Securing cards: how necessary?

theartistformerlyknownas

I bought this trunk to use as a card box:

I know that most of the time the cards get dropped into a slot or a cage where they can't easily be retrieved/taken... but how necessary is this? I thought if I really needed to, I could make a box out of black foam board to fit inside with a slit in the top, but I know people could just take the whole trunk if they really wanted to steal from me. I'm honestly not all that concerned about cards just sitting in a pile in an open box. Should I be?

Our venue is a private golf club - you have to be with a member to get in, and it costs an arm and a leg so all the members are pretty affluent (we're not members, lol); it's not like we're at a public park. There shouldn't even be other members floating around because the card box will be in a room we've reserved - they'll be limited to the clubhouse and the bar side of the restaurant. We're expecting around 120 couples/families so there could potentially be a lot of cards in there. No cash bar so nobody will need to take their gift back to pay for drinks, like horror stories I've heard.

JCbride2015

Well, generally I think when we are concerned about theft, it's a staff member and not a guest.  But I'd like to think at a classy place, the staff would know not to steal.  And you're right that somebody could take the whole chest anyway.

Honestly I'd do the little box inside.  At FBIL's wedding a couple weeks ago, one of our cousins left her envelope on her chair after the ceremony.  She ran back in during the first, like, five minutes of cocktail hour to get it, and it was already gone.  She said the staff members who were cleaning up the ceremony space were a little too quick to tell her it wasn't there, and didn't make a big show of looking around.  This was in a hotel open to the public (two stars, on the side of a highway) though, not a golf club.  I guess it depends how much you trust your venue.

Also, I still don't understand putting cash in an envelope.  Fi says it's an Italian thing.  If you're giving somebody a few hundred bucks for their wedding, write a damn check, people!

theartistformerlyknownas

JCbride2015 said:

Well, generally I think when we are concerned about theft, it's a staff member and not a guest.  But I'd like to think at a classy place, the staff would know not to steal.  And you're right that somebody could take the whole chest anyway.

Honestly I'd do the little box inside.  At FBIL's wedding a couple weeks ago, one of our cousins left her envelope on her chair after the ceremony.  She ran back in during the first, like, five minutes of cocktail hour to get it, and it was already gone.  She said the staff members who were cleaning up the ceremony space were a little too quick to tell her it wasn't there, and didn't make a big show of looking around.  This was in a hotel open to the public (two stars, on the side of a highway) though, not a golf club.  I guess it depends how much you trust your venue.

Also, I still don't understand putting cash in an envelope.  Fi says it's an Italian thing.  If you're giving somebody a few hundred bucks for their wedding, write a damn check, people!

IKR?! I always write checks. 

I kind of like the box idea so people can't see how many cards are in there, if anyone wanted to put their judgey pants on over how many or how few were there. IDK if anyone actually would, I just think I like gifts being a little more discrete.

So flip side of the coin, is the little box inside secure enough? Out of sight, out of mind kind of thing? 

JCbride2015

lolo883 said:

JCbride2015 said:

Well, generally I think when we are concerned about theft, it's a staff member and not a guest.  But I'd like to think at a classy place, the staff would know not to steal.  And you're right that somebody could take the whole chest anyway.

Honestly I'd do the little box inside.  At FBIL's wedding a couple weeks ago, one of our cousins left her envelope on her chair after the ceremony.  She ran back in during the first, like, five minutes of cocktail hour to get it, and it was already gone.  She said the staff members who were cleaning up the ceremony space were a little too quick to tell her it wasn't there, and didn't make a big show of looking around.  This was in a hotel open to the public (two stars, on the side of a highway) though, not a golf club.  I guess it depends how much you trust your venue.

Also, I still don't understand putting cash in an envelope.  Fi says it's an Italian thing.  If you're giving somebody a few hundred bucks for their wedding, write a damn check, people!

IKR?! I always write checks. 

I kind of like the box idea so people can't see how many cards are in there, if anyone wanted to put their judgey pants on over how many or how few were there. IDK if anyone actually would, I just think I like gifts being a little more discrete.

So flip side of the coin, is the little box inside secure enough? Out of sight, out of mind kind of thing? 

I wonder about this too, when I see those birdcages, etc. at weddings.  Of course theoretically you could open it up, or take the whole damn thing.  I think the idea is it stops somebody shady from just sneaking a card off the top, which would be less noticeable.  It's unlikely someone will be able to just grab the entire box without any guests noticing.

tammym1001

We used a wine box for our cards. We just left the top of the box open. We didn't have any cards come up missing, but we were in a private building and had 35 guests at our wedding. I never really thought about the staff, but luckily we didn't have a problem.

southernbelle0915

I agree with @JCbride2015 - guests aren't usually the reason, it's staff/vendors/etc. (people you don't know). 

On the other hand, we locked ours because I have a couple of cousins who are drug addicts and have stolen from family members' weddings in the past (*sigh*). We had a wooden box and put a very small padlock on the back facing the wall. So you couldn't see it unless you were trying to mess with the box. 

theartistformerlyknownas

Yeah I'm not concerned about our own guests or the staff. The staff all know FI and his family by name, partially because of the type of place it is, and partially because his grandparents have been members for eons. When we went in to book it, one of the servers saw FI and ran toward him for a hug, said she was so excited and was putting in a request to work our reception so she could serve us personally.

My drug-addicted family member is not invited. :-p

MamaAlly89

I just have to say I'm so glad you asked this question! I bought a similar type of box to use for the cards and it didn't even cross my mind that shady people might try to steal from it!

jenna8984

I have almost the exact same one I'm using!! Now that mine is 23 people in a small, private room in a restaurant no staff would be able to get anywhere near it without it being obvious and FIVE feet from us.

But before when I had the big wedding planned, I was going to have my dad close the box within the first hour (dinner when people wouldn't notice) and bring it out to the car. I've also heard you can ask the coordinator to close it and bring it to the bridal suite at a certain time. Make sure your bridal suite has a lock! Even if you don't bring the cards there, you still have your bridesmaids purses and stuff that the staff could potentially mess with.

theartistformerlyknownas

jenna8984 said:

I have almost the exact same one I'm using!! Now that mine is 23 people in a small, private room in a restaurant no staff would be able to get anywhere near it without it being obvious and FIVE feet from us.

But before when I had the big wedding planned, I was going to have my dad close the box within the first hour (dinner when people wouldn't notice) and bring it out to the car. I've also heard you can ask the coordinator to close it and bring it to the bridal suite at a certain time. Make sure your bridal suite has a lock! Even if you don't bring the cards there, you still have your bridesmaids purses and stuff that the staff could potentially mess with.

I don't actually have a bridal suite, but we'll be getting ready in the golf club locker room so we'll have actual lockers to use. Maybe I should get everyone a lock...

jenna8984

lolo883 said:

jenna8984 said:

I have almost the exact same one I'm using!! Now that mine is 23 people in a small, private room in a restaurant no staff would be able to get anywhere near it without it being obvious and FIVE feet from us.

But before when I had the big wedding planned, I was going to have my dad close the box within the first hour (dinner when people wouldn't notice) and bring it out to the car. I've also heard you can ask the coordinator to close it and bring it to the bridal suite at a certain time. Make sure your bridal suite has a lock! Even if you don't bring the cards there, you still have your bridesmaids purses and stuff that the staff could potentially mess with.

I don't actually have a bridal suite, but we'll be getting ready in the golf club locker room so we'll have actual lockers to use. Maybe I should get everyone a lock...

Oh my brother's was at a golf club as well and since it was evening and there were no golfers (dark out), we had our stuff strewn about the entire locker room (clothes, makeup, chips, bouquets, backpacks). We didn't put any of our stuff into the lockers, they just gave a us a key to lock the entire room.

sarajanpan

It's not just the box at the reception to be careful with.  My grandparents had their wedding presents stolen out of their garage, and the home of one of my co-workers was broken into and her presents were stolen.

Of course you cannot prevent all theft, and bad things will happen no matter, but burglars look in the paper for wedding announcements and will go for your house while you're likely to be on your honeymoon.  This is unfortunately what happened to my grandparents -- I'm not sure about my co-worker.  Burglars have also been known to go after houses when they know the entire family will be away, for example, on the day of your wedding.  

You can call your local police department to put an alert on your house the day of your wedding and during your honeymoon, and they will increase patrols of your area and look out for any suspicious activity.  The advice holds for any life event that may be announced in the papers (wakes and funerals, for example). 

littlemushroom

Just because members are affluent doesn't mean there aren't members or their kids who would steal given the opportunity.  Strangers aren't more trustworthy because they have money. And just because they aren't supposed to be in your area doesn't mean they won't wander over if the opportunity presents itself.  

There are likely going to be new employees around as well who don't necessarily have a proven track record of trustworthiness.  Unless they have a criminal record, there is no way for the club to know that an employee is more likely to steal or not given the opportunity.  At least in my state, employers are not allowed to divulge the reason past employees were let go or even that they were fired when people call for employment verification.

The issue would be how easy would it be for someone to walk in and take something?  Since all 200+ of your guests don't know each other, it is not out of the realm of possibility that someone would see a stranger walking out with a handful of cards and not say anything because they think it is a member of the other person's family helping out.  Or we have all heard about people taking back the card they put in on TK, so how does someone know they aren't doing that with the excuse of "oops, forgot to put my check in here" or something.

I am also curious how you know for sure you could find out if a card did go missing, especially if there was cash in it.  You can't ask people if they gave a gift, all you know is you didn't get anything from someone.  They know they put the card in the box, and all they know is you never sent them a thank you note. 

I think it is better to be safe than tempt fate.

JCbride2015

NikkiJay3333 said:

Just because members are affluent doesn't mean there aren't members or their kids who would steal given the opportunity.  Strangers aren't more trustworthy because they have money. And just because they aren't supposed to be in your area doesn't mean they won't wander over if the opportunity presents itself.  

There are likely going to be new employees around as well who don't necessarily have a proven track record of trustworthiness.  Unless they have a criminal record, there is no way for the club to know that an employee is more likely to steal or not given the opportunity.  At least in my state, employers are not allowed to divulge the reason past employees were let go or even that they were fired when people call for employment verification.

The issue would be how easy would it be for someone to walk in and take something?  Since all 200+ of your guests don't know each other, it is not out of the realm of possibility that someone would see a stranger walking out with a handful of cards and not say anything because they think it is a member of the other person's family helping out.  Or we have all heard about people taking back the card they put in on TK, so how does someone know they aren't doing that with the excuse of "oops, forgot to put my check in here" or something.

I am also curious how you know for sure you could find out if a card did go missing, especially if there was cash in it.  You can't ask people if they gave a gift, all you know is you didn't get anything from someone.  They know they put the card in the box, and all they know is you never sent them a thank you note. 

I think it is better to be safe than tempt fate.

This makes me so paranoid.  You would never know, and the guest would just think you were rude.

It's like the episode of HIMYM where Ted thinks Marshall and Lily rudely never gave him a thank-you note, and where they think he didn't give them a gift.  Everybody's annoyed with each other for years and they have no idea what's really going on.

theartistformerlyknownas

^^I worry about that too. Especially since I got a random box from Macy's that had my sticker on the outside but somebody else's stuff/packing slip on the inside. Makes me wonder if someone else's shipping sticker ended up on my box. At least with that I might be able to tell if something shows up in the Thank You Manager that I never ended up getting. I don't anticipate having any way of knowing if that happens with a card.

I guess though I'm no more paranoid about someone slipping one card out than I am about someone taking the whole box. I feel like the typical ways people go about "securing" their cards don't really do much but provide a false sense of security. A birdcage isn't going to dissuade any committed thief.

We will DEFINITELY have someone house-sitting while we're on our honeymoon. Not leaving a house full of brand new gifts alone while the whole world knows we're out of the country.

ohannabelle

No, Lolo, but it's harder to slip a birdcage or decorative stacked box under your coat, and get away with it. As terrible as it is, you never know who's going to steal. People have secret gambling problems, and hidden drug addictions, or just simply can't resist taking things.

Seriously. My great Auntie Mary was a kleptomaniac. Once a week, Uncle Visco would have to go around to all the neighborhood shops, and they more or less kept track, and he'd pay the bills. And about once a month, he'd take her to the picture show so my Grandma could drive all the old girls over to the house to steal their stuff back. She took weird stuff. Yahtzee dice, matches, crotchet hooks, decorative guest soap, mustache combs. And even Auntie Rose's weird little toilet paper cover doll with the crotchet dress. As a kid, I found it all terribly interesting.

What am I talking about?

Keep your cards as secure as you possibly can. Even otherwise nice people might steal. That was the point.

NYCMercedes

Fancy club near us has thefts weekly. You can't be too careful.

theartistformerlyknownas

ohannabelle said: No, Lolo, but it's harder to slip a birdcage or decorative stacked box under your coat, and get away with it. As terrible as it is, you never know who's going to steal. People have secret gambling problems, and hidden drug addictions, or just simply can't resist taking things.
Seriously. My great Auntie Mary was a kleptomaniac. Once a week, Uncle Visco would have to go around to all the neighborhood shops, and they more or less kept track, and he'd pay the bills. And about once a month, he'd take her to the picture show so my Grandma could drive all the old girls over to the house to steal their stuff back. She took weird stuff. Yahtzee dice, matches, crotchet hooks, decorative guest soap, mustache combs. And even Auntie Rose's weird little toilet paper cover doll with the crotchet dress. As a kid, I found it all terribly interesting.
What am I talking about?
Keep your cards as secure as you possibly can. Even otherwise nice people might steal. That was the point. ---------------------------------------------TK. BOXES. SERIOUSLY. ------------------------------------ OMG this sounds like my grandma. She had Alzheimer's, and was living in a memory care facility before things got really bad. She stole everything and crammed it in this big old purse she carried with her - spoons from the dining room, other people's socks, alarm clocks, books, you name it. And when she'd get into a paranoid mood where she thought the nurses there were holding her hostage, she'd swing that big ol' bag and whack them with it.

JCbride2015

All the gift cards were once stolen out from under the tree at FILs' house on Christmas Eve.  In a private house.  With only family there (out to first cousins).  We all suspected it was Cousin Bitchface but nobody could prove it.  

A few years later, Bitchface cheated on her husband, announced her new BF to the family, and moved out on her kids.  The entire family decided we liked the guy she married better than we liked her, so we don't talk to her anymore.  We love her now-ex-husband, and he takes care of the kids, so we kept all of them instead.

Moral of the story.  Sometimes, people you love are related to assholes who steal things.

theartistformerlyknownas

Soooo... will the foam board insert keep people from swiping anything, or am I only fooling myself?

southernbelle0915

lolo883 said:

Soooo... will the foam board insert keep people from swiping anything, or am I only fooling myself?

Is this trunk super special to you, or did you strictly buy it to serve as a card box? If the latter, would you be willing to keep it closed with a heart shaped padlock or something similar (so it looks more decorative than anything else) and cut a slot in the top? 

Something like this:

http://www.amazon.com/Antique-Reproduction-Heart-Padlock-Skeleton/dp/B003E6VUCE

http://www.blisshomeanddesign.com/ACCESSORIES/Decorative-Objects/Cast-Iron-Heart-Lock-and-Key-Black.html

jenna8984

lolo883 said:

Soooo... will the foam board insert keep people from swiping anything, or am I only fooling myself?

I think so because someone would have to remove it and replace it exactly and that seems hard to do quickly/ with people in sight.

theartistformerlyknownas

@southernbelle0915 I bought it to use as a card box with the hope of keeping it as a pretty storage box after the wedding. So it wouldn't be the end of the world if I had to modify it with a slit and a lock... but I'd rather not if I don't have to.

KPBM89

This is what we did to secure our card box.  I bought a picnic basket and some of that thick foam posterboard (which was only 50 cents at Dollar Tree).  I cut the posterboard and folded edges on it and wedged that m-f'er in there across both sides (this side, I used an x-acto to cut the slit in it and the other side of the basket, if opened, is just the flat foam posterboard).  It would be very difficult for someone to remove it, but the basket will also be on a table that is near us at the reception.

At FI's brother's wedding, they had a box with a slit in the top, but they left the box just open.  The place had a ton of staff members and the box was close to the door.  I would definitely not have done it that way myself.

theartistformerlyknownas

@KPBM89 that's pretty much exactly what I was planning to do. Get some foam board, score the edges to make a "box" (top and flap sides, so it doesn't fall in all the way) that just exactly fits in there. 

KPBM89

lolo883 said:

@KPBM89 that's pretty much exactly what I was planning to do. Get some foam board, score the edges to make a "box" (top and flap sides, so it doesn't fall in all the way) that just exactly fits in there. 

It works like a charm!  If you make the box just a little too big, it will wedge in very nice and secure b/c the foam kinda smushes itself to fit.  I even had FI push on it and try to pull it up and it barely moved a cm.  He is kinda worried about actually getting the cards out of it!