Fiance Got Fired...

loveislouder

Yesterday.  His boss fired him.  Why? Because he refused to give in the 50 bucks that was missing from a till that he wasn't even working on.

FI is an assistant manager at a fast food place. One of the tills on his shift (he doesn't handle the tills) was short 250 bucks.  So his boss said all the managers on shift would have to give 50 bucks to cover the difference.  He called me to ask me to pull out the 50 bucks and drive it over, and I was like, awe hell no. That is illegal on so many levels - your boss can't make you pay back cash till shortages.  What does he tell me? His boss has made him do it before, anywhere from 20 to 150 bucks. I was like :O Are you serious!? So I told him he was NOT to pay it and he got fired. Well, I put my bitchy pants on, went down there with the statute from our labour laws, showed them to his boss. I told him he had literally 30 seconds to give FI his job back or I would be filing a report and a lawsuit .

Not only does FI have his job back, he also has a raise and better hours.  I filed the report anyway. But I was SO mad yesterday.  My bitchy pants get shit done.

pinkcow13

OMG I had so many emotions reading this. That is so crazy! Good for you for standing up to this jerk of a boss. I'm glad to hear it worked out for your FI in the end!

WinstonsGirl

Your bitchy pants makes me very happy.  Good for you!!  Is your FI planning on staying long term, or is he going to start looking for something else??

loveislouder

He's been looking at other jobs, but trying to find something that pays the same and makes him happier is difficult for him. FI can speak for himself, just my bitchy pants are better than his :P

cupcait927

Glad everything was able to get sorted out! That's crazy what his manager expected him to do.

theartistformerlyknownas

So many people undervalue the benefit of calling one's bluff! Glad it worked out. Your bitchy pants sound fabulous. I bet they make your butt look great.

lyndausvi

Umm, I'm normally anti-spouses and parents doing this type thing, but glad it worked out.

JoanE2012

scribe95 said:

I'm glad it worked out for you. This would not have gone over well in my relationship. My husband can speak for himself. 

Ditto this.  I'm way bitchier than my DH, but no way in hell would I do this.  I think DH would feel less of a man.  He's a grown adult, he can handle his own issues.  I'm not his mother.  Not to mention the fact that all his coworkers would probably be laughing at him behind his back.

loveislouder

Just to clarify, FI asked me to. I wouldn't have done it if he hadn't asked me.

Couggal12

I'm glad it worked out for you. So this makes me think, what would your husband's manager have done if the till was over? Does he pocket the money or does he divide it evenly between the employees who had to put in for all the shortages before? 

JoanE2012

loveislouder said:

Just to clarify, FI asked me to. I wouldn't have done it if he hadn't asked me.

Ahhh, ok.   If your FI and other shift managers have been giving money in the past, why haven't they addressed this with each other and/or the boss?  Large shortages that happen frequently aren't accidents.  Someone is stealing. 

theartistformerlyknownas

JoanE2012 said:

loveislouder said:

Just to clarify, FI asked me to. I wouldn't have done it if he hadn't asked me.

Ahhh, ok.   If your FI and other shift managers have been giving money in the past, why haven't they addressed this with each other and/or the boss?  Large shortages that happen frequently aren't accidents.  Someone is stealing. 

Would have made a great opportunity to steal before. Take $250, then be super "understanding" when boss says "hey everyone chip in $50 to make this up." Yeah man here you go! Still $200 richer.

ohannabelle

Go, bitchypants! Sometimes, those are the best pants to wear for getting things done!

loveislouder

@joane2012  This is the first time his idiot boss put it in a group text message.  No one else had menitoned it to each other because they thought they were singled out.  I know what you're thinking, why hadn't anyone said anything.  I have zero idea.  It doesn't make sense to me either.

Ndelible

Sounds like the manager was pocketing that money.

lyndausvi

Ndelible said:

Sounds like the manager was pocketing that money.

A $250 loss warrants an investigation, not a group text for everyone to pony up the cash.     Sometimes doesn't sound right here.  

You said it was fast food.  Can I assume an national or international company? Is the boss the independent owner?   if no, contact the owner.    If it's not independent or the boss is the owner I would contact corporate.  The quick raise and better hours smells like a coverup.  

OnionBreath

That is totally inappropriate.

QueerFemme

It's total BS for his boss to demand money from the managers to cover the loss. But, it is absolutely ridiculous that your FI can't speak up for himself in a way that doesn't make him look like a snivling child that had to have his girlfriend/mommy speak up for him.  I can't even imagine the shit talking his co-workers will be doing now.   

He needs to look for another job because his boss is an ass, but also, because he will likely never live this down.  I can't imagine his employees thinking very highly of his authority once they all hear about this.

lyndausvi

QueerFemme said:

It's total BS for his boss to demand money from the managers to cover the loss. But, it is absolutely ridiculous that your FI can't speak up for himself in a way that doesn't make him look like a snivling child that had to have his girlfriend/mommy speak up for him.  I can't even imagine the shit talking his co-workers will be doing now.   

He needs to look for another job because his boss is an ass, but also, because he will likely never live this down.  I can't imagine his employees thinking very highly of his authority once they all hear about this.

you mean you wouldn't give as much respect to someone who's mommy or wife comes in and fights their battles?

Yeah, me neither.   

Don't get me wrong when DH was wrongfully fired I did all the research and then gave it all to DH.  He was the one who decided on his own what to do with that information.   In his case he felt even if he did get the job back he would never think of the place the same.   It was a great choice because we are now in a much better place with a much better job.   The company he was fired from isn't doing to good and lots of others have been let go or quit.

loveislouder

Okay, I understand some of you think what I did was wrong. But what would you have done in a situation where your partner couldn't/wouldn't stand up for themselves? I look at this as a type of abusive situation. Someone stole money, pay the money or threat of termination. It's a vicious cycle that goes down often. If no one is going to say anything, why let it continue? I'm not trying to raise shit here, it's a legitimate question.

manateehugger

loveislouder said:

Okay, I understand some of you think what I did was wrong. But what would you have done in a situation where your partner couldn't/wouldn't stand up for themselves? I look at this as a type of abusive situation. Someone stole money, pay the money or threat of termination. It's a vicious cycle that goes down often. If no one is going to say anything, why let it continue? I'm not trying to raise shit here, it's a legitimate question.

I would have discussed it with H, done my own research and showed it to him, explored his reasoning for not wanting to stand up for himself and have a conversation about it. I never in a million years would have stormed into an office I don't work in and confronted a supervisor I don't work for on  behalf of my husband.

Can you imagine how that makes him look to his coworkers, subordinates, and supervisors - that he can't even handle a confrontational but appropriate conversation with his employers? It makes him look weak, irresponsible, and immature (or at least, that's what I'd be thinking).

I worked in my undergrad university's student conduct office; the parents who called to try to solve their kids' problems always had the most ridiculous and poorly adjusted students. How will anyone ever learn to stand up for themselves if someone else always does it for them?

This will not help break this "vicious cycle" - if anything, you've opened him up to ridicule and judgment, I think.

Ndelible

Work is a very personal thing. I know that sounds a bit weird, but it is where we spend a good chunk of our lives. I would never call up a SO's work/boss/supervisor. I would talk directly with my SO. It is their decision how to handle it. It is their career; not mine. I might have very strong thoughts on how I think things should go, but ultimately their decision and their tango to dance. I would be furious if my SO took it on themselves to negotiate, tell on or threaten my employer.

QueerFemme

loveislouder said:

Okay, I understand some of you think what I did was wrong. But what would you have done in a situation where your partner couldn't/wouldn't stand up for themselves? I look at this as a type of abusive situation. Someone stole money, pay the money or threat of termination. It's a vicious cycle that goes down often. If no one is going to say anything, why let it continue? I'm not trying to raise shit here, it's a legitimate question.

I probably would have done the research for him. And coached him through how to talk to his boss.  If they decided they wouldn't stand up for their own benefit, I would have serious issues with them.  

If my partner was being beat up, sure, I'd step in.  If my partner was too immature to advocate for themselves in the workplace, and was ok paying probably 3-5 hours of their salary for something they didn't do, I'd seriously wonder how they were going to handle any other conflict in their lives.

You may have temporarily saved his job.  But, you severely undermined any authority he had at that place.  You didn't help deter a vicious circle.  You just created another one.  One where he knows he doesn't actually have to be a grown-up. 

jdluvr06

loveislouder said:

Just to clarify, FI asked me to. I wouldn't have done it if he hadn't asked me.

SITB: Bolded that part just in case everyone missed it. Her FI asked her to help him. If my FI asked me to do something like that for him I probably would.

@loveislouder it sounds like someone is pocketing the money.

Ndelible

I would have serious issues with my SO could not handle his shit and asked me to do it for him. And I would hope vice versa.

QueerFemme

I still wouldn't do it if my partner asked. I'd help research and help him prepare, but no way I'd talk to my spouse's boss.

chibiyui

Whats done is done. I think your FI should look for a new job. Even if nothing changes at his job, it was obviously a shitty boss to work for. If stuff does change for the worse, better to get a start on it now then be forced out or fired again (esp. if you live in a work at will state) If he wants to stay at his current job in the end, it never hurts to look.

mysticl

loveislouder said:

@joane2012  This is the first time his idiot boss put it in a group text message.  No one else had menitoned it to each other because they thought they were singled out.  I know what you're thinking, why hadn't anyone said anything.  I have zero idea.  It doesn't make sense to me either.

They didn't say anything because they were afraid of losing their jobs and it was clearly a valid fear.  I second the theory that maybe the boss is the one shorting the till, otherwise you would think there would be some sort of investigation to figure out who is stealing or seriously sucks at making change.

afox007

In defense of @loveislouder‌ and her FI I have asked the same thing of Fi. We worked together and got a TON of shit for taking time off for an important doctor appointment if mine. Our manager lost his shit because two of us didn't need to be out because of my medical condition. I was a total pushover with this manager and had FI go raise hell for us with research I provided.

Back to the OP I have had similar issues regarding illegal payouts at the restaurant I work for. The owner tries taking it out of our check of we mess up/the kitchen messes up/the customer doesn't like it. I have started documenting each incident; though in a few cases I just split the check pay for the fuck up and eat it.

AddieCake

I, too, am curious why YOU went to the boss with the info as opposed to HIM going to the boss with the info. It's great that you helped, but to be the one to actually confront the boss seems odd to me.

 I also am struggling with believing he asked you to do it b/c that was not part of your original post, and his initial reaction was to ask you to bring money. And he told you he has paid in before. And then it was YOUR idea to say no. Then he got fired and suddenly it is HIS idea to gather info and stand up to the boss he has never stood up to before? And when the info is gathered it still isn't him who does the standing up?

ETA: And if I worked there as a regular employee and he was my manager, I would now have a hard time taking him seriously as my boss if I found out his fiance had to come in and yell at the bigger boss for him. 

LDay2014

FI often has issues with management at his company...and I come from a position/industry that specializes in giving people shit while being cool, calm, collected, and INFORMED.

Usually, he will come home and lose his shit, ranting and raving about what happened and after he's vented, we discuss it.  We talk it through and role play how to direct the conversation the next day.  FI is very emotionally connected and looses sight of logic when he's really invested in something.  We work together to find the words, examples, and solutions that work best and then he takes that with him the next day.

It's his job, not mine.  I'm not his mom and it's not my responsibility to bulldoze a clear path for him but you bet your ass I will support him and help him find a clearer (less emotional) solution.