.

lovesweetly920

.

Maggie0829

If 2 of your BMs want to use a different make-up artist and they are willing to make arrangements and pay for it then that is their prerogative.

At this point I would just focus on the fact that you are getting married in 2 months rather then the silly drama that is going on between you and your girls and the girls as a whole.

And yeah, I would tell your FI again to stay out of it because him interfering will just make things worse.

[Deleted User]

ssorge1026 said:

My wedding is 2 months away, and I am DREADING it!!! I have four bridesmaids, whom I have been friends with my entire life. One bridesmaid has chosen to not participate in anything which has made the other three very mad and irritated. The other two bridesmaids I have been begging for months to buy their bridesmaid dresses (which are a 100 bucks) and I kept getting the "I can't afford it I am tight on money" but then they would be going on vacations with their significant others, going shopping, going to concerts, baseball games, so they finally bought their dresses last week and they are coming in two days before my wedding. I have been very laid back and I haven't asked them to help me with anything, my MOH (whom I have no problems with, has planned the bridal shower and bacherlorette party with the two bridesmaids helps).

 I let the girls choose their dresses, their shoes, how they wanted their hair, and I even let them choose who they wanted to do their hair for the wedding ( I gave them a couple options). I chose who I wanted to do my makeup, I did my trial run, and then set out a group text that said that "I did my trial run for makeup tonight, airbrush makeup will be 75 dollars, please let me know ASAP if you would like your makeup done so I can give her a head count as she will be traveling from a few hours away."

My bridesmaid whom doesn't want to participate in anything replied back to count her out and she would do her own as she could not afford it, my MOH texted back saying count her in and my other two never responded.

Two weeks have passed and got a text message from one of those two bridesmaids last night saying that they her and the other bridesmaid decided to hire another makeup artist and needs to know where we are getting ready and what time their makeup artist should be there. I was really caught off guard and hurt, during our conversation she proceeded to say that she didn't know my makeup artist and didn't trust her, and that she has had her makeup done by this girl before and would rather her girl do it. When I suggested that it would mean a lot to me if we all got it done by my girl and together, she just replied that she would just do her own. I kept apologizing, I have sent her three long text messages with apologies, trying to reason and understand and she has basically put me on ignore and has not responded.

My fiancé is so irritated, and wants to call and yell at both of them and tell them that this is my wedding and to respect what I want but I have been begging him not do that. I just don't know what to do. Do I let them just bring in their own makeup artist? This is just coming at a really bad time, my bridal shower is suppose to be on Saturday and I don't want their to be any tension, I am already dealing with the struggle that my mom just decided that she would rather take off and go on a vacation this week and miss my bridal shower.

Anyone have any tips of advice? Suggestions? Happy, positive thoughts?

To the bolded:

1. Your bridesmaids don't have to do anything except show up in the proper attire, be sober and smile for the pictures.  She doesn't have to participate in showers, bachelorette party, etc.  Would it be nice if she did?  Sure.  But she doesn't have to.

2. As long as they ordered their dresses and they are in time for the wedding, everything's fine.  Don't be concerned about how you think you see they're spending their money with vacations and concerts.  Those events could have been paid in advance, could be gifts, who knows. But that doesn't matter.

3. In the last wedding I was in, I didn't know the woman personally who was doing makeup for the WP and I didn't want to pay to have it done ($75 is a lot to me for makeup), so a friend of mine who is in training to be a professional makeup artist came in and did my makeup for me. And you know what?  It was fine.

4. I can understand why you may feel hurt, but if she wants to do her makeup on her own, then she can.  Don't take it personally.

5. Your FI should definitely not call them up. That's going to create unnecessary drama.

6. If they feel more comfortable with this makeup artist coming in and doing their makeup, let them. Is it really that big of a deal that they want to go with someone else?

You just need to relax.

offensivekitten2

ssorge1026 said:

My wedding is 2 months away, and I am DREADING it!!! I have four bridesmaids, whom I have been friends with my entire life. One bridesmaid has chosen to not participate in anything which has made the other three very mad and irritated. The other two bridesmaids I have been begging for months to buy their bridesmaid dresses (which are a 100 bucks) and I kept getting the "I can't afford it I am tight on money" but then they would be going on vacations with their significant others, going shopping, going to concerts, baseball games, so they finally bought their dresses last week and they are coming in two days before my wedding. I have been very laid back and I haven't asked them to help me with anything, my MOH (whom I have no problems with, has planned the bridal shower and bacherlorette party with the two bridesmaids helps).

 I let the girls choose their dresses, their shoes, how they wanted their hair, and I even let them choose who they wanted to do their hair for the wedding ( I gave them a couple options). I chose who I wanted to do my makeup, I did my trial run, and then set out a group text that said that "I did my trial run for makeup tonight, airbrush makeup will be 75 dollars, please let me know ASAP if you would like your makeup done so I can give her a head count as she will be traveling from a few hours away."

My bridesmaid whom doesn't want to participate in anything replied back to count her out and she would do her own as she could not afford it, my MOH texted back saying count her in and my other two never responded.

Two weeks have passed and got a text message from one of those two bridesmaids last night saying that they her and the other bridesmaid decided to hire another makeup artist and needs to know where we are getting ready and what time their makeup artist should be there. I was really caught off guard and hurt, during our conversation she proceeded to say that she didn't know my makeup artist and didn't trust her, and that she has had her makeup done by this girl before and would rather her girl do it. When I suggested that it would mean a lot to me if we all got it done by my girl and together, she just replied that she would just do her own. I kept apologizing, I have sent her three long text messages with apologies, trying to reason and understand and she has basically put me on ignore and has not responded.

My fiancé is so irritated, and wants to call and yell at both of them and tell them that this is my wedding and to respect what I want but I have been begging him not do that. I just don't know what to do. Do I let them just bring in their own makeup artist? This is just coming at a really bad time, my bridal shower is suppose to be on Saturday and I don't want their to be any tension, I am already dealing with the struggle that my mom just decided that she would rather take off and go on a vacation this week and miss my bridal shower.

Anyone have any tips of advice? Suggestions? Happy, positive thoughts?

You are causing 99.9% of your own stress. Take a moment and ponder this question: why the hell does it matter that they use your artist. For real, why?

southernbelle0915

ssorge1026 said:

My wedding is 2 months away, and I am DREADING it!!! I hope you haven't said this to your FI - how incredibly hurtful!! I have four bridesmaids, whom I have been friends with my entire life. One bridesmaid has chosen to not participate in anything which has made the other three very mad and irritated. The other two bridesmaids I have been begging for months to buy their bridesmaid dresses (which are a 100 bucks) and I kept getting the "I can't afford it I am tight on money" but then they would be going on vacations with their significant others, going shopping, going to concerts, baseball games, so they finally bought their dresses last week and they are coming in two days before my wedding. I have been very laid back and I haven't asked them to help me with anything, my MOH (whom I have no problems with, has planned the bridal shower and bacherlorette party with the two bridesmaids helps).

 I let the girls choose their dresses, their shoes, how they wanted their hair, and I even let them choose who they wanted to do their hair for the wedding ( I gave them a couple options). I chose who I wanted to do my makeup, I did my trial run, and then set out a group text that said that "I did my trial run for makeup tonight, airbrush makeup will be 75 dollars, please let me know ASAP if you would like your makeup done so I can give her a head count as she will be traveling from a few hours away."

My bridesmaid whom doesn't want to participate in anything replied back to count her out and she would do her own as she could not afford it, my MOH texted back saying count her in and my other two never responded. Sounds like only you and MOH are getting make up done by this artist.

Two weeks have passed and got a text message from one of those two bridesmaids last night saying that they her and the other bridesmaid decided to hire another makeup artist and needs to know where we are getting ready and what time their makeup artist should be there. I was really caught off guard and hurt, during our conversation she proceeded to say that she didn't know my makeup artist and didn't trust her, and that she has had her makeup done by this girl before and would rather her girl do it.Hurt? Why are you "hurt" that someone wants to use their own make-up artist? Who cares?! Seriously - Who. Cares. When I suggested that it would mean a lot to me if we all got it done by my girl and together, she just replied that she would just do her own. Why do you care? Honestly? This is really controlling and manipulative, IMO. I kept apologizing, I have sent her three long text messages with apologies, trying to reason and understand and she has basically put me on ignore and has not responded. I would too... that's some crazypants stuff right there. IT'S A MAKE UP ARTIST. It's not a big deal. 

My fiancé is so irritated, and wants to call and yell at both of them and tell them that this is my wedding and to respect what I want but I have been begging him not do that. Ok, seriously? SERIOUSLY? What's he going to say, "hey BM - my fiancee's feelings are hurt because you don't want to use her make-up artist. You better use her make-up artist or else!" I would laugh my ass off if I got a call like that and ask if it was a prank. Think about it for a minute... I just don't know what to do. You call your friend and tell her to bring her make-up artist. You get your make up done side by side. Voila! Fun make up and picture time. Yay! Do I let them just bring in their own makeup artist? Yes. This is just coming at a really bad time, my bridal shower is suppose to be on Saturday and I don't want their to be any tension, I am already dealing with the struggle that my mom just decided that she would rather take off and go on a vacation this week and miss my bridal shower.

Anyone have any tips of advice? Suggestions? Happy, positive thoughts?

This is such a non-issue I can hardly stand it. Call up your friend and tell her to bring her make-up artist. It's actually an ideal situation because you can have make-up done at the same time, decreasing "getting ready" time. 

TBH, it sounds like you are stressed out about other things and taking it out on this situation. I would do some reflecting to figure out the true source of your anxiety. I can't accept that someone would be "dreading" their wedding day because of someone using a different make-up artist. First world problems.

[Deleted User]

You've been doing great so far with your bridesmaid & it sounds like the stress of planning is getting to you. Let your girls have whoever they want do their hair & makeup. If there isn't enough room for you to have two makeup people there while getting ready, just let them know that unfortunately due to space only one artist can be there, but as long as they are at xx location by x:xx pm, you're fine with them having them get ready at a different place so that they can use their own person. Trust me, it will be ok. If the dresses don't work out, it's their responsibility to figure something out to make things work. If they end up stepping down at the last minute, just remember this, as long as you and your FI are there & the officiant, the most important thing will, you will still be getting married to the love of your life. Everything else is icing on the cake.

Liatris2010

My MUA did me and several BMs. My MOH hired her own MUA. She had her makeup done with everyone else and it was not a big deal. I don't understand the problem. They still want to get ready with you, they just want someone else to do their makeup, which is a personal thing and you should respect. If anything, it will make getting ready go faster so you have more time for pictures and whatever else. This is a good thing.

AddieCake

I wouldn't want my makeup done by someone I've never used before, either.

lovesweetly920

Should I let them decide what colors to use, how dark, etc too?

AddieCake

ssorge1026 said:

Should I let them decide what colors to use, how dark, etc too?

Of course. How does this possibly affect you? Who cares?

[Deleted User]

ssorge1026 said:

Should I let them decide what colors to use, how dark, etc too?

Yes, I would. Let them decide.

southernbelle0915

ssorge1026 said:

Should I let them decide what colors to use, how dark, etc too?

Yes.

manateehugger

ssorge1026 said:

Should I let them decide what colors to use, how dark, etc too?

As a non-white person with mostly white friends, please, dear Lord let the girls make their own decisions on makeup. You have no idea what looks good on someone else's skin and features. 

Maggie0829

ssorge1026 said:

Should I let them decide what colors to use, how dark, etc too?

Their face their choice.

Maggie0829

I really don't get the point of deleting your post, especially when you have been quoted.

lovesweetly920

because I am going to let them do it their way, I came here for advice and suggestions. I got them and I don't need the advice anymore or my email going off every couple minutes. that is all.

Maggie0829

ssorge1026 said:

because I am going to let them do it their way, I came here for advice and suggestions. I got them and I don't need the advice anymore or my email going off every couple minutes. that is all.

But deleting is seen as rude especially by those who took time out of their day to give you advice. Also, lurkers may have the same issues or questions you do and your post could help them. Finally, deleting your post and changing the title just draws more attention which will lead to more responses and then more pings from your inbox.

Oh and if you don't want the email pings you can turn those notifications off in your settings.

manateehugger

ssorge1026 said:

because I am going to let them do it their way, I came here for advice and suggestions. I got them and I don't need the advice anymore or my email going off every couple minutes. that is all.

Change your settings so that it doesn't notify you via email when someone responds (that's annoying anyway). 

And just a couple handy tips for getting a feel for the boards. 

1. Deleting your original post is considered bad form. Others may benefit from reading your post and its responses. 

2. Changing the title of your post is a way to gaurantee that more people will come in and see what the drama was about and comment. 

3. If you'd like everyone to stop posting, just say "Thanks for the advice. I'll consider it" in the thread. People will move on. Then people who keep commenting without new suggestions are just being douches who didn't read the whole thread and you can call them out on it. 

Maggie0829

Yes, because a "." is so much better.

sarawifenow

Puppy time?

slothiegal

holyguacamole79

I think we need some dancing, too.

holyguacamole79

Wait, I had a post from earlier .... where'd it go?  I didn't say anything delete worthy.

ETA:  nevermind, this was cross-posted.

JCbride2015

PDKH said:

ssorge1026 said:

because I am going to let them do it their way, I came here for advice and suggestions. I got them and I don't need the advice anymore or my email going off every couple minutes. that is all.

Change your settings so that it doesn't notify you via email when someone responds (that's annoying anyway). 

And just a couple handy tips for getting a feel for the boards. 

1. Deleting your original post is considered bad form. Others may benefit from reading your post and its responses. 

2. Changing the title of your post is a way to gaurantee that more people will come in and see what the drama was about and comment. 

3. If you'd like everyone to stop posting, just say "Thanks for the advice. I'll consider it" in the thread. People will move on. Then people who keep commenting without new suggestions are just being douches who didn't read the whole thread and you can call them out on it. 

4. If you're going to post to multiple boards, put XP in the title so we know it's cross-posted, please.

Jen4948

Post deleted