Anniversary Date

katiegreaves23

This may be a silly question but I would appreciate some input! 

I am having a destination wedding next summer but we will get married legally before we go. So when it comes to celebrating our anniversary, do we celebrate the day we legally got married or the day of our wedding? I know it's personal preference but would still like opinions! Thanks!  

msuprincess04

This is why I think a wedding before a destination ceremony is silly. Is there anyway to change your plans to do a wedding on your ceremony date? In the end, it's up to you. See how you feel when the first annaversary rolls around.

Jells2dot0

You only really get one wedding to the same person, unless you divorce in between. So, since you're legally married before your trip, that would be your wedding date.

We married in Australia on 8/10, but it was 8/9 here in the US. We celebrate our anniversary on 8/10- the date on our marriage certificate.

Latillo

I was wondering the same thing too. Glad someone else asked! I am debating over which date we would celebrate. I am not even sure how long before our wedding we will officially get married. I would get married on our actual wedding date but getting married in Mexico is kind of a pain.

princessleia22

 

katiegreaves23 said:

This may be a silly question but I would appreciate some input! 

I am having a destination wedding next summer but we will get married legally before we go. So when it comes to celebrating our anniversary, do we celebrate the day we legally got married or the day of our wedding? I know it's personal preference but would still like opinions! Thanks!  

First of all, to get technical with you: the "day we legally got married" and the "day of our wedding" are the same day. The act of the legal marriage is the wedding. A wedding/marriage is a legal act where you become legally and contractually bound to each other.  The day you legally get married, whether it's with a big celebration or just saying quick vows at JOP and doing the legal portion, IS your wedding.  If you have a bigger ceremony afterward, that really is a reenactment of the wedding, but not the actual wedding. It can be a celebration of your commitment or a renewal of vows, or you may tell everyone that it is the wedding, but the actual wedding was the legal ceremony that took place when you signed the license, said vows (which may happen at both), and became legally married. It bothers me when people think that the legal act of getting married and the wedding are two separate things, when they really are one event. And stating it that way kind of belittles the people who choose to just go with a smaller JOP wedding and makes it seem like their small wedding isn't good enough to qualify as a real wedding. Having a small, private, or strictly legal ceremony doesn't make the commitment any less valid.

Now to answer your question: It's really up to you.  I'm sure there are people that celebrate either one.  It just depends on which one you feel is your actual wedding day. I'd guess that most people celebrate the ceremony date, since that often holds more sentimental value, but that doesn't change the fact that the legal anniversary is different and the ceremony date holds no real value besides personal sentiment. I personally would probably celebrate the legal date, since that is really when you got married and made the binding legal contract to be together, which is what a wedding & marriage is really all about... it's not about the party or the dress, it's about making that legal commitment to each other. 

I'm also in the school of thinking that you should get legally married on the day of your wedding ceremony, which solves the problem of which one to celebrate. Yes, getting legally married in another country or location can be more difficult, but that is a choice you make when you decide to get married there. I had to arrive in my destination several days earlier than I would have liked (I was there alone for 4 days, since my husband wasn't able to arrive that early) because there was a waiting period between applying for license there and the wedding. But, it was what was required for me to have my wedding at my desired destination, so I did it.  Yes, Mexico does have some additional requirements, but they really aren't that extreme or impossible to overcome and people do comply with them everyday to get married there. But, again that choice is really up to you.  I can voice my opinion but and I have no right to say what you should or should not do.

BreMR

The knot etiquette board has taught me not to have a ceremony before my wedding.  I have to admit, I only thought about the money we would save by NOT having a legal wedding in Mexico.. I didn't really think about the lying aspect of it, I was really going to get legally married and not tell anyone... 

I'm glad I was taught properly by being around these boards.... but when I was thinking about legally getting married prior to our destination wedding, I thought i would ignore the 'legal' date and consider our ceremony date our anniversary.

Knottie37373131

I am getting married in Jamaica and would not be having a destination wedding if I would have to get married beforehand. I want my legal wedding date to be my wedding date. I feel as though it can be a pain to meet another countries requirements but far worth it. I booked my wedding for Jamaica about a year and a half before the wedding. We sent our necessary documents and birth certificates out already. As long as you give yourself enough time you should be able to legally wed at your destination.

mrs4everhart

This will be up to you. We were legally married prior to our upcoming DW. We will celebrate the anniversary of our DW. The license signing date was never going to be something we commemorated. 

katiegreaves23

Thank you all for your opinions! I think we are going to go ahead and legally get married the same day as the wedding celebration, too much confusion to do it before! While it is more expensive and more work, I want one special day and to get married in front of all my family and friends!