Attire & Accessories Forum

Veil trouble

So, my mother's side of the family has an heirloom veil that gets passed around (every woman has worn it at her wedding since my great-great grandmother hand made it at the turn of the century). My grandmother cried when I asked to wear it at my own wedding and it's kind of a big deal. The last cousin to get married theoretically has the veil still. I tried asking her very nicely for it, which never even got a response. After pushing a little more forcefully, she admits to having no idea where it is! I'm not sure what to do about this. I don't want to start family drama, but I also really want to yell at her. I've got plenty of time for it to be located (2016 wedding) but I am trying to get everything figured out to get my FIL off of my back about it. How do I proceed? Do I just give up and not wear a veil? Ugh.

Re: Veil trouble

  • So your cousin who wore it last lost it?  I would ask that cousin to please try and locate it since it is a family heirloom and that you would like to up hold the tradition of wearing it.  If she cannot find it then she gets to be the one to break the news to your family.

    You are 2 years (approximately) out from your wedding.  I think it is a tad bit too early to just throw in the towel and not wear the veil.

    And I am confused how your FILs fit into this.

  • Hahah I'm confused as well. He seems to care more about the dress and things than I do, and no amount of me telling him that I have this under control makes him stop badgering me about it. It's amusing and also annoying.

    The biggest problem with my cousin is that she insists that she gave the veil back to my great-grandmother (who passed away 6 years ago). We have completely cleaned out her house and gone through every single possession that my great-grandma had and did not find the veil. My cousin also has four destructive sons, and my grandma is worried that the veil may or may not be ruined. I just needed to tell someone about it so that I could avoid an all out fight with her.
  • So your FIL is overly involved in your attire?  Odd but okay.  Next time he badgers you tell him that you have 2 years to your wedding and that finding a veil is not exactly high on your list at the moment but that you are looking into it and that you would like to no longer talk about your attire until you get much closer to your wedding date.  I would also talk to your FI about your FIL badgering and maybe have him intervene and tell his Dad to back off.

    As for your cousin I would ask her to look around her house again and to be truthful if something happened to the veil.  I am sure you aren't the only one wanting to know where the veil is.  I bet your grandmother wants to know where it is as well as other members of your family.  If something did happen to it, pieces of it could be salvaged and then used to construct another veil.

    If in the end the veil is really gone then just look into another one that may be similar in style.  If you have a decent picture of the veil you could even have a copy made by a seamstress.

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