention to be focused on him for a whole song. We skip garter/bouquet toss partically due to our age & the number (or lack of) single men & women that were invited. We did add an anniversary dance which was fun.

Vivandiere8

I agree that some times the toasting part of the evening can get out of hand. At my sister's wedding they opened up the mike for anyone who wanted to make a toast, preplanned or not, and it went on so long I think my sister had to make a cut off motion at the DJ. The toasts were nice to hear but.. it got kind of ridiculous with the amount of people who spontaneously wanted to get up and say something (they were right out of college and had a ton of mutual college friends there who all seemed to want to say something) What we did at my wedding was let the MOH and BM do a toast, then had the mike quickly handed over to DH and I to give a quick thank you to our guests, and then went right onto other things. We did the bouquet toss near the very end of the evening, no garter toss because we both don't like it. Whatever people do I think it's always better to err on the side of moving the evening along rather than holding people captive. For example a bouquet toss can be quick... Or it can take forever wile the DJ plays a long song to get the single girls up, spends a lot of time trying to drag and shame people into going up there who don't want to, move everyone around to position them, take pictures of the whole processes.... not fun for anyone involved. (for some reasons the paragraphs are not working for me)

MsNise812

I agree @vivandiere8!

I think we most likley will just have his parents say something as they stated they would want to. My parents said they are "too shy" to speak in front of people . And then my FI and I would also say a quick thank you. I know our MOH and BM get nervous about making a toast so it won't be pressed if it's something they do not want to do.

We aren't doing the garter or bouquet toss and not going to make a spectacle about the cake cutting. We just want to enjoy the night with our guests and party!  

Fairyjen1

    Just don't pass the Mic around and make everyone say something! I went to the wedding of a cousin of the guy I was dating at the time as his guest. I didn't know a lot of people there, I had never met the bride and groom. 

 

   The wedding was beautiful. Food was fabulous, they actually had an open bar, which is rare in my area. However, they showed a slide show before dinner that went on for about 20 minutes. Then, during dinner instead of doing just a few toasts, hey passed the mic around to every guest to say something to the happy couple. There was at least 150 people at this wedding. Not knowing the bride and groom all I could do when it was my turn was wish them well and thank them for having me as a guest. Too bad everyone didn't do that, many felt they had to tell stories and it went on and on and on. By the time we got through it all it was pretty late and we left before they cut the cake or opened the dance floor. I realize that's kind of rude but I had to be somewhere early the next day. 

  I'm not 100% sure it was the bride and grooms idea, my dates mother said it was something the MOB wanted to do. Everything else about the wedding was etiquette correct. 

jules3964

Fairyjen1 said:

The wedding was beautiful. Food was fabulous, they actually had an open bar, which is rare in my area. However, they showed a slide show before dinner that went on for about 20 minutes. Then, during dinner instead of doing just a few toasts, hey passed the mic around to every guest to say something to the happy couple. There was at least 150 people at this wedding. Not knowing the bride and groom all I could do when it was my turn was wish them well and thank them for having me as a guest. Too bad everyone didn't do that, many felt they had to tell stories and it went on and on and on. By the time we got through it all it was pretty late and we left before they cut the cake or opened the dance floor. I realize that's kind of rude but I had to be somewhere early the next day. 

OMG that sounds awful. I can't imagine being forced to sit and listen to 150 people give speeches. There's just no reason to do that.

MsNise812

Fairyjen1 said:

    Just don't pass the Mic around and make everyone say something! I went to the wedding of a cousin of the guy I was dating at the time as his guest. I didn't know a lot of people there, I had never met the bride and groom. 

 

   The wedding was beautiful. Food was fabulous, they actually had an open bar, which is rare in my area. However, they showed a slide show before dinner that went on for about 20 minutes. Then, during dinner instead of doing just a few toasts, hey passed the mic around to every guest to say something to the happy couple. There was at least 150 people at this wedding. Not knowing the bride and groom all I could do when it was my turn was wish them well and thank them for having me as a guest. Too bad everyone didn't do that, many felt they had to tell stories and it went on and on and on. By the time we got through it all it was pretty late and we left before they cut the cake or opened the dance floor. I realize that's kind of rude but I had to be somewhere early the next day. 

  I'm not 100% sure it was the bride and grooms idea, my dates mother said it was something the MOB wanted to do. Everything else about the wedding was etiquette correct. 

Yikes!! Yea definitely not doing that lol.