RSVP waiting game

aumpleby

I am waiting for the last of my RSVP's to trickle in for my upcoming wedding.  One of which is an invite sent to someone that I have not spoken to in quite some time and no longer considered friends.  We sent him a save the date in advance of our falling out, so because of that, an because of etiquette, we also sent him an invitation.  It was a hard decision to make, but since the save the date had been sent, I thought it would be downright terrible to not send the invitation.

The deadline is looming now, and we still have not received a response from him.  I would like to just assume that his silence means that he is not coming, but what if I assume wrong?  I am really not looking forward to the awkward conversation of asking him if he plans on attending when we have not spoken for so long.  Any advice would be great!  Ideally, I will go home tonight to find an RSVP from him and I will not have to worry about this anymore.  

AddieCake

If you no longer speak to him and the deadline passes, I would text him. Normally, we say call, but in this case, I understand not wanting to call.

southernbelle0915

If your deadline is coming up, that means you're very close to your wedding. Of all the things to be thinking about, try putting some fall-out, unresponsive was-friend out of your mind. Put a reminder in your phone for a couple days after the RSVP deadline. Until then, put it out of your mind. When it goes off, text/email him. If no response, assume he's not coming. 

I can tell this is bothering you. Put your mind on your FI and all the things you've loved about your upcoming wedding. 

aumpleby

Thank you both for the advice - I was able to push this out of my mind over the weekend!  I will send an email this week to him and see what happens.  

Jen4948

I'd email him a reminder, and if the deadline passes with no response, I'd assume he isn't coming.

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826

That is an awkward situation for sure. An email should suffice. I'm guessing he'll say no, but then you have your bases covered.

MobKaz

aumpleby said:

Thank you both for the advice - I was able to push this out of my mind over the weekend!  I will send an email this week to him and see what happens.  

Make the email brief and to the point.  Explain that your RSVP deadline has passed and you have not heard from him.  You could even put in a disclaimer that you are checking with all non respondents on the off chance someone did not receive their invitation.  The important component of this email, however, is to conclude by saying, "If we do not hear from you by July XX, we will assume you are unable to attend".

This puts him on notice that you do not expect to see him, nor will you be planning a meal for him.  If he were to show up, you would be in the clear.