Students

Aspiring Middle School Teacher

My fiance and I got engaged about five weeks ago and we couldn't be happier. My fiance is 26 and will be finishing his second undergrad degree (BS in Civil Engineering) in the spring. I'm 20 and I'm starting my junior year of college this fall. We're getting married November 21, 2015! We've already booked our venue and we're so excited. Our families and friends have been overwhelmingly supportive even though I am "young to be getting married" but it's obvious that they can see just as we can that we were meant to be together. I never imagined getting married at 21, but now I couldn't picture my life any other way. I've survived brain cancer and my family has persevered through other health tragedies so I am a firm believer in wholeheartedly pursuing and committing to the people you love, because you just don't know what life could hand you tomorrow.

Re: Aspiring Middle School Teacher

  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 Dirty Jerz
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
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    Hi there!  There's a pretty big cancer support movement going on right now on the chit chat board, lots of Knotties are survivors or are currently battling.  So happy to hear you are healthy!!

    I'm a former 9th grade teacher and there are lots of teachers around these parts, too.  We love talking about classrooms and kids.

    Be aware Students is a pretty slow board.  Come on over to the other forums and say hi!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    image

    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  • Hi! I'm getting married 8/8/15 and am also in school for middle school education! woo!! I'm with you, I will be married at 22 and never thought it would be that way, and have struggled with the idea for years, but we get to enjoy married life sooner and go through life with the person we want to share our lives with! 

    Congrats on winning your battle! It sounds like you are ready for some happiness and celebration in your life!
    smsterner94
  • JBee85JBee85
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
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    edited August 2014
    I have been teaching for five years at secondary level (middle and high school) and have been slashed from three schools due to budget cuts. My last school cut 21 out of 25 teachers, hired new ones, and made mostly everyone part-time so they wouldn't have to pay for employment benefits. All school systems were either private and public, and in different states. I am back in school getting my masters in special ed to make myself marketable in hopes of finding stable employment in the education field (I'm English certified). Unless you have a degree and cert in Math or Special Ed, you will have a lot of difficulty finding a teaching job right out of college.

    I come on this board and can't understand why many undergrad brides are rushing to get married. There are a LOT of college grads that get out of school and can't find work. The teaching field has been suffering since 2008 where schools had to cut multiple positions to maintain a budget to run their schools. You can't plan where you will live or where you will wind up because the teaching market is THAT unstable. Sure you can substitute, but you won't be making a lot of money from it. I hope your future husband expects to make the household income for the next few years and has a job that offers healthcare (subs do NOT receive any benefits).

    I strongly advise you hold off on your wedding until you finish school and have a teaching job. Seriously. As I mentioned before, I had to relocate to THREE different states and be in an LDR because I was trying to get teaching experience. It is exceedingly rare for a school district to hire someone with no teaching experience or just student teaching. Can your husband relocate with you to a different state if that ends up being the case? The job market for teachers is disastrous because it is difficult to get in and STAY IN. I am also getting married the same date, but have been with my fiancé for 10 years. Trust me... I am dealing with a lot of anxiety finding a job with an upcoming wedding and it's not a situation you want to be in while married. Good luck.
  • Yes he knows that I could be dependent on him for the first few years until I find a teaching job. We're both ok with that now. He's studying to be a civil engineer and will be graduating several months before our wedding. He will make good money even in an entry level civil position so we're not worried about things just yet. I also live in the biggest school district in Georgia that consistently hires more teachers every year. We're not willing to relocate so we will do what we have to until I can get a job.
  • JBee85JBee85
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    member
    edited August 2014
    Just because a job makes a lot of money doesn't mean that the job market is excellent.
    http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/engineering-majors/1300116-civil-engineering-outlook-advice.html
    http://career-advice.monster.com/job-search/company-industry-research/2013-engineering-jobs-outlook/article.aspx
    So do you both have a backup plan in case none of you are able to find employment by the time you are married? As it is neither of you can financially support a marriage. Seriously, it's better to wait until one of you has a job. Many divorces these days are resulted from financial instability.
    I taught in the DC area and still got cut because of budget. If a school system is constantly hiring multiple teachers every year, it's a sign they're cutting. I used to work in a southern state where we had a lot of teachers relocated from Georgia because of budget cuts in their home state. Good Luck though.
  • edited September 2014
    I have struggled with the idea of getting married before I have a stable job, but ultimately, we will have to go through rough times together, married or not and jobs can be lost at any point. I don't want to be rude, but the main reason I stay off the student board is because people aren't usually supportive, just criticizing. The OP is looking to share her story with others, not to receive critiques or judgements about her decision. I deal with a lot of friends, family, and coworkers who don't think my marriage is a good idea, and it's hard to remain positive through all that, and then not be able to find support on these boards that are supposed to be about finding common ground to be able to relate on. I, and I'm sure the OP as well, are well aware of the many challenges that we may face through our marriages, however, I know that what I want right now, less than a year away from my wedding is to be a happy bride, and to be able to feel comfortable asking for help on topics that I want help on, like what kind of flowers are best, not necessarily advice on how miserable my life will be. Not trying to start trouble, just felt that I needed to say something.
    missxasia
  • I'm getting married May 30th and am in my student teaching (Intervention Specialist). I'm going to be totally honest with you. I. Am. F*cking. Exhausted. Not sure whether you'll be working while student teaching, but if my mom wasn't able to help me plan so much, I would not be able to have the wedding (I would love to elope, FI will not). With lesson planning, grading, then working, I don't have time to breathe let alone plan. 
    I'm with you, OP, I don't see any point in waiting. I know I'm with who I want to spend the rest of my life with, but it's so much to handle. Just be careful. Get what you can get done now.
  • Hey OP!  So glad to hear you made it through cancer, that must have been rougher than anything I could ever imagine.  What kind of venue/wedding are you two doing?

    JBee: I realize you're trying to be helpful, but the reality is that OP already booked a venue and talked it over with the families.  In addition, moving and employment can sometimes be harder when you're not married (eg there are spousal hires in some fields, but if you're not married it doesn't matter).  Once you're no longer a student and you're older, you lose health insurance...if you're married, only one of you needs to hold down a job with benefits at a time.  If you're not, then you're without insurance until both parties have their own benefit package.  And for someone who has gone through recovery for cancer, health insurance is...pretty important.

    In addition, families fall on hard times no matter when they form.  You can be fully employed for two years and finally have the wedding, then lose your job the next fiscal year.  Hinging a lifetime together on the presence of a specific kind of job is a privilege not everyone has, especially considering that entry-level jobs now have extremely high standards that recent grads don't generally qualify for.

    I'm in graduate school and should be graduating this summer.  Our wedding is August 2.  We've been together and living together for 6 years and it's not practical to wait anymore.  FI landed a full time job but it's riddled with difficulties (middle school teacher in a very low-income area). However, it has benefits that can extend to a spouse, which I will desperately need as soon as my time as a student is up.  For me, I need mental health access, dental access, and eye care in addition to general care.  Going without these is terrifying and crippling.

    We live paycheck to paycheck right now with minimal cushion in the bank, and it may be that way until I get my teaching certification and land a job too.  
    I really don't think that this is uncommon; less and less couples get married when they're already homeowners with a steady job history and savings in a bank.  

    In short: OP came here in what appears to be a happy and excited mood with very specific circumstances and this event is clearly going to happen.  Your negativity and passive-aggressive unsolicited advice is really rude.  Good job on telling a cancer survivor, who is so very in love, who is getting through school successfully and wants to do things now while she can, that she's being really stupid and oh my GOD is the job market awful and boy do you know you should only get married once you're part of the middle class already?  Marriage isn't for poor students!!!

    Ugh. I realize JBee posted back in August and this is an old thread, but I am so tired of hearing this directed at student brides and other young or financially insecure brides.  


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