NWR. I know I'm being irrational.

AddieCake

Internet hugs! I am feeling kind of sad about how a couple people in my life are acting, too. I wish we could go out for some cake and commiserate and then for margaritas when you kick ass on the exam!

climbingsingle

I'm sorry!! I will totally send you a care package, even though you live like 40 mins from me.

huskypuppy14

I live in MA, I could send you something. Cape Cod chips? Nantucket Nectars? Good luck on your exam, is it next week?

JCbride2015

Aw, thanks everybody.  You are all so sweet and I know I don't actually know you guys (most of you anyway) but it really put a smile on my face.  Especially the virtual care packages, haha!

@AddieCake I'm sorry to hear you're stressing about people too.  And you remembered my favorite drink!  I am sure I'll be enjoying some margs on Thursday night, so I'll raise one for you.

@huskypuppy14 The exam is from Tue-Thu next week.  Tue is the only day I'm really worried about (NY state exam), Wed is multiple choice I'm doing fine on, and Thu is NJ which I don't actually need for my job, just want to have.

@morphemes I know, I really need to try poutine.  Someday.

THIS TIME NEXT WEEK I WILL BE LEAVING THE EXAM.  Holy shit.  7 days until freedom.

princessleia22

Parents have very different ways of showing they care.  I live across country from my parents.

My dad will call me regularly just to talk my ear off about nothing... or to tell me the same story he's already told me 20 times. My phone is filled with saved voicemails from him "just calling to say hi", usually during the work day when I'm busy or in meetings.  Although, I don't think he's called me even once in the month since I got married... I should call him to make sure he knows he's still allowed to be in my life even though I'm married now.  His calls and repeated stories can be annoying, but I wouldn't trade them for anything.  

My mom is not a telephone person at all.  I know she doesn't love me any less, but I honestly talk to her on the phone maybe 2-3 times a year. But, I still know she cares.

As far as wedding stuff, both our parents were pretty uninvolved.  I don't think they weren't interested, but they just didn't want to intrude.  If I went to them with ideas or questions, they were happy to help, but otherwise they really just stayed out of it until we came to them.  I was always pretty independent, so I think my parents figured I'd just rather do it on my own, or that I'd let them know if I wanted them more involved. But, I'm not sure they even once asked "how's the wedding planning"... they just figured I'd let them know when there was something worth discussing.

Studying for exams can definitely be stressful and makes every other area of life seem stressful.  I don't know about bar exam, but I had to go through Architect Registration Exams, which are no picnic.  It was 7 exams that took me about 3 years to get through... with 4-8 weeks of solid hard core studying for each exam. I never got care packages sent to me. I couldn't imaging trying to plan or even think about a wedding while dealing with my exams. But, the stress of exams seems to amplify every other stress in life. And it's okay to have a pity party every now and then. Sometimes you just need to let it all out before that stress builds up and makes you explode. I recall moments where I would literally scream and if someone asked what was wrong, I didn't have a specific reason... it was just a combination of life in general that needed to be released. But, I have found that online forums are really great, anonymous ways to vent when needed... so I'm glad we can be here for you when you need to vent.

And as far as being jealous of the support others get, like other posters have said, Facebook is usually a glorified version of reality... you don't really know if there really is much to be jealous of.  And although, this thread may not be a physical care package sent to your house, I bet you have a much better support system right here than many of them are getting in those boxes. And it looks like there are several people here that would be very willing to send you a care package. If you want to PM me your mailing address, or even your e-mail address (you can send a lot via e-mail these days), I would gladly send you a care package to help make exams a bit easier.

JCbride2015

@smichek I loved your post not because of FMIL but because of your encouragement.  Thanks!

JCbride2015

And thanks everybody for the offers of care packages, both virtual and real!   I will happily accept all virtual hugs, puppies, kittens, and encouragement!  If you have the urge to send something IRL to somebody, ask @Ic07 or @smichek for @Jells2dot0's PO Box and send her a card to brighten her hospital stay and cancer house arrest.

kat1114

If it makes you feel any better, I started my job the week after the bar exam, so I had a whopping 2 days of freedom. It definitely sucked to see some classmates on Facebook posting about their fun post-bar trips, but honestly, by the time I was done with the bar, I really didn't care. It helped me to remember that the most important thing about the exam wasn't celebrating- it was actually passing the damn thing! I couldn't even drink after the bar exam because I was on a course of antibiotics that reacted very badly with booze.

As far as family support, I know my mom and I talked less during the bar exam, because she didn't want to keep me from studying. Maybe your parents are just trying to stay out of your hair?

Anyways, you're so close to the end! You're going to do great next week!

smalfrie19

smichek said:

FI's mom is super distant too. Like we've lived in our house for over two months now and she still hasn't come over. And we live a whole ten minutes away from her. I've told her before to pick a night and let me know because her work schedule varies from week to week. She's never once asked "is this day good?" When her sister was hospitalized she called all of her siblings and FI, but completely forgot about her daughter, who lives thirty minutes away. The only time FMIL sees FSIL is when FSIL comes down here to do wedding stuff with me and stops by FMIL's on the way home. FMIL never reaches out to her kids and they live super close. It is sad. Before I moved down here, FI was hospitalized because he was showing signs of a heart attack (though he didn't have one). His mom never visited him in the hospital. He called her and asked for his phone charger because his phone was about to die and she said "No, I'm not driving fifteen minutes to the hospital so you can text smichek. You can live a couple days without a phone." He told his uncle and FMIL would not allow him in the house to get the phone charger. We still have no clue why she got so pissy and adamant that he not having a phone charger. Then FI had pnuemonia. FMIL never came to see him. I think she texted him twice in four days to ask if he was ok.

I've had some people try to justify it as "well some people just parent from a distance" but really I think some parents just aren't close to their kids and don't put enough (if any) effort into the relationship.

So pity party it out if you want to. You're completely justified in it. I know I would be upset if I was in your situation. But don't pity party too long because you have to rock the bar next week! We are all here for you any time you need us!

This is my MIL..she just crazy distant and I DO NOT understand it. I tried to get FI to connect with his mom more, but I finally realized that its not my relationship to manage. 

Jells2dot0

JCbride2015 said:

And thanks everybody for the offers of care packages, both virtual and real!   I will happily accept all virtual hugs, puppies, kittens, and encouragement!  If you have the urge to send something IRL to somebody, ask @Ic07 or @smichek for @Jells2dot0's PO Box and send her a card to brighten her hospital stay and cancer house arrest.

Sending hugs your way to get through this and for thinking of me during all of this!!

I can't type well right now b/c they inserted a pic line in my right arm and it hurts like hell. But (((hugs)))

lc07

Oh JC. I'm sorry. It sucks. It really does. I know it's not the same, but I totally think you should plan a really awesome day for yourself the day or two after the exam. Massage, Mani/Pedi, and All the Margaritas!

JasperandOpal

As a Californian, let me just say YOU OPTED TO DO A THREE DAY BAR WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE TO???!!!!! No wonder you are stressed. Kind of cool that NY/NJ have it set up so you can do it all at once though.

jenna8984

Dude I feel you. I went to college 2 hours from home. The one and ONLY time my dad came was on my graduation day. And we were a "normal" family- parents still married, dinner at the table each night, family vacations. It's not like he was some distant deadbeat, but he never came up there once to visit or take me to lunch or help me move or anything. My mom came about 3 times just to move me into different apartments. 

When I graduated college and moved out west, I was there for 3 years and they didn't visit once. I offered to pay for their tickets (even though they make plenty) and still not interested. Now they live down south and they come visit my brother and I (in our hometown) for ONE WEEKEND per year. My brother has their only grandchildren and they just don't care. They treat us like we're just random adults they happen to know, not their children! They traded their normal weekend here for my wedding weekend because God forbid they come twice in one year. 

So yea, I'm sorry. They suck bad. And we just tell ourselves how much better we will be at it!! 

Jells2dot0

smichek said:

Jells2dot0 said:

JCbride2015 said:

And thanks everybody for the offers of care packages, both virtual and real!   I will happily accept all virtual hugs, puppies, kittens, and encouragement!  If you have the urge to send something IRL to somebody, ask @Ic07 or @smichek for @Jells2dot0's PO Box and send her a card to brighten her hospital stay and cancer house arrest.

Sending hugs your way to get through this and for thinking of me during all of this!!

I can't type well right now b/c they inserted a pic line in my right arm and it hurts like hell. But (((hugs)))

Ewwwww, no. You don't have a central line they can use???


I have a power port, but guess what caused the clot?? So, no more port for me!!

JCbride2015

smichek said:

Jells2dot0 said:

Jells2dot0 said:

And thanks everybody for the offers of care packages, both virtual and real!   I will happily accept all virtual hugs, puppies, kittens, and encouragement!  If you have the urge to send something IRL to somebody, ask @Ic07 or @smichek for @Jells2dot0's PO Box and send her a card to brighten her hospital stay and cancer house arrest.

Sending hugs your way to get through this and for thinking of me during all of this!! I can't type well right now b/c they inserted a pic line in my right arm and it hurts like hell. But (((hugs)))

Ewwwww, no. You don't have a central line they can use???

I have a power port, but guess what caused the clot?? So, no more port for me!!

NOOOOOOOOO. That is awful!

Oh no!  Poor Jells.  Feel better.

beethery

JCbride2015 said:

I've never had cheese curds or poutine. *ducks*

I had cheese curds at a bar in Williamsburg called Burnside. They were good as hell, you ought to go by there when you get a break.

JCbride2015

beethery said:

JCbride2015 said:

I've never had cheese curds or poutine. *ducks*

I had cheese curds at a bar in Williamsburg called Burnside. They were good as hell, you ought to go by there when you get a break.

I will check it out.  I'm sort of anti-Williamsburg purely based on reputation and stuck-up-ness about JC being better than Brooklyn.  But I know there are lots of cool bars in Williamsburg, I really should go there sometime.

beethery

JCbride2015 said:

beethery said:

JCbride2015 said:

I've never had cheese curds or poutine. *ducks*

I had cheese curds at a bar in Williamsburg called Burnside. They were good as hell, you ought to go by there when you get a break.

I will check it out.  I'm sort of anti-Williamsburg purely based on reputation and stuck-up-ness about JC being better than Brooklyn.  But I know there are lots of cool bars in Williamsburg, I really should go there sometime.

I had no idea where the hell we were, so my friend was bringing me around to different places. I said, "J that guy has a beard and ironic flannel, are we in Williamsburg?"

"You got it!" and then we had cheese curds.

JCbride2015

beethery said:

JCbride2015 said:

beethery said:

JCbride2015 said:

I've never had cheese curds or poutine. *ducks*

I had cheese curds at a bar in Williamsburg called Burnside. They were good as hell, you ought to go by there when you get a break.

I will check it out.  I'm sort of anti-Williamsburg purely based on reputation and stuck-up-ness about JC being better than Brooklyn.  But I know there are lots of cool bars in Williamsburg, I really should go there sometime.

I had no idea where the hell we were, so my friend was bringing me around to different places. I said, "J that guy has a beard and ironic flannel, are we in Williamsburg?"

"You got it!" and then we had cheese curds.

God, I really can't stand Brooklyn.

theexactlee

I'm a mommy, I can send you a care package. I can make a mean chocolate chip cookie (rice krispies are my secret ingredient) and other lovely things to get you through this awful test!

falsara

Awwww, sorry about the lack of parental support OP.  I'm sending virtual hugs and if anyone ever needs a care package, I'm bomb at them. Being a military brat taught me how to put an amazing care package together for any event in life.  You name it I can do it. I don't know if your a fan of Gummy Bears but I know where I can find 5 pound bags of them!

Jells2dot0 sorry about the issues with your power port, sucks that they had to put your pick line in  such an awful place. Hugs to you too.

In fact hugs for all my Friends

JCbride2015

I just crushed a practice quiz.  I can do it, ladies.

beethery

JCbride2015 said:

I just crushed a practice quiz.  I can do it, ladies.

Two of my favorite things in this gif. Emma Stone is singing T-Pain's part of that song. A+

mrsmagicgeek

Wait, did I read that correctly?? You've never had POUTINE???  How is that possible?  Have you never been to Canada??

Poutine is the stuff of life.  And heart attacks, but definitely life.  It's in our family oath.  Wait actually, that's maple syrup, but whatever.

I'm sending you a virtual care package from upstate NY, and you can bet your ass it would have poutine in it, if I had any.

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826

Im late to the party but I brought hugs too.  Special hugs.  From Canada, eh!

Maybe your parents will be more talkative about the wedding once the day draws nearer?  

My parents are not affectionate people.  We rarely hug or say 'I love you' but I know their love is always there.  I never had birthday parties growing up but they always tried to give me a nice cake and help me feel special on my birthday.  It's the little things.

emmaaa

Thinking of you! You're going to kill it!

KeptInStitches

Go, JC, go!

JCbride2015

foundmymagicgeek said:

Wait, did I read that correctly?? You've never had POUTINE???  How is that possible?  Have you never been to Canada??

Poutine is the stuff of life.  And heart attacks, but definitely life.  It's in our family oath.  Wait actually, that's maple syrup, but whatever.

I'm sending you a virtual care package from upstate NY, and you can bet your ass it would have poutine in it, if I had any.

@foundmymagicgeek Nope, never had poutine nor been to Canada.  My Nana's family is from PEI but we could never afford to travel up there when I was a kid, and then my last great-great-aunt up there passed away when I was in college.  I would love to do a weekend trip to Montreal, it just hasn't happened.

This year I get to start a job with both a great salary and real vacation days though, so Montreal would be a great weekend trip to take.  There's poutine in Montreal, right?

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826

Oh yes, plenty of poutine there.  And bagels!

JCbride2015

goldchocobo said:

Oh yes, plenty of poutine there.  And bagels!

Bagels?  I live in Jersey and work in NYC.  I'm not sure you'll convince me I can get better bagels in Canada.