I'm soooo lost...

jakeiaf

My fiance and I are both women so we aren't getting much financial support from anybody.. well except our bridal party (each offered to help with something.. we have some pretty great friends.) We were looking on Wedding Paper Divas for the Save The Date's, invitations, insert cards, programs, etc. A lot of these items are really expensive and I'm trying to cut as many expensive corners as possible. I just wanted to know what you lovely ladies and gentleman thought was reallyyyyy necessary because when I look at everything that I'm "supposed" to buy a lot of it just seems like a waste of paper. Also, how does everyone feel about e-vites? I read that it was not personal enough.  

AddieCake

How does your both being women factor into not getting financial support from anyone? The only thing you need are invitations and RSVPs. Save the Dates, a bunch of inserts, and programs are not at all necessary. You don't even HAVE to have paper RSVPs, but I'm in the camp that says you should. Vistaprint is a great option for affordable invitations. I feel weddings deserve paper invitations, not evites.

jakeiaf

AddieCake said:

How does your both being women factor into not getting financial support from anyone? The only thing you need are invitations and RSVPs. Save the Dates, a bunch of inserts, and programs are not at all necessary. You don't even HAVE to have paper RSVPs, but I'm in the camp that says you should. Vistaprint is a great option for affordable invitations.

There is a lack of financial support because of feelings about sexuality. Do the paper RSVP inserts come with the initiations on vistaprint? Also what do you think about an E- save the date?

CMGragain

Save the dates are relatively new.  They are not required.
If your reception and ceremony will be in the same place, you only really need an invitation.  Most people also send RSVP reply cards, but they are technically optional, too.

I second using Vistaprint.  They have lovely designs and are budget friendly.  Check your wording with us before you order, since they are not etiquette experts.  Wording doesn't change for a same sex couple.

mysticl

I ordered blank invites, insert cards, and note cards (did triple duty as RSVP cards, escort cards, and thank you notes) from invitationpaper.com and printed them myself at home (I had a photo quality printer).  I didn't bother with save the dates.  I was going to due programs on resume paper I already owned (same color as everything else I had used) but I ran out of time so I cut them.  I also used left over invitations for table numbers.  

Oh, and I managed to keep my invites light enough and normal enough shaped that I got away with sending them for the standard one ounce postage price.  Wedding invite does not automatically equal special postage.  

QueerFemme

Skip save the dates and programs. You can get an invitation set on vistaprint for about $100 or 150.

lucky2bjt

The invitation is the only really necessary paper item. I too am of the belief that a wedding deserves a paper invite. I have often received invitations without the RSVP. Just this summer the two weddings I attended did not have RSVPs. In one case because they were just inviting people they knew would attend; in another because their group just would not RSVP anyway ( I would have, haha). The inserts are only necessary if guests really need a map. I attended a wedding at a ski resort once, and that map of the resort area was necessary. I'd still be there searching without it. Just as an aside, I personally enjoy a program, because often I hear a reading and want to know source, or I don't know all the wedding party, or I forget grooms father's name.

April192002

You only have to have the invitation and you have 2 "real" options - either printed or hand written. No e-vites! Although I imagine if you're having your wedding streamed to all of your guests, rather than them physically attending, then an e-vite might be appropriate...has anyone done that? - sorry, got sidetracked.

It's nice to send out Save the Dates if it will be taking place on a holiday/major event, is a destination wedding, or if there's someone out of town who you really want to be there and they will need an advance notice for travel. Those only go out to people who you "must have" at your wedding because you are required to send them an invitation, even if your budget changes. Because Save the Dates are new, you can get away with electronic messaging, but I personally like something I can stick on my fridge and see every day.

RSVPs are nice as well because a lot of people would rather just drop something in the mailbox than write their response back or call/text/email you. If you are giving your guests a choice of food, and need to know in advance, the RSVP helps take care of that. If you don't include these it's not the end of the world but you will probably end up having to make a ton of phone calls to find out if they're coming - but you are likely have to make phone calls anyways because people will forget or it could get lost in the mail. Old school RSVPs were the guests writing a letter back accepting or declining, but that doesn't really happen much anymore. You could have them go to your wedding website to submit their response, but I would rather mail something back...or you could do both - have it noted that they can go online instead. It's even nicer when the envelope is preaddressed and stamped so all I have to do is fill it out, seal it, and drop it in the mail.

Maps and directions are only necessary if the location is hard to find or possibly if there's major construction going on and you want to suggest a better route. With a lot of people having GPS on their phone or in their car, and home internet, if it's not a hard to find place, guests can easily figure it out on their own. Oh, and if there's something like a specific parking lot/garage that they'll need to use for free parking, you should probably include a map/directions so they can easily find that specific one.

Programs are nice, but not necessary. If the guests are having any part of the ceremony, then you need to have programs to let them know what to say or do. As @lucky2bjt said, it's nice to reference for names or sources, but if you are looking at keeping the cost as low as possible, it's not a must. I personally won't be having any because FI and I are the wedding party, our guests are all family and close friends, we aren't doing music or readings, and there is no guest involvement.

Before you postage anything, make sure you take a completely put together invitation to the post office to make sure it won't require extra postage. If it does, it's better to pay it up front the first time than to have paid for it, have to redo all of the outer envelopes because it got returned, lose the first set of stamps, and then pay the extra to resend them. I'd double check the RSVPs too, if they don't fall within the letter category (go to www.usps.com, price a package, and click on the "?" next to letter, or whatever you're interested in, to see the specifications).

Vista print is decent as well as some of your local printing stores (FedEx Office, Office Depot, Staples). Stuff the like maps and programs, you could easily design yourself and have them printed in a store on cardstock (or paper that you find)...that way you don't have to make a decision immediately or have to wait for shipping.

theartistformerlyknownas

Most of the folks on here are paying for their own weddings, so that's why the financial contribution reference is a bit unnecessary. Even people receiving help from their parents or anyone else typically has a budget to stick to. 

Save the dates aren't necessary, but I was very pleased with mine from Vista Print. They were a one-color postcard with no photo, and used cheaper stamps than envelopes. Cost less than $20 for 150 of them, plus $44 in postage. I printed simple inserts at Kinkos with hotel and entree information for $6. I'll do the same for programs that I'm designing myself. Escort cards will be hand-written and don't need a design, or to match your invitation. (Lucked out with a deal on the invitations themselves, since my dad has a supplier account with them and was able to order them at cost. Otherwise, would not have been in the budget.)

ashleyep

Save the Dates aren't necessary. You can send out an email. Same thing with programs and other paper goods.

We used Wedding Paper Divas. They have a Gilt deal every few months for 50% - $25 for $50, $100 for $200, $500 for $1000. We got two to for our save the dates and invitations.

WPD drives me batty for things like escort cards and table numbers - they send you a template and it's not even printed. Why am I going to spend a bunch of money for table numbers when I still have to put it in my printer and print the number on?

I did my programs, escort cards, and table numbers myself at home.

kmmssg

Just another vote for Vistaprint.  They are incredibly affordable.  If that still squeezes our budget there are the kits you can buy at Michaels, Hobby Lobby, or Joanne Fabric.  They all throw out 40% coupons frequently which can make it incredibly affordable.

I have 4 DDs and made all of their invitations using the kits and supplementing them with matching card stock so we could do reception cards.  If you have a laser printer they look quite nice!  My last DD to get married (last month) bought 100 invitation sets for 40.00 with coupons.

You really don't need to do STDs - they are a relatively new invention by the wedding industry to get their hands on even more of your money.  I also encourage you to be very careful about sending them.  They ARE an invitation so once you send them you have to invite whomever received it.  If you aren't absolutely sure about your budget, venue size, etc I would be very cautious about sending them to people.

Skip programs - they are a waste and people will not miss  them.  One other thing to keep in mind:  Postage is really a line item in your budget.  You need postage to send your invitation and postage on the RSVP so you will have well over a dollar in postage for every invitation you send.  It is one of those sneaky things you don't think about and then wham - you have an expense you didn't expect.

ShallowSeas

I second the invitation kits at Hobby Lobby and Michael's.  Thats what we did. We bought them during a half off sale and got each box (25 invites) for $10 each.