Some of these suggestions are good, others seriously suck

ninkasi

Thanks! I thought it was an interesting gesture from the knot but wasn't sure how it came off to others. I had been scouring the boards looking for a discussion about it and finally decided to just ask whether it was okay.

NYCMercedes

ninkasi said:

Thanks! I thought it was an interesting gesture from the knot but wasn't sure how it came off to others. I had been scouring the boards looking for a discussion about it and finally decided to just ask whether it was okay.

And then TK is going to promote how much they gave to charity. Bad idea all around.

tigersgirlgv

JCbride2015 said:

MagicInk said:

I have weird feelings towards the anniversery dance thing. FI's dads have been together for 20 some odd years, but only married for the past 4 years, and only recognized by the feds as married for the past year. So..how long do they dance for? 

We have a lot of friends with long term relationships who aren't married to each other for one reason or another, or have been together forever but only briefly married because the laws have just started to change.

I also remember my friend's wedding, they did it (but no one got the bouquet, they just did the dance) and her parents had been married for 22 years so left the dance floor when the DJ announced for those who have been 25+ to keep dancing. My friend was 26. I remember a few people stopping her parents to question why they stopped dancing. Her mother (one classy broad), just smiled and said "22 happy years is still good" and gave her husband a big kiss. Some people were apparently side eyeing the fact that the brides parents weren't hitched when she was born. Huge giant eye roll here because like it fucking matters.

FBIL did a version of the anniversary dance that was intended to honor all committed couples, without the competition part.  The DJ just called up all the married, engaged, or long-term couples and they had a slow dance song.  It was sweet without being high-pressure.

Because you're right about the non-married couples thing.  Fi and I have been together for 11 years, longer than a lot of married couples have known each other.  Marriage is great, but it's not the only sign of a committed relationship.

As someone not in a relationship, that sounds like the worst. I'd rather play along with the bouquet toss with a (fake) smile on my face, or make a quick trip to the bathroom, than sit alone and watch everyone in a relationship dance. But that's just me.

Jen4948

Tonight I ended my relationship with my BF of 3 years because I'm moving across country for reasons beyond my control.  If I had to watch an "anniversary dance" right after this it would be very hurtful because I couldn't participate.

falsara

Some of the articles' reasoning's sort of rub me the wrong way.  And no to the charity thing.

TO some of the comments:   Not all couples spend a huge amount on their wedding, that's a generalization that does not hold up. 

Registries are supposed to be a guideline for gifts, should the guest CHOOSE to give the couple a gift.  And since some couples who do live together before they get married still don't have things that they need (Like a toaster), registering for said toaster or a Corelle plate set that matches, is solely because the couple would really like to either have a toaster or get rid of the chipped, and falling apart mismatched plates that they bought at a garage sale.

 

KeptInStitches

@Jen4948, hugs.

Jen4948

KeptInStitches said:

@Jen4948, hugs.

Hugs back!

Jen4948

Duplicate post

Simply Fated

Jen4948 said:

Tonight I ended my relationship with my BF of 3 years because I'm moving across country for reasons beyond my control.  If I had to watch an "anniversary dance" right after this it would be very hurtful because I couldn't participate.

I'm so sorry to hear you guys broke up.

I don't blame you. Anniversary dances can be hurtful to watch for a lot of people for different reasons.

Jen4948

Simply Fated said:

Tonight I ended my relationship with my BF of 3 years because I'm moving across country for reasons beyond my control.  If I had to watch an "anniversary dance" right after this it would be very hurtful because I couldn't participate.

I'm so sorry to hear you guys broke up. I don't blame you. Anniversary dances can be hurtful to watch for a lot of people for different reasons.

Thanks.  But yeah, people get divorced or otherwise break up, die, or even just not be interested in watching other couples dance while they can't.

Aray82

Jen4948 said:

Simply Fated said:

Tonight I ended my relationship with my BF of 3 years because I'm moving across country for reasons beyond my control.  If I had to watch an "anniversary dance" right after this it would be very hurtful because I couldn't participate.

I'm so sorry to hear you guys broke up. I don't blame you. Anniversary dances can be hurtful to watch for a lot of people for different reasons.

Thanks.  But yeah, people get divorced or otherwise break up, die, or even just not be interested in watching other couples dance while they can't.

I'm sorry, too. I hope you'll stick around here and keep posting because you give such wise advice.

All the best with your move as well--moving is always a huge pain!

I had thought about the anniversary dance as a fun idea...and then learned that a close friend and two family members who were married at the time our save-the-dates went out are now divorcing and may still be in the process at the time of our wedding. So yeah, that idea went out the window. But more time on the dance floor for everyone now!

Jen4948

Aray82 said:

Jen4948 said:

Simply Fated said:

Tonight I ended my relationship with my BF of 3 years because I'm moving across country for reasons beyond my control.  If I had to watch an "anniversary dance" right after this it would be very hurtful because I couldn't participate.

I'm so sorry to hear you guys broke up. I don't blame you. Anniversary dances can be hurtful to watch for a lot of people for different reasons.

Thanks.  But yeah, people get divorced or otherwise break up, die, or even just not be interested in watching other couples dance while they can't.

I'm sorry, too. I hope you'll stick around here and keep posting because you give such wise advice.

All the best with your move as well--moving is always a huge pain!

I had thought about the anniversary dance as a fun idea...and then learned that a close friend and two family members who were married at the time our save-the-dates went out are now divorcing and may still be in the process at the time of our wedding. So yeah, that idea went out the window. But more time on the dance floor for everyone now!

Thanks.  I like the more dance time for everyone idea.