bridesmaid out

megxox

Ok... my name is Meg..i am the bride... i am having serious trouble with one of my girls, claire... we have known eachother for two years.. she is all drama. And ive never had an issue, thats who she is. But she decided to move across country five months before the wedding, for no reason by the way, just up and left. That isnt the issue either, im not going to tell her what to do with her life. Nor am i incharge of it. But, the past three weeks or so i have been getting nothing but complaints. From claire, saying she isnt involved in the wedding and how she thinks everyone hates her, and from the other girls, along with my future mother in law saying what an attitude claire has. I let them work it over, i dont want to be involved. But then claire texts me being completely rude, insulting my work ethic (which is good i work 3 jobs while going to school), and telling me i need to get over myself. Now, i am very laid back. I do not consider my self a bridezilla at all. Claire has completely pissed me off and after several other things were said, i dont even want to look at her. How do i politely remove her from the party? I realize it will be burning a bridge and thats ok with me. I also dont want to have to worry about how claire is doing through the whole thing, if shes being included, and i dont want tostress about if she will even be able to make it back in time for the wedding. I know money is tough so dont bring that up, bc i get it. I just dont want to even look at her...and i dont want to feel any sort of bad on my wedding day. I will offer to pay for her dress but i need a nice way of letting her go.bc i am done.

Jen4948

Change your screen name so it's not your real name.

Whatever has gone on between you and Claire, if you remove her from the wedding party, it is a friendship-ending move.  If you don't want her as a friend anymore, then go ahead and tell her, "Claire, you are not in my wedding party anymore."  Otherwise, I'm afraid you need to leave it alone.

AddieCake

If you truly don't care about ending the friendship, then just be direct, as Jen suggested.

megxox

I just feel like such awful things were said that i wouldnt want someone like that to be standing next to me on such a special day

Jen, good call on name change!

Viczaesar

If you want to end the friendship, just tell her that you don't want to be friends any longer.  Her involvement in your wedding will end as a result.  You need to pay her back for any wedding-related costs she's paid, though.

Viczaesar

megxox said:

Ok... my name is Meg..i am the bride... i am having serious trouble with one of my girls, claire... we have known eachother for two years.. she is all drama. And ive never had an issue, thats who she is. But she decided to move across country five months before the wedding, for no reason by the way, just up and left. That isnt the issue either, im not going to tell her what to do with her life. Nor am i incharge of it. But, the past three weeks or so i have been getting nothing but complaints. From claire, saying she isnt involved in the wedding and how she thinks everyone hates her, and from the other girls, along with my future mother in law saying what an attitude claire has. I let them work it over, i dont want to be involved. But then claire texts me being completely rude, insulting my work ethic (which is good i work 3 jobs while going to school), and telling me i need to get over myself. Now, i am very laid back. I do not consider my self a bridezilla at all. Claire has completely pissed me off and after several other things were said, i dont even want to look at her. How do i politely remove her from the party? I realize it will be burning a bridge and thats ok with me. I also dont want to have to worry about how claire is doing through the whole thing, if shes being included, and i dont want tostress about if she will even be able to make it back in time for the wedding. I know money is tough so dont bring that up, bc i get it. I just dont want to even look at her...and i dont want to feel any sort of bad on my wedding day. I will offer to pay for her dress but i need a nice way of letting her go.bc i am done.

offensivekitten2

Eh, if you don't care about the friendship, then don't bother trying to sugarcoat it. Just say "Claire, after the hateful things you said, I am not interested in maintaining this friendship. " Then block her # or something, because she sounds lile the type to go Mt Saint Hellens over it.

megxox

I did it ladies! I was very polite and she suprisingly (so far) handled it very well ! And i am paying her back for the dress! Thanks ladies!

slothiegal

Glad it went well!  Must feel like a huge weight off your shoulders  

tammym1001

megxox said:

I did it ladies! I was very polite and she suprisingly (so far) handled it very well ! And i am paying her back for the dress! Thanks ladies!

It sucks that you ended your friendship, but kudos to you for offering to reimburse her for the dress.

Nymeru

Did you actually end the friendship, or just her bridal party participation?

KatWAG

Nymeru said:

Did you actually end the friendship, or just her bridal party participation?

Its pretty much one in the same.

lilacck28

Yeah, it might now be a fade out friendship/ a slow death, but it will surely die. 

In the 8th grade my best friend/ basically next door neighbor kicked me out of the dance that I had entered us in for a talent show (I missed a rehearsal because of a headache). I was mega pissed and really incredibly hurt. I took back my chairs that they were using for the dance. We tried making up a few weeks later and being friends for the rest of the year, and then I didn't call her and she didn't call me. I was really bitter for a VERY long time. 

I think getting kicked out of a wedding party as an adult is possibly even harder to come back from. 

KwajKenDean

You did an incredibly hard thing, but I was put somewhat in a position like that when my FI first asked me to marry him. I had a friend who thought she was in my wedding, I never asked her, but she kept referring to herself as my matron of honor and telling me what I needed to wear, what my colors should be, and went as far to even tell me that my FI and I should rethink and maybe talk to our pastor about getting married. At that point I told her that I haven't even decided on my WP but she wouldn't be part of it. She stopped talking to me and then about 6 months later I got a rogue text from a Pinger number that said, "I just wanted to TOO let you know, you will NOT marry xxx." It was sent 3xs. I figured it was her, but didn't confront her on it because I don't have time for childishness. So about 3 weeks ago I get an email from her saying that she doesn't know what she did to get kicked out of my WP and she didn't realize it meant the end of our friendship... I guess she was extending the olive branch. I took this as the opportunity to ask her about the text and guess what? I haven't  heard from  her since... So I guess I kicked someone, but it's odd because she was never in. Some people get crazy when it comes to weddings

Nymeru

Seriously?  How did she even get the idea that she was the MOH?  That's crazy!  Sounds like you got rid of friend that you're much better off without.  Who needs that sort of drama?  It's so...middle school.

KwajKenDean

Nymeru said:

Seriously?  How did she even get the idea that she was the MOH?  That's crazy!  Sounds like you got rid of friend that you're much better off without.  Who needs that sort of drama?  It's so...middle school.

It's very crazy. She would always say that her mother ran her wedding so she couldn't do anything she wanted. She didn't even wear a white dress so I think everything she was doing to me was her projecting her mother. The sad part is we were "friends" for almost 10 years. I guess that made her feel entitled, not realizing that I had friendships from college and grad school that were much more significant to me (those were very difficult years for me), and not to mention I have a sister...duh she would be my MOH. But yeah, she showed her true colors. While I miss talking to her everyday, but I had to do what I needed to do. I don't need the drama so the peace has been good.