M 93 year old grandma snarked on a wedding

[Deleted User]

So I was at my grandmas this past weekend, she pulled out a Wedding Shower announcement that was published in her paper (VERY small town) It was an open house for a girl getting married soon. It was an open house style shower, in the paper they wrote "The bride and groom would like to buy a new bedroom set. To contribute you may contact XX furniture store. (555)555-5555." 1. I thought it was funny grandma even snarked.. 2. How embarrassing to publish this in the paper.. 3. I wonder if people will donate… Grandma thought it was pretty rude.

MegEn1

I don't know if it's that rude. When my mother died (I was 9) my dad published in the obit that those who wanted to send flowers or donations should put the money to an education fund set aside for me. Sort of seems like the same thing to me - sure, you can send flowers and stuff but the couple is upfront about what they need and making it easy for those who want to contribute to do so.

But then I'm very big on being forthright. And I hate buying presents and things for other people. Just tell me the thing and I will buy you the thing!

thisismynickname2

At first blush I agree it's really weird. But, it's a very small town, and like Meg points out, obituaries commonly mention where flowers or donations can be sent.  

I've honestly never, ever heard of a wedding shower announcement but I was born and raised in a town of 20k.  Only engagement and wedding announcements were published. 

Perhaps this is not much different from church announcements?  

Elderly snarking on anything sure is funny though! 

RebeccaFlower

MegEn1 said:

I don't know if it's that rude. When my mother died (I was 9) my dad published in the obit that those who wanted to send flowers or donations should put the money to an education fund set aside for me. Sort of seems like the same thing to me - sure, you can send flowers and stuff but the couple is upfront about what they need and making it easy for those who want to contribute to do so.

But then I'm very big on being forthright. And I hate buying presents and things for other people. Just tell me the thing and I will buy you the thing!

Funerals are totally different than weddings. I think a wedding shower announcement is super tacky. 

I also think we need to banish the word 'donate' from wedding gifts, they are GIFTS, not donations to a charity case. 

ETA: You wrote contribute, oops. I still hate 'donate.'

ohannabelle

Donations to a family or charity after a death are not even frikking vaguely the same, not even remotely in the wildest imagination the same as a (presumably) healthy young couple publicly requesting donations to their household. 

Grandma is right. Public panhandling from everyone in town is tacky.

MegEn1

Nevermind, I just made that my sig.

chibiyui

I think a wedding shower announcement is tacky. 

I also think asking for contributions in said announcement is super tacky. I've sent gifts along to baby showers I wasn't invited too. If people want to give you something, they'll give it to you. 

Jen4948

I agree with Grandma.  Asking for gifts at all, especially contributions, is tacky.  Announcing a wedding shower and asking for contributions in there is extra tacky.

pinkshorts27

And does this mean that everyone in the town is getting invited to the wedding?

leelabear

Weird. Small towns confuse me. 

As I understand it from theknot posts, wedding showers are meant for gifts. And suggesting gift ideas (aka a gift registry) from your friends and family is okay. Posting it in a newspaper for stranger to read (even if its a small town) very weird. 

Personally, I'm not a fan of honeymoon funds and "contributions" to a single gift. 

Nymeru

I live in a town of 6k people.  EVERYONE knows I'm getting married.  If they want me to have a gift, they'll send me something, but I would never publish it in the paper.  And I agree with PP: asking for donations to help with funeral costs is completely different than asking for wedding presents.  The grief/happiness scale doesn't even compute.  In bad times, everyone needs to help when they can.  In good times, people should be happy with what they have/get and not ask for more from random people.

buttercup1958

If this is a small town thing then I can imagine V's hometown doing this. His town only has 500 people. But even if it is done, I find this downright embarrassing. I mean does anyone have diginty anymore?