Your 3-5 biggest "what not to do"s

MollyandD

emmaaa said:

CMGragain said:

1.  Huge wedding parties.  Are you trying to prove how many friends you have?

2.  Small children used for cuteness factor. 

3. Tuxedos in the daytime.  Ick!  Ugh!  Yuck!  Tuxedos are BLACK tie, not pink, powder blue, red, green, orange, lavender tie.

4.  Cowboy boots, flip flops, or sneakers on anybody.

5.  Gaps.

I'm sorry but I don't agree with this. I have 8 BMs. They are all my friends and I couldn't imagine the day without them. I do understand it may seem AWish though..."look at me, I have sooo many friends."

Same. I have 6 bridesmaids. Three family members and three very close friends that have supported me so much. I never pretend to have an insane number of friends, but there are a few people I'm very close to. I don't think it's AWish for you to have 8 girls. I may think it would be tough buying that many gifts, but I managed to do it by buying two every few months until I was done. 

kns1988

1. Posting everything on social media. From *one* speshul facebook friend in the past week, I see a picture of her marriage license, a reminder to book hotel rooms, pictures of her RSVP cards rolling in, and a "1 month until I steal his last name" post. Worst offender.

2. The whole idea of rustic as a theme. Actually, the whole idea of themes in general. My theme is "marriage."

3. Cutesy signs. Barf.

MGP

Great topic! Couldn't pick just three though: 

No self hosting any pre wedding parties. If someone doesn't offer - in the words of the great Kurtis Blow - "these are the breaks".

Not inviting significant others. If someone identifies themselves as being in a relationship, their SO gets an invite. If you need to trim your guest list, cut couples, don't split them. It is not your place to judge the seriousness of someone else's relationship, especially when you expect them to come and honor yours. 

Gaps. No one wants to do some dressed up loitering or freshen up at the hotel. They just showered two hours ago for your ceremony. They are fresh enough. 

Open seating. Take ten minutes to make a seating chart. Have you ever been the new kid in school and didn't know where to sit at lunch on the first day? Don't do this to your single, shy, or other introverted guests. 

Purposely scheduling an outdoor ceremony in inevitably bad/uncomfortable weather because you want pretty pictures.  Snowstorm in New Orleans in July? Unexpected. Waterfront ceremony on Lake Michigan in January? Poor planning, not to mention ass freezing. 

Tiered hospitality in any way. Host equally or not at all. 

Along those same lines I hate the "tiny ceremony, big reception" concept. A wedding can be intimate but if you don't like attention don't have a big reception either. You can't have it both ways.  ** exception - venues with religious restrictions like a Mormon temple

Destination weddings - not a fan but I understand why people do them. Destination bachelorettes - despise them. No one needs a week contemplating their upcoming marriage with their girlfriends. No one.

And lastly - please do NOT expect your wedding guests to bond over any activities and become BFF's. If it happens, great but the most you should expect is for them to make small talk over dinner and exchange pleasantries they next time they see each other which will probably be at your baby shower.

Besides marrying the person of your dreams, the goal of your wedding should be to still have friends after it is over. No coincidence that my list is all about treating people right. No one gives two craps about the color of your flowers, they want to feel welcomed and appreciated. 

PrincessOfHavoc

1 - Garter or bouquet tosses.

2 - Cake smashing. Violence and waste of perfectly good cake.

3 - All Pintrest crap. Gag.

4 - Burlap. Really? Isn't it originally a mourning fabric?

5 - Great Gatsby, Game of Thrones or freaking sparkly pedophile vampire themes. Hello, have you actually read anything?

6 - Anything implied that one party doesn't want to get married. Ugh.

7 - Bad hosting. Seriously, don't treat your nearest and dearest like crap and open wallets.

8 - Ugly bridesmaid dresses. Really, those attract more attention not less.

9 - Over exposure. I don't want to be betting on how long before the wardrobe malfunction. In line, badly fitted in the boobs. Go up until your boobs fit, don't squish them into something three sizes too small.

10 - Unity candles/sand/whatever. Not horrible or worth a side eye, but isn't the entire wedding about unity? Seems redundant to me and just extra time.

11 - Using your church to excuse a gap. I'm not Catholic, but attended enough to know you do not have to have a gap.

12 - No program for very involved ceremonies. I'm not whatever, please help me figure out what I need to do.

Man, apparently I hate weddings.....

April192002

*Stupid boxes*

1. Post ceremony pictures that take too long.

1B. Having the buffet open, instead of cocktail hour, for the guests during the long picture time so that by the time we're finished with the photos there isn't time for the bride, groom, or wedding party to eat. Okay, so one of the BMs ate but the rest of the guests already had their plates taken up and I hate eating when no one else is, plus I had to give a toast during the time I would have been eating. *IF you're going to have guests eat during pictures, at least have a table reserved for the wedding party so they can eat together.

2. Having 2 MOHs only because you don't think your first choice will have the time to "perform their duties." Guess which one made it to every function and hosted the bridal shower?!?

3. Burlap and chevrons.

4. Useless or personalized wedding favors. I don't want a candle, picture frame, coaster, etc. with your names, date, or photo on it unless I can eat it. Cookies or M&Ms are perfectly fine by me! Attending solo and getting a single coaster as a wedding favor, personalized or not, no thank you.

6. Super loud music. If I wanted to scream to speak to the person next to me I would go to a concert.

7. Phone only conversations with dates and times. I would like to get a phone call to discuss it but please email or text me as a reminder with the date/time to meet up for dress shopping or invitation addressing because if it's not in a form I can refer back to, and I wasn't in a position where I could write it down, I will probably forget and have to ask a billion times. But that's just me!

Marzipan13

chibiyui said:

1. Honeymoon jars
2. garter tosses (we tossed a companion cube instead, I like the "fun" of the tosses, not the symbolism. and we gave away booze to the winner. The companion cube toss was....exuberant.) 
3. Names/monograms all over the place

4. Cake smashing. Don't waste cake. It's sacred.
5. Awkward sermons. Please don't base a sermon on how love is like slavery, but not bad slavery, good slavery. OR use the story of Jacob and Rachel. And esp. if you use that story, don't bring up how the groom dated the brides younger sister. 

I think I might love you

kerbohl

@PrincessofHavoc That's right, burlap as a mourning fabric!  I did not draw that connection.  Burlap is wasted at weddings.
 And @kns1988, I get the whole anti-theme thing, but goodness, if I hadn't had a theme at my wedding, I would have gone a little crazy.  I'm really into the medieval and I've hosted medieval events over the years, and it was so much easier to approach my wedding as a medieval feast than as the traditional wedding.  I say if a theme gives you more headaches than its worth, scrap the theme, but if it comes naturally and makes planning more enjoyable or even easier, by all means have a theme. 

emmaaa

kerbohl said:

@PrincessofHavoc That's right, burlap as a mourning fabric!  I did not draw that connection.  Burlap is wasted at weddings.
 And @kns1988, I get the whole anti-theme thing, but goodness, if I hadn't had a theme at my wedding, I would have gone a little crazy.  I'm really into the medieval and I've hosted medieval events over the years, and it was so much easier to approach my wedding as a medieval feast than as the traditional wedding.  I say if a theme gives you more headaches than its worth, scrap the theme, but if it comes naturally and makes planning more enjoyable or even easier, by all means have a theme. 

@kerbohl I think themes are fine if they actually fit the couple. However, a couple from the city who have never seen a cow poop should not have a "rustic" wedding, IMO. It just doesn't make sense to me. But if a couple is really into medieval events, then that works because it fits them.

theartistformerlyknownas

emmaaa said:

kerbohl said:

@PrincessofHavoc That's right, burlap as a mourning fabric!  I did not draw that connection.  Burlap is wasted at weddings.
 And @kns1988, I get the whole anti-theme thing, but goodness, if I hadn't had a theme at my wedding, I would have gone a little crazy.  I'm really into the medieval and I've hosted medieval events over the years, and it was so much easier to approach my wedding as a medieval feast than as the traditional wedding.  I say if a theme gives you more headaches than its worth, scrap the theme, but if it comes naturally and makes planning more enjoyable or even easier, by all means have a theme. 

@kerbohl I think themes are fine if they actually fit the couple. However, a couple from the city who have never seen a cow poop should not have a "rustic" wedding, IMO. It just doesn't make sense to me. But if a couple is really into medieval events, then that works because it fits them.

Amen, sister.

chibiyui

Marzipan13 said:

chibiyui said:

1. Honeymoon jars
2. garter tosses (we tossed a companion cube instead, I like the "fun" of the tosses, not the symbolism. and we gave away booze to the winner. The companion cube toss was....exuberant.) 
3. Names/monograms all over the place

4. Cake smashing. Don't waste cake. It's sacred.
5. Awkward sermons. Please don't base a sermon on how love is like slavery, but not bad slavery, good slavery. OR use the story of Jacob and Rachel. And esp. if you use that story, don't bring up how the groom dated the brides younger sister. 

I think I might love you

Ha. H joked about at the end of the night walking up to the winner with a trash can saying. "You know what happens next"

He didn't go through with it.

lizzypoo96

loving all of these but a few in particular:

1. Having your names/date plastered over everything (esp favors). Unless you're my mom, no one wants to save that crap. Save the money and buy me a cookie or something.

2. Using your BP as some sort of photo props- this includes even numbers of men and women in BP, getting super matchy-matchy, and making them wear crap that says "bridesmaid" or anything. Hey thanks for the shirt- I'll probably never wear it again.

3. Cake smash: I will have put a lot of time and money into my makeup. Don't mess it up. Plus I don't find it funny- just disrespectful. 

4. I enjoy themes and have seen some pretty "rustic" things, but if I'm not having a rustic wedding because there is nothing country about me. I also love the "Gatsby" themed things by people who  know nothing about the actual book...

ladybird29

1. Improperly hosted 200+ person weddings. Cut the guest list and do it right or don't do it at all.
2. I know I'm in the minority here, but not extending plus ones to every adult screams rude to me. I didn't even know this was a thing (or allowed per etiquette) until I started planning my own wedding. If you want to bring your friend, partner, boss, carpool buddy, mom, someone you met on a dating site yesterday, by all means...I would never think to invite an adult and tell them they have to come to something and dance and eat by themselves...and to those that say, 'I'm not paying for a stranger...," I argue that you want your guest to be comfortable and if bringing their yoga instructor makes them happy, they should be able to do it.
3. Stupid tacky favors with the couple's face or names on them. Unless they're edible, they're a waste of money. YES! That's exactly what I want - a coaster with your faces on them! I mean, there's no way I would display something like that but I've gotten them at weddings before. ??
4. Worse than the garter toss - that awkward thing where the guy who catches the garter has to put it on the girl that caught the bouquet...so uncomfortable!

MGP

emmaaa said:

kerbohl said:

@PrincessofHavoc That's right, burlap as a mourning fabric!  I did not draw that connection.  Burlap is wasted at weddings.
 And @kns1988, I get the whole anti-theme thing, but goodness, if I hadn't had a theme at my wedding, I would have gone a little crazy.  I'm really into the medieval and I've hosted medieval events over the years, and it was so much easier to approach my wedding as a medieval feast than as the traditional wedding.  I say if a theme gives you more headaches than its worth, scrap the theme, but if it comes naturally and makes planning more enjoyable or even easier, by all means have a theme. 

@kerbohl I think themes are fine if they actually fit the couple. However, a couple from the city who have never seen a cow poop should not have a "rustic" wedding, IMO. It just doesn't make sense to me. But if a couple is really into medieval events, then that works because it fits them.

This 1000%!  To me, if the theme isn't part of your lifestyle or everyday aesthetic it ends up looking so contrived.  They can make for beautiful pictures but I still give major side eye. 

Biggest offenders:

rustic/barn

Gatsby/Old Hollywood

hipster/vintage/Mumford-esque - especially when it comes to dressing the wedding party

location based, especially if the couple has never been there - the only places that need to look like Paris or a Tuscan wine villa is the actual Paris or Tuscan wine villa. No one is buying your recreation of it at the Holiday Inn

MGP

ladybird29 said:

1. Improperly hosted 200+ person weddings. Cut the guest list and do it right or don't do it at all.
2. I know I'm in the minority here, but not extending plus ones to every adult screams rude to me. I didn't even know this was a thing (or allowed per etiquette) until I started planning my own wedding. If you want to bring your friend, partner, boss, carpool buddy, mom, someone you met on a dating site yesterday, by all means...I would never think to invite an adult and tell them they have to come to something and dance and eat by themselves...and to those that say, 'I'm not paying for a stranger...," I argue that you want your guest to be comfortable and if bringing their yoga instructor makes them happy, they should be able to do it.
3. Stupid tacky favors with the couple's face or names on them. Unless they're edible, they're a waste of money. YES! That's exactly what I want - a coaster with your faces on them! I mean, there's no way I would display something like that but I've gotten them at weddings before. ??
4. Worse than the garter toss - that awkward thing where the guy who catches the garter has to put it on the girl that caught the bouquet...so uncomfortable!

Yes, yes, yes!

#2 - If someone has the option of going to a wedding by themselves or bringing someone with them, most will choose to bring someone.  What is better - your guest feeling uncomfortable alone or your guest bringing a guest and feeling comfortable?  Pretty much a no brainer to me. And for the people that say "ZOMG we will just DIE if any random strangers are there!" your only way to prevent that is to be a complete dick and only invite the couples where you know both halves. 

Seriously be a good host, budget accordingly, and give people that option.  It's the gracious thing to do, not to mention proactive.  There are too many tales on these boards of people entering relationships after receiving STDates or invites and the asshat hosts didn't plan the funds or space to allow the extra person to come.  

#3 - I have a friend who hired a very famous celebrity wedding planner for her wedding. She said one of his pet peeves was couples wanting to use their picture on invites, favors, etc. and said to her "trust me, NO ONE wants to take home something with your face on it. It's tacky and gross". I laugh because it's so true!

thisismynickname2

Great thread!

This is definitely about personal opinions so I definitely don't intend to offend:

1) Boring venues, and by boring I mean the same venue the 8 other people in your social group already used. Whether that means too many barns, too many banquet halls, or too many whatever places.... Find some place more interesting for your own.  

2) Signs on EVERYTHING.  

3) Too many speeches, especially when they're 5+ minutes with people that hate public speaking. It shows! And your guests are starving! 

4) Overly gushy wedding websites with bios and relationship information about the bridal party. Nobody cares. 

5) Forcing get-togethers. Just because two people are getting married, 200 people don't suddenly need to "get to know one another". Especially the bridal party. I'll never see your cousin again (until your baby shower) so don't make us bond. 

ohannabelle

1: Cake smashing. It's not cute. Not even a little. It's stoopid. It's also not funny, unless funny means "been done 5 bajillion times before and wasn't funny the first time." And yes, it actually does violate a rule of etiquette. You learned it at about age 3. Don't play with your food. Grow up. 

2: choreographed dance/song routines. Vomit.  Sooooo AW-ish. Because you just aren't going to get enough attention being beautiful and gracious and surrounded by people you love. You need to relive your junior high school fantasies of being surrounded by the applauding crowd at the big dance. Please. Grow up.

3:  Any kind of "ball and chain" humor. Includes signs that say "Last chance to run" or "help me" on the bottoms of shoes. Haha. Funny. You don't want to get married, get it? So hilarious. Grow up.

NYCMercedes

B-listing. Friend invited 340 people with a seven week RSVP date. Then they sent another round of invitations. I don't feel very special to know I'm one of your bestest 500.

MGP

Sorry if I am way too into this thread. Thought of a few more:

Toasts or speeches that bring up anything to do with the couple's past relationships. I don't want to know that my BFF's now husband was a man whore in college, especially when it's his BFF telling 200 of their wedding guests.

Toasts or speeches focused on just the bride or groom. I went to a rehearsal dinner once where 10 of the bride's family members stood up and told stories about her as a little girl. Ok we get it she was adorable but I want to hear about the couple. Preferably in under 90 seconds as well.

References to social media during the ceremony. Please give everyone a 20 minute break from hearing the word "Facebook" and focus on the sanctity of the union. 

Forced group accommodations for destination weddings.  Let people stay where they please.  Everyone wants their own toilet.  Everyone. 

Too many activities. This isn't a carnival.  If you are racking your brain how to entertain your guests your wedding is too long or you have a gap.

Instructions or demands on wedding guest attire unless it is true black/white tie or venue mandated. People have no idea WTF rustic chic, cowboy casual, spring dressy, winter cocktail, or any other cutesy term you come up with. 

Last but not least - poems!  How could any of us forget poems directing us to do things that we would have obviously forgot to do such as sit!  Other than ones written by actual published poets used for a reading, no poems. 

lizzypoo96

ohannabelle said:

1: Cake smashing. It's not cute. Not even a little. It's stoopid. It's also not funny, unless funny means "been done 5 bajillion times before and wasn't funny the first time." And yes, it actually does violate a rule of etiquette. You learned it at about age 3. Don't play with your food. Grow up. 

2: choreographed dance/song routines. Vomit.  Sooooo AW-ish. Because you just aren't going to get enough attention being beautiful and gracious and surrounded by people you love. You need to relive your junior high school fantasies of being surrounded by the applauding crowd at the big dance. Please. Grow up.

3:  Any kind of "ball and chain" humor. Includes signs that say "Last chance to run" or "help me" on the bottoms of shoes. Haha. Funny. You don't want to get married, get it? So hilarious. Grow up.

yessss. Also this. If it's that bad, 1- you shouldn't be getting married and 2- now's not the time to joke about how awful your wife is

beethery

MGP said:

#3 - I have a friend who hired a very famous celebrity wedding planner for her wedding. She said one of his pet peeves was couples wanting to use their picture on invites, favors, etc. and said to her "trust me, NO ONE wants to take home something with your face on it. It's tacky and gross". I laugh because it's so true!

I GOTTA KNOW WHO!!!!! Colin Cowie? David Tutera? Kevin Lee? My personal hero: Tony Conway???

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826

ohannabelle said:

1: Cake smashing. It's not cute. Not even a little. It's stoopid. It's also not funny, unless funny means "been done 5 bajillion times before and wasn't funny the first time." And yes, it actually does violate a rule of etiquette. You learned it at about age 3. Don't play with your food. Grow up. 

2: choreographed dance/song routines. Vomit.  Sooooo AW-ish. Because you just aren't going to get enough attention being beautiful and gracious and surrounded by people you love. You need to relive your junior high school fantasies of being surrounded by the applauding crowd at the big dance. Please. Grow up.

3:  Any kind of "ball and chain" humor. Includes signs that say "Last chance to run" or "help me" on the bottoms of shoes. Haha. Funny. You don't want to get married, get it? So hilarious. Grow up.

OMG Yes!  Those cake toppers where the bride is dragging the groom around!  

csuave

1. Ruining the taste of a nice cake with fondant

2. Issuing a wedding guest dress code

3. Hosting beer and wine (with a cash bar for liquor just outside the ballroom door) and then running out of beer 40 minutes into a 5 hour reception

 

hellohkb

1.) I dislike carnival theme, "Great Gatsby" theme (not exactly a story I want my marriage to be like), and of course rustic/burlap/barn/shabby chic weddings. 

I love Art Deco but am so sick of seeing it all over the place. If you have a genuine love for those things, do it!. But don't do it just because it's "in". I have a love and passion for vintage items and antiques, so a friend asked if we were going to have an art deco wedding We're not, we're just adding things we like and the theme will be "getting married".

2.) Garter tosses/very long, rambling speeches/other things that I have to sit through

3.) Any breach of etiquette drives me nuts

Simply Fated

Just taken from weddings I've actually attended...

1. Gaps.

2. garter toss

3. Bar closing down right before dinner. I had nothing to drink with my food. This includes water and sodas. It doesn't make sense to not have anyone serving drinks or replenishing water for dinner. Of all times during the reception? It just seems like Food Service 101, ya know? Wash your hands and make sure the guests have food and drinks.

4. Taking my champagne away immediately following the toast. The couple often pays extra for a champagne toast. Let the guests finish what the couple paid for. Thanks. I tried stopping my waiter, but he was too quick. Was he expecting us to CHUG the champagne? Slow your roll. Give me a chance to finish my glass... and my date's.
Not his fault, venues often force the servers to follow a rigid schedule.

5. Having my napkin folded. I'm so grossed out by that. They JUST had their gloved hands all over the napkin of the person next to me who spit his chicken out into his napkin... now they're going to have their nasty gloves all up on mine? Nope.

RebeccaFlower

1) Matchy matchy bridesmaids dresses. I always assume bride is bat shit crazy if they are matching. I, personally, hate regular bridesmaids dress stores like David's- gag. 

2) Poorly planned ceremonies with weather. No, I don't want to sit outside in August with no tent for 45  + minutes. Mostly because H will be complaining. 

3) Cocktail hours that drag on forever. I get you want 1,000 photos of yourself, but keep it moving! We didn't take any pictures together before the ceremony but we still got to the reception within an hour of finishing the ceremony. 

4) Telling people not to take pictures. People take pictures because they are excited! I get that people put too much on social media, but it's 2014 and having a cell phone in the back of your pictures won't ruin them for gods sake. 

hikebikebemerry

1) Not taking cost and convenience of hotel accommodations into consideration with choosing your venue.  Having a wedding during peak season in a  popular tourist destination- please check to see if there is a room for under $250.

2) Inside joke toasts and speeches or where the speech is just about one person.  This doesn't make sense to me, you are toasting the couple, not just your BFF.

3) As much as signs are unnecessary for EVERYTHING, please clearly mark where the festivities are taking place so I don't wander around like a fool.

ashleyep

MGP said:

ladybird29 said:

1. Improperly hosted 200+ person weddings. Cut the guest list and do it right or don't do it at all.
2. I know I'm in the minority here, but not extending plus ones to every adult screams rude to me. I didn't even know this was a thing (or allowed per etiquette) until I started planning my own wedding. If you want to bring your friend, partner, boss, carpool buddy, mom, someone you met on a dating site yesterday, by all means...I would never think to invite an adult and tell them they have to come to something and dance and eat by themselves...and to those that say, 'I'm not paying for a stranger...," I argue that you want your guest to be comfortable and if bringing their yoga instructor makes them happy, they should be able to do it.
3. Stupid tacky favors with the couple's face or names on them. Unless they're edible, they're a waste of money. YES! That's exactly what I want - a coaster with your faces on them! I mean, there's no way I would display something like that but I've gotten them at weddings before. ??
4. Worse than the garter toss - that awkward thing where the guy who catches the garter has to put it on the girl that caught the bouquet...so uncomfortable!

Yes, yes, yes!

#2 - If someone has the option of going to a wedding by themselves or bringing someone with them, most will choose to bring someone.  What is better - your guest feeling uncomfortable alone or your guest bringing a guest and feeling comfortable?  Pretty much a no brainer to me. And for the people that say "ZOMG we will just DIE if any random strangers are there!" your only way to prevent that is to be a complete dick and only invite the couples where you know both halves. 

Seriously be a good host, budget accordingly, and give people that option.  It's the gracious thing to do, not to mention proactive.  There are too many tales on these boards of people entering relationships after receiving STDates or invites and the asshat hosts didn't plan the funds or space to allow the extra person to come.  

#3 - I have a friend who hired a very famous celebrity wedding planner for her wedding. She said one of his pet peeves was couples wanting to use their picture on invites, favors, etc. and said to her "trust me, NO ONE wants to take home something with your face on it. It's tacky and gross". I laugh because it's so true!

The bolded actually hasn't been true in our case. We invited almost all of our single friends with dates (with the exception of my friends from my sports team that I play on - they all know each other). We haven't gotten back a single response with an "and guest" yet. Over 10 people have declined to bring a random date thus far.

I think you can find a good compromise with the rule. Your single friends who don't know many people - sure. I went to a friend's wedding from high school and thank god FI came with me because I hardly knew anyone there. But my cousin is waiting to respond to see if he can find a date. Which just seems silly to me - our family is all super close, I would never want to entertain a random friend at a family wedding. Our family gets really clique-y and there's plenty of other single cousins for you to hang out with. Obviously it's his choice and I gave him the option, it just seems silly to me in that case.

kat1114

ladybird29 said:

1. Improperly hosted 200+ person weddings. Cut the guest list and do it right or don't do it at all.
2. I know I'm in the minority here, but not extending plus ones to every adult screams rude to me. I didn't even know this was a thing (or allowed per etiquette) until I started planning my own wedding. If you want to bring your friend, partner, boss, carpool buddy, mom, someone you met on a dating site yesterday, by all means...I would never think to invite an adult and tell them they have to come to something and dance and eat by themselves...and to those that say, 'I'm not paying for a stranger...," I argue that you want your guest to be comfortable and if bringing their yoga instructor makes them happy, they should be able to do it.
3. Stupid tacky favors with the couple's face or names on them. Unless they're edible, they're a waste of money. YES! That's exactly what I want - a coaster with your faces on them! I mean, there's no way I would display something like that but I've gotten them at weddings before. ??
4. Worse than the garter toss - that awkward thing where the guy who catches the garter has to put it on the girl that caught the bouquet...so uncomfortable!

THIS. I went to a wedding last year and caught the bouquet (which was embarrassing enough since it was me, one other adult, and several children), and then after the garter toss, they asked me to sit in a chair on the dance floor. I had no idea what was going on, when some drunk bald guy, who I had never met, comes over and tries to put the garter on me. It was so ridiculously uncomfortable, and if I hadn't been slightly (very) tipsy, it would have been so much worse. FI was also not pleased.

luckysnorkel

kat1114 said:

ladybird29 said:

1. Improperly hosted 200+ person weddings. Cut the guest list and do it right or don't do it at all.
2. I know I'm in the minority here, but not extending plus ones to every adult screams rude to me. I didn't even know this was a thing (or allowed per etiquette) until I started planning my own wedding. If you want to bring your friend, partner, boss, carpool buddy, mom, someone you met on a dating site yesterday, by all means...I would never think to invite an adult and tell them they have to come to something and dance and eat by themselves...and to those that say, 'I'm not paying for a stranger...," I argue that you want your guest to be comfortable and if bringing their yoga instructor makes them happy, they should be able to do it.
3. Stupid tacky favors with the couple's face or names on them. Unless they're edible, they're a waste of money. YES! That's exactly what I want - a coaster with your faces on them! I mean, there's no way I would display something like that but I've gotten them at weddings before. ??
4. Worse than the garter toss - that awkward thing where the guy who catches the garter has to put it on the girl that caught the bouquet...so uncomfortable!

THIS. I went to a wedding last year and caught the bouquet (which was embarrassing enough since it was me, one other adult, and several children), and then after the garter toss, they asked me to sit in a chair on the dance floor. I had no idea what was going on, when some drunk bald guy, who I had never met, comes over and tries to put the garter on me. It was so ridiculously uncomfortable, and if I hadn't been slightly (very) tipsy, it would have been so much worse. FI was also not pleased.

I've thankfully never been to a wedding where they did this.  I actually didn't even know it was a thing until I started planning!  Adds an extra layer of "ick" to an already very uncomfortable tradition.

kat1114

@luckysnorkel I didn't know it was a thing either until it happened! I told my mom the next day, and she said she had seen it a few weddings, but the weddings she had seen it at were tacky trashy affairs to begin with. I guess I should have expected as much when this particular wedding had a cash bar and a dollar dance...