What did/are you doing with your OOT guests?

sarawifenow

So we are just over 2 1/2 months out and being the OCD planner that I am, I am starting to wonder about fun things to do with our OOT guests. FBIL and FSIL just booked their tickets (first ones! woohoo!) and I know FMIL and the rest of the ILs will be booking soon.

 

They will be coming in on a Thursday morning (our wedding is on a Saturday), so we will have two days with them. Rehearsal and RD will be on Friday. I am looking for fun and inexpensive things to do on Thursday and Friday. What are you all doing with your guests? Any suggestions?

emmyg65

My mother hosted a casual get together at my grandmother's house for our family on the Friday before our Saturday wedding. My  husband's family did the same. We also spent some time on Friday afternoon setting up the wedding area (it was at my in-laws' house) and my future sisters-in-law took me out to get mani/pedis, which was a really sweet gesture.

sarawifenow

Mani/pedis sound amazing and I would love to bond with my FSILs (going from an only child to having 7 sibling ILs!!). I do wonder, however, if I pose the idea of getting this done, am I technically hosting and responsible for paying?

theartistformerlyknownas

Uhhh... nothing. I have no idea when anyone is planning on getting into town. I gave suggestions of things they could do on our wedding website (zoo, breweries, baseball game, shopping) but they're on their own. Aside from WP members and their families, who will of course be at the RD on Friday. I may try to get together for mani/pedis with my BMs, but not the out of towners.

SmileDamnit

lolo883 said:

Uhhh... nothing. I have no idea when anyone is planning on getting into town. I gave suggestions of things they could do on our wedding website (zoo, breweries, baseball game, shopping) but they're on their own. Aside from WP members and their families, who will of course be at the RD on Friday. I may try to get together for mani/pedis with my BMs, but not the out of towners.

This is exactly what we did. You're going to have far too much on your plate to be responsible for entertaining everyone so just compile a list of fun stuff to do and let them at it as they choose.

smalfrie19

lolo883 said:

Uhhh... nothing. I have no idea when anyone is planning on getting into town. I gave suggestions of things they could do on our wedding website (zoo, breweries, baseball game, shopping) but they're on their own. Aside from WP members and their families, who will of course be at the RD on Friday. I may try to get together for mani/pedis with my BMs, but not the out of towners.

this. 

Maggie0829

Yeah I would just suggest some things for people to do and then leave it at that.  If when people get in and then call you, you can certainly say "oh we can meet you for a drink" but other then that trying to plan things when people may be getting in at all hours of the day could be tricky.

amakayeb

SaraBrideSoon said:

Mani/pedis sound amazing and I would love to bond with my FSILs (going from an only child to having 7 sibling ILs!!). I do wonder, however, if I pose the idea of getting this done, am I technically hosting and responsible for paying?

I just said that my sister and I were going, and anyone who wanted to also come and get their nails done was welcome to join us. Nobody expected that I would also pay.

manateehugger

lolo883 said:

Uhhh... nothing. I have no idea when anyone is planning on getting into town. I gave suggestions of things they could do on our wedding website (zoo, breweries, baseball game, shopping) but they're on their own. Aside from WP members and their families, who will of course be at the RD on Friday. I may try to get together for mani/pedis with my BMs, but not the out of towners.

Yeah, pretty much this. 

A lot of my family came in Thursday, so my mother hosted a kind of pre-rehearsal dinner dinner for just her side of the family that night. 

Friday, I got breakfast with family in town and then sent them off with a list of suggestions. My BMs, my mom, and MIL then did lunch and nails. Then it was rehearsal/rehearsal dinner time where I hugged and said hi to all the other OOT people. 

I don't think I was ever too overloaded or stressed the wedding weekend, but trying to plan activities or even participate in them would have been the last things I wanted to do. It's way too much. 

sarawifenow

See this is why I love you all. I would have been trying to plan activities the entire time they were here. Then I would be on TK starting a thread about how I was losing my mind right before my wedding!

 

I'll be sure to look up some fun stuff and then send them on their way.

jenna8984

I have my best friend from across the coutry flying in. I paid for her flights and she will be staying at my house, and I'll be paying for all her food and activities for the weekend in return for her to be the photographer. So I'm picking her up Thursday at noon from the airport and showing her all around Boston for the afternoon since she's never been here. Then Friday I plan to take her to Newport, RI and show her around the famous mansions and ocean so it feels more like a vacation for her and hanging out with me and not just like I wanted her here to work.

My parents will be flying in as well and I'll have dinner with them Friday when we get back from Newport but I don't really need to entertain them since they'll be staying at my brother's and playing with his children.

That probably doesn't help you since you have a lot of people coming in and I only have 1. But I do think it's nice if you take at least a few hours out of your day for them. I traveled to Cancun to a friend's wedding and out of a week I got to see her maybe 2 hours aside from the wedding. I did feel a little jipped that she was at the same resort as us for 6 days and couldn't take time to hang at the pool with us. So I would try to at least do dinner Thursday with them as well if I were you.

sarawifenow

@jenna8984, I really appreciate that perspective. I know that I want to spend some time with them, especially since they are all over the country and rarely in the same room together. I'll talk with FI to see if there is anything in particular he would enjoy doing.

lyndausvi

We had rented a HUGE beach house.  

 Wednesday - cousin and her husband, aunt and her companion, my parents and us were in town.  We went out to dinner.   Everyone assumed we were going dutch, Then my dad asked for the check, but DH and I got it first.  (living in the islands the tab was "cheap" to us, so we paid).  

Thursday - DH cooked dinner for 50 people at the house.  It BBQ/buffet style.     Those 50 people included all my parent's friends who flew in early and all my siblings and their families and some WP who made it down early.

Friday - All the men (some 40 of them) had a golf tournament.   Mom, sister, nieces, BFF all got our nails done.  Afterwards my SILs and nephews met us for lunch which I picked up the tab.   Most of the other guests just went to the beach or hotel pool.

 

Friday night - after the rehearsal we invited the entire guest list to an open house at the house starting after 8pm.   We had a bar setup and food catered from a local deli.  Some people had just flown in so they made a meal of the food.  Most people already ate and just snacked.  About 100+ people came.

theartistformerlyknownas

I guess I would be annoyed if I went to a DW and didn't see the couple outside of the wedding - if you insist I make this my vacation with/for you, I better see you. But FI and I live here, and we've got shit to do. Hopefully nobody feels slighted.

Alikat9614

Our OOT guest are mainly family, or friends staying with their families. That said, most of the OOT guests are driving in the Saturday morning (many have 6 hour or less drive) of the wedding and leaving Sunday after my mom hosts a brunch at the hotel. She just informed me of said brunch yesterday, knowing FI and I will already be en route to Disney. So we don't really have much in the way of plans.

FiancB

I really wanted to do stuff with my friends and family coming out, but there was just no time. One BM got here on Wednesday before the wedding and stayed with me, the other got here on Friday and it was fun to at least spend time with them, but I felt bad that I couldn't take them places. I did go to the Mall of America and out to the barn with my family the day after, but I was also about ready to kill them. Went to breakfast the next morning as well. 

But yeah, i wouldn't overplan. It's amazing how fast all your time disappears the week of the wedding. Maybe you're more organized than me though. 

Simky906

My immediate family is getting into town Wednesday so we plan to have dinner with them that night. Thursday afternoon SIL and I are taking my nieces to the American Girl doll store for lunch and to pick out their gift and that night we'll have dinner with FI's parents and drinks with my MOH since it's her birthday. Friday night is the rehearsal dinner and all the OOT family is invited. Which now seems to be a slightly excessive amount of plans, so we'll see how that goes. We shouldn't have much to do that week as far as final wedding details go as long as I stick to my current schedule.

kbsmom1

KB s wedding was in New Orleans. At check in Oot guests had welcome bags with local goodies/ maps/ restaurant suggestions/ places that would be fun to visit and bars. Had an informal Thurs night dinner followed by visit to The Quarter. So guests had lots to pick from as far as fun things to do on their own and with b/ g.. Also guys invited to a water air boat trip while bms had luncheon. Others not in wedding party went shopping as that info was included. After rehearsal, group trip to Quarter. Everyone paid their own way. So everyone had things to be involved in with the bride/ groom and on their own.

JoanE2012

Our OOT guests drove in the same day of the wedding. We hosted a breakfast the following morning. I really didn't want to be bothered with having to do anything social in the days leading up to the wedding. We didn't even have a rehearsal/dinner. It was nice having that time to relax beforehand without the pressure of hosting people.

Senecaf

I have no plans. I'll be busy as heck. We will have welcome bags at the hotel with suggestions as well as on the website. There are festicals oftwr around here and wedding weekend happens to be a beer fest. That sounds like a good time to me!

My mom and step dad are OOT and will be staying with me and helping me out so I'll spend a lot of time with them. My dad will probably be cooking out for his side and my Grand ma will be hosting my mom's side at her house so I'm sure she will entertain them somehow.

mysticl

We got married on a Saturday.  My parents came in Thursday afternoon and we met them for dinner.  My MOH came in the evening and she and I did wedding stuff after dinner.  Friday my mom, MOH, and I did wedding errands in the morning.  At some point MIL went by DH's house and then offered to stay longer after the wedding to clean it for him (she has very high cleaning/decor standards and will just start cleaning and arranging your home to suit her needs/taste).  Friday night was the rehearsal and RD.  Then DH went out for a few drinks with a couple of the guys and MOH and I did centerpieces.  We had a noon wedding with lunch reception.  All of DH's family stayed at the same hotel and they were partying so we stopped by for an hour or so to see them.  Sunday DH took some of his family on a tour of the aircraft carrier he served on at the time and then he and I had a late lunch with my parents.  

lc07

Our wedding was on a Sunday and at least 80% of our guests were OOT or Out of Country. Our Out of Country guests did their own thing - hit vegas, came back to our town and did Seaworld with their kids etc. Most everyone was in town by Friday. Everyone still did their own thing but would meet up at the hotel bar in the evening by word of mouth. Welcome party was Saturday night. Wedding was Sunday. Word of mouth brunch and sending people off on Monday. 

Personally, I'm not a fan of lots of scheduled daytime events for wedding weekends. 

beethery

We are about 14 months out but my dad is already planning a BBQ menu, so we'll probably have a big BBQ thing and hang out for a while. Low-key kind of shit. I think a good bit of my OOT family members are going to be staying with my parents when the time comes.

I just remember about 10 years ago we had everyone up for Christmas, and at one point we had 17 people sleeping there. It was kind of nuts but we had a good time.

Luckily I don't live there anymore lol