Why you gotta be all up in his business?

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,
My son is in his early 20s. He’s smart and successful—he’s got a great job and his own place. I’ve been pretty sure since his early teens that he is gay. I asked him about it at the time, telling him that his mom and I love him unconditionally, and if that’s who he is, we totally support him. He denied it, and we never discussed it again. He seems well-adjusted—he had both male and female friends in college, but he’s never shown any interest in girls as other than platonic friends. I love him so much, and I want him to be happy! I feel part of being a complete human being is having close personal (and physical) relationships with other humans, and he has yet to have such a relationship. Is there anything I can or should do? Or should I just let him work it out on his own? Maybe I’m wrong about his orientation—but I don’t think I am.

—He Won’t Come Out

baconsmom

"He has yet to have such a relationship."

Says you, Dad. Come on, now. Do you really think your kid tells you everything? I mean, I know I called my mom up every time I banged a dude, so she wouldn't worry. *eyeroll* 

GBCK

the gaydar is also sometimes pinged by asexual. (I always hate the "well we all need to be close to other humans" thing. It's...single-shaming.) Mrs. Conn should repeat the "we love you no matter what" in a less "so, are you or aren't you?" way, and in a more "we love you, and whoever is important to you is important to us. Let u sknkow how to be there for you" sort of way

emmyg65

Or just let it go? I don't understand why this is any of the parent's business.

kerbohl

I didn't date until I was 24, and I am definitely not gay.  I've very grateful my parents didn't get all up in my business and get concerned about my lack of relationships.  Some of us like the opposite sex but want to live and experience life before we get "tied down".  Or we were to a high school with very slim pickings, then were too busy in university holding a job and getting good grades . . . these things happen.