A Rant on Facebook Weddings + Invites

KoriB2013

I really thought it was no longer a thing for weddings and Facebook to go together. Like, don't send me an invite to your wedding via Facebook. That's not real. I don't listen to those, and I legitimately think you're kidding. 

In the last week I had three friends declare their wedding date on Facebook so that "nobody else took their date." One girl posted how she wanted to get married next summer, but then decided that she needed to do it this August. Another friend posted her date, because previous girl took the date that she wanted this August. This second girl has been engaged for a while. If you're planning a wedding for this August, wouldn't you have SOMETHING nailed down by now???

Then I received an invite for another friend's reception, taking place next year... I mean, am I really supposed to know if I can attend or not this far out? Or are you just gathering us all in one place to ask for addresses? I don't know. I don't get it... 

Is this a small town thing, or is this what invites are coming to? 

kns1988

I see a lot of wedding-related oversharing on Facebook, like "send me your addresses!" broadcast to the entire Facebook population. I've never seen an actual Facebook invite, though. Luckily.

southernbelle0915

I give a serious eye roll to wedding stuff on Facebook. I'm FB friends with a girl who posted "If you haven't turned in your RSVPs tomorrow is the DEADLINE!!!" 

Um, I'm not invited. Probably most of her 986 FB friends aren't invited. Are you (the girl) seriously that lazy that you can't figure out which of your FB friends haven't sent in their RSVPs and send each of them a private message? It's probably about 6 people, so it makes sense to announce it to 986, right? Right. Just super AWish IMHO.

luckysnorkel

An acquaintance of mine referenced her wedding in some shape or form in every single post she made starting about 6 months prior.  Including posts like "attention wedding guests: don't forget to turn in your RSVPs/book your travel/check out our wedding website/etc."  I wasn't even close to being invited but you better believe I still stalked the hell out of her wedsite and registry.  It never ceases to amaze me that people not only don't password-protect those things, but facebook blast them to everyone they know.  Especially when their facebook profiles are public.  

jenajjthr

My co-worker did a great job about keeping a lot of her wedding stuff off Facebook until her bach party. Then it got blasted all over along with send in those RSVP'S! I wanted to post...ummm can't never got mine....boohoo....sad face.

Wegl13

I think I post wedding related stuff like once a month. Like when my best friend and I found BM dresses, I posted that. But partially because it was a whirlwind experience that was fun and partially bc my BFF IS HAWT. I think I posted when we got engaged, a picture of my fiancé with the little gun at BB&B, and maybe something about dress shopping with grandma. But mostly these are just "life" things that happen to be wedding related. I don't think I will be posting guest demands on fb... That's just weird. But it also seems weird to me to demand an RSVP- I think I would more likely be like "... Hey um... Uncle x? So ummm.... Are you going to be coming to the wedding? Cuz I need to know... Like... Last week.... Soooooooo......"

traditionallyuntraditional

I didn't get an invite to a wedding but I got an invite to "donate" to a honeyfund of my college ex-boyfriend who I haven't spoken too in about 5 years. I was not invited to the wedding, thank God. All it did was remind me that I should probably go through my friends list and trim down some! A friend of mine who knew him suggested I donate a $1. Clearly I didn't do it but her and I got a good laugh out of it.

climbingsingle

I haven't seen an invite, but I also have seen a lot of "This is my date" and "Send me your addresses." I find it incredibly tacky. 

speakeasy14

I haven't received a facebook invite for a wedding, but I have for a baby shower, with instructions on what gift I was expected to bring.  After having a good laugh, that person was deleted. 

I have seen the posts with daily countdowns, bragging comments, or reminders to guests.  The sad part is, since there is so much oversharing, those who do not post every detail,  appear to be less excited than those who share every ridiculous detail.  My best friend only shared her wedding website and details with those who were invited; she never posted anything on facebook.  Since people knew she was engaged she would constantly receive facebook messages asking for information or if the wedding was still on. 

[Deleted User]

I have tried to avoid posting too much because no, not all of my facebook friends are invited. Frankly, half of my facebook friends could probably be unfriended and they'd never know or care so I see no reason to share that with them...it even makes me uncomfortable when others post about it just for the fact that it's so public. 

beethery

BuckeyeinChicago said:

I didn't get an invite to a wedding but I got an invite to "donate" to a honeyfund of my college ex-boyfriend who I haven't spoken too in about 5 years. I was not invited to the wedding, thank God. All it did was remind me that I should probably go through my friends list and trim down some! A friend of mine who knew him suggested I donate a $1. Clearly I didn't do it but her and I got a good laugh out of it.

WOW. JUST... WOW. That guy must have a hard time getting in and out of buildings because his balls are so fucking huge.

brideofginger

I don't share much on Facebook about the wedding. I've heard of people using event invites in place of STDs, and I don't see anything wrong with that.

DaisyMaeMommy

So far, the only wedding-related stuff I've shared is when I got engaged, and a picture of a hideous wedding dress that I posted and told everyone I was buying, haha... Other than that, I don't have a reason or need to post a bunch of wedding stuff. It's rude.

Cookie Pusher

I posted a couple of wedding-related things on FB - the fact that the hotel extended the reservation deadline for the hotel and who to contact to reserve a seat on the shuttle. When I shared them, I sent them to a filtered list of only people who had been invited to the wedding, and that stuff was posted about 5 weeks before the big day. Other than that, we barely acknowledged that we were even having a wedding on social media because we didn't want anyone who wasn't invited to feel bad.

gladyscf

I posted that we got engaged but nothing else has gone on fb. I'm hugely private on there. 

The Knot is the only place I talk about wedding stuff. Occasionally I will answer questions to my MOH and BM. 

I used to be close friends to someone who puts absolutely everything on fb. She must have at least 5-10 status updates a day. She had 3 kids very close together and with each pregnancy she would update every twinge and discomfort she had. At about 7 months into the pregnancies she would start begging said child to make it's debut and exit her uterus. Constantly talking about eating this or that to try and stimulate labor. As someone who had a premature baby, she annoyed the shit right out of me. 

She's blocked now.

Simply Fated

I don't mind most of my friends' wedding posts, for the most part. Two of my FB friends are getting married in August. Every once in awhile "Jessica" will post something wedding related. "Only a month left until I marry the man of my dreams" that sort of thing. But my other friend, "Kim"... Every Single Post for the past 2 months, give or take a week, has been wedding related. And it's at least once a day.
I'm not invited to either wedding because I'm not as close to them as we used to be. I'm still super happy for them, of course. And I want to hear what's going on in their lives... but surely Kim has other things going on besides her wedding, right? I miss seeing cute photos of her puppy and updates about cute things her students say.

AddieCake

A former student of mine had a courthouse wedding and didn't invite anyone, but they did post a link to their registry for all of her FB the following day. Ummm, no. 

I have lots of former students who do the "I need y'all's addresses!" or "RSVP deadline is next week,people!"  To those, I seize the teachable moment and awkwardly comment about not receiving mine or asking if all 722 people on their FB are invited. They do it for baby showers, too, and I do the same. 

misshart00

AddieCake said:

A former student of mine had a courthouse wedding and didn't invite anyone, but they did post a link to their registry for all of her FB the following day. Ummm, no. 

I have lots of former students who do the "I need y'all's addresses!" or "RSVP deadline is next week,people!"  To those, I seize the teachable moment and awkwardly comment about not receiving mine or asking if all 722 people on their FB are invited. They do it for baby showers, too, and I do the same. 

Haven't you gotten several invitations this way?

AddieCake

misshart00 said:

A former student of mine had a courthouse wedding and didn't invite anyone, but they did post a link to their registry for all of her FB the following day. Ummm, no. 

I have lots of former students who do the "I need y'all's addresses!" or "RSVP deadline is next week,people!"  To those, I seize the teachable moment and awkwardly comment about not receiving mine or asking if all 722 people on their FB are invited. They do it for baby showers, too, and I do the same. 

Haven't you gotten several invitations this way?

Indeed I have! 

FiancB

I did the fb group thing, kind of in place of STDs and also to gather addresses. That way things weren't being blasted to the general fb population, and it was an easy reference point for people. It didn't work as well as I thought it would, though. Apparently sending addresses is really hard. Someone in my feed is getting married today and thank goodness that's over with because I know way more about her wedding than I should, considering I wasn't invited.

cambryn

People can customize who is able to see their posts now, so there is no excuse for making such posts public. I did a save the date link to our wedding website on facebook- but carefully made sure it was only visible to the people invited to the wedding. 

This was mostly for the people we don't have emails for (friends of family, uncle who doesn't check emails, people like that.)

kerbohl

DaisyMaeMommy said:

So far, the only wedding-related stuff I've shared is when I got engaged, and a picture of a hideous wedding dress that I posted and told everyone I was buying, haha... Other than that, I don't have a reason or need to post a bunch of wedding stuff. It's rude.

SITB

@DaisyMaeMommy What did this dress look like?  You have piqued my curiosity!

DaisyMaeMommy

@kerbohl

kerbohl

DaisyMaeMommy said:

@kerbohl

That's fantastic.  And I love the bonnet that comes with it - that just screams modern wedding!

raissyrais

@DaisyMaeMommy Well that has to be the most hideous dress I have ever seen in my whole darn life!

DaisyMaeMommy

It is indeed a hideous dress, and there is NO WAY I'd wear it!

But my family didn't know that... My phone never stopped ringing the day I posted that.

thisismynickname2

What I feel bad about is when people (not oversharers) post those rare tidbits related to their weddings.... and I cringe.

"Craft time" for two different weddings has resulted in mustache-themed props, rustic signs, chalkboards, and more rustic.  Clearly the brides are on Pinterest and not TK.  

Oh well. I'm sure everything will turn out beautifully. 

speakeasy14

Saw a few facebook cringe-worthy posts last night and just had to share with you: 1. Bride posted a status saying she was thinking of removing bridesmaids from her wedding, and then tagged those people. 2. Few hours later groom posted a status sharing details of family drama, and then tagged his family and her family. I am not friends with the bride or groom, only friends with one of the people that was tagged. *ugh I had spaces!*

[Deleted User]

DaisyMaeMommy said:

So far, the only wedding-related stuff I've shared is when I got engaged, and a picture of a hideous wedding dress that I posted and told everyone I was buying, haha... Other than that, I don't have a reason or need to post a bunch of wedding stuff. It's rude.

Me too! Engagement announcement and hideous dress. This one actually!!

Wegl13

... That's a wedding dress? Are you sure it's not a "don't do meth" ad?

lovesclimbing

Wegl13 said:

... That's a wedding dress? Are you sure it's not a "don't do meth" ad?

STIB:

I just laughed so hard I startled H.