Shower Invite - etiquette assistance needed!

mkjpop

Hi ladies. I'm the MOH in my brother's upcoming wedding and I have an etiquette question for all of you. My (male) cousin is separated from his wife, though they are not yet divorced. From what I can gather, this is not a friendly separation and it's going to get nasty. Do I invite his soon to be ex-wife and her daughter from a previous relationship to the shower? I'm leaning toward "yes" as to not offend and make a bad situation worse, but I wanted to hear your thoughts. TY!

manateehugger

What does you FSIL think? Is your FSIL close to this lady? If not, do not invite her. 

Personally, I think it would be super odd to have my H's cousin's soon to be ex wife at my shower. 

ETA: Also, will this woman and her daughter be invited to the wedding? If not, that's your answer right there. 

melbelleup

I would vote no, but ask your FSIL her opinion.

PrettyGirlLost

I'd vote no as well, but ask your FSIL her preference.

southernbelle0915

Will she be invited to the wedding? I'm assuming if it's a nasty divorce and the cousin is family, she wouldn't be.

People who aren't invited to the wedding don't get invited to wedding-related events. Hopefully that solves your problem.

NYCMercedes

Do you have a relationship with this woman, independent of in-laws? If not, I can't imagine she should be invited.

tigersgirlgv

I wouldn't, but I probably wouldn't even if they weren't getting divorced, unless you were super close. We invited some local female cousins to my sister's shower, but not any of our male cousins' SOs, even though they were invited to the wedding. If you don't have a relationship with her outside of her being married to your cousin, I wouldn't invite her. Showers are for your nearest and dearest, not every female on the guest list (and will she still be on the guest list for the wedding? If not, do not invite her to the shower)!

MairePoppy

I wouldn't invite them unless your FSIL is close to them.