Wedding Woes

No Friends and it's hitting me

I don't know why but tonight I have seemed to hit major crisis with only 4 months until the wedding. I realized that other then 1 person no one coming to my wedding is actually my friend, it is either family, parents friends or his friends. When my fiancé and I got together I was in a major party/get drunk/be a fool stage and when I realized I wanted to settle down I decided to let the 4am drunken party/making out with drummers/going to vegas on a whim stage was done, which I really had no problem letting go with and honestly haven't thought about it in 3 years since we have been together. However tonight I was realizing I wouldn't have anyone to calm my nerves before the wedding, no one to help me get dressed, no one to really hug after, no one to gossip with during the reception, nothing. Just a lot of polite hugs and thank you's. I guess I am just seeing if anyone else is in the same boat as me? I am marrying the man of my dream and would give up oxygen for but am a little sad that I don't have a maid of honor, no one to throw me an engagement or shower party, no one to get my nails done with. I have tried befriending his friends girlfriends/wives but it' s hard to really connect, my mother is doing her best but she is still my mother not a best friend and my sister is way to into her career to put much effort into my wedding. Anyone else out there feeling like the happiest day of their life may be the loneliest?

Re: No Friends and it's hitting me

  • MegEn1MegEn1 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    Hey hun,

    I'm kind of with you. While my FI and I share a lot of friends after being together for three years, most of the friends are technically his. While I've tried to connect with the wives, I never really built my own relationships there. I was even tearing my hair out trying to find bridesmaids - I just don't have a lot of friends of my own. I'm still a little worried about toasts, because I don't know who would/could give one on my behalf, while I know my FI will have at least one or two. 

    I don't know how I'll feel come that day. 

    But I do know that right now I think a lot about becoming part of his family. My mother passed, my father and I aren't close. I love my grandmother, and am so very excited that she'll be there. I'll have some friends there (took me ages to figure out my BM situation, basically I'm going to invite my closest friend from each stage of my life, even if we aren't so close right now) but mostly it will be about me joining with FI. 

    Achievement Unlocked: Survived Your Wedding! 
  • I know how you feel. I have not been good about retaining my friendships from high school and college, and when I wanted to make new friends after college, I felt like everyone already had their group of friends. I am friendly with my FI's friends' girlfriends/fiances, but I am only having one friend come to the wedding too. Do you have close cousins or sisters? My two sisters and my best friend are my bridesmaids, but sometimes I think it would be nice to have friends around to do the fun girly bride things. My plan is to focus on my FI the day of the wedding, and not worry about the friends thing.
  • lc07lc07 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    emz101 said:
    I don't know why but tonight I have seemed to hit major crisis with only 4 months until the wedding. I realized that other then 1 person no one coming to my wedding is actually my friend, it is either family, parents friends or his friends. When my fiancé and I got together I was in a major party/get drunk/be a fool stage and when I realized I wanted to settle down I decided to let the 4am drunken party/making out with drummers/going to vegas on a whim stage was done, which I really had no problem letting go with and honestly haven't thought about it in 3 years since we have been together. However tonight I was realizing I wouldn't have anyone to calm my nerves before the wedding, no one to help me get dressed, no one to really hug after, no one to gossip with during the reception, nothing. Just a lot of polite hugs and thank you's. I guess I am just seeing if anyone else is in the same boat as me? I am marrying the man of my dream and would give up oxygen for but am a little sad that I don't have a maid of honor, no one to throw me an engagement or shower party, no one to get my nails done with. I have tried befriending his friends girlfriends/wives but it' s hard to really connect, my mother is doing her best but she is still my mother not a best friend and my sister is way to into her career to put much effort into my wedding. Anyone else out there feeling like the happiest day of their life may be the loneliest?



    STUCK IN THE DAMN BOOOOXXXX

    I'm sorry you're feeling lonely, OP. I felt lonely during my wedding planning, but for different reasons. Anyway, I know it sucks. But serious question and I don't mean to sound judgmental - why has this not come up for you in the past 3 years? Why now all of a sudden? Didn't you miss having friends over the past 3 years? I'm confused.

    Regardless, I think this is a good thing that you are realizing that you are missing having friends. And while you may not be forming amazing friendships "in time" for the wedding, I think it's time to focus on your own friendships in life. And they don't have to be your FI's SOs.
  • Man, I relate. And don't worry about not having a ton of friends, I've actually found that a lot of girls I know are like this. I just have my sisters but they don't really make great bridesmaids. On that day, just focus on how you're committing to a lifetime with the love of your life. Nothing about that day will be lonely. Just focus on the positive and friendships will come eventually.
  • I completely understand how you feel. I have always been the same way. I have built a few close girlfriend relationships in my life and somehow managed to either stop talking to them or have some form of falling out. I think the only time in my life, I felt like I had a large quantity of friends was when I spent every night of the week out drinking. While I loved that short time period in my life, it is not how I want to spend all of my time. I honestly can say that I do not really know how to have friends who are girls anymore. I am 25 years old and my best friend is my Fiance, and any friends whom I do have are friends of his. They are not really people that I text or converse with, without him.  
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • OMG, other people like me!! I'm sorry you're worried you'll be lonely on your wedding day... I know I will probably feel the same way. I hardly have any female friends, but my fiance also doesn't have a lot of friends (male or female). sigh.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards