No bridal party...

emster86

So my fiance and I have agreed not to have a bridal party. We don't want people to feel like they need to buy a dress/suit etc.. and honestly it's a lot less drama just saying we "aren't having a bridal party" than "choosing" people and having hurt feelings. My best friend is helping a lot though, with bridal shop trips, crafts etc.. She'll be helping the day of and she knows she's the "unofficial" Maid of Honor. She's technically the whole bridal party.. even though we technically don't have one.. (if that makes sense).. I'd like to make her feel a little more special since she's helping so much and such an incredible person. Any thoughts on what I could do to make sure she feels special? I'm thinking maybe corsages for the mom's at the wedding and having her wear one too? Also just some small gifts along the way.. Tips? Ideas? Thanks so much!

CMGragain

emster86 said:

So my fiance and I have agreed not to have a bridal party. We don't want people to feel like they need to buy a dress/suit etc.. and honestly it's a lot less drama just saying we "aren't having a bridal party" than "choosing" people and having hurt feelings. My best friend is helping a lot though, with bridal shop trips, crafts etc.. She'll be helping the day of and she knows she's the "unofficial" Maid of Honor. She's technically the whole bridal party.. even though we technically don't have one.. (if that makes sense).. I'd like to make her feel a little more special since she's helping so much and such an incredible person. Any thoughts on what I could do to make sure she feels special? I'm thinking maybe corsages for the mom's at the wedding and having her wear one too? Also just some small gifts along the way.. Tips? Ideas? Thanks so much!

I don't understand the bolded.  Did you ask her to be your MOH?  If you did, then she is, and she IS your bridal party.  There is no such thing as "an unofficial Maid of Honor.

Her duties would be to show up in a dress (You can give her a color if you wish.), stand next to you as you say your vows, hold your bouquet during the ring exchange, and to smile for the camera.  That is all.  You might ask her to sign the marriage certificat3e as a witness, too, but this is optional.

Buy her a corsage or bouquet.  You have a bridal party.

emmyg65

Both your ideas are good ones. Our situation was pretty much exactly like yours (no bridal party, but my best friend volunteered to do a bunch of stuff). We had her do a reading during our ceremony. She and I also got ready together that morning. I sent her a thank you gift with a heartfelt letter after the wedding. Mostly, I just hugged her and said, "I love you. Thank you for being here for me."

emster86

Thank you. We aren't having anyone stand up with us, so we don't really have a bridal party. She's just my best friend and will be getting ready with me the day of, helping with crafts and flowers etc.. I just want to make sure she feels thanked and appreciated. 

Lauderdale Pink

I like the ideas you already have.  Maybe as a nice addition, somebody could include her in a toast or make a special toast to this lady for her wonderful support.

atlastmrsg

Write her a nice note and give her a thoughtful thank you present for her help.  But don't start calling it "unofficial maid of honor" or anything like that because then you're perpetuating what you think you're avoiding.

Knottie15314536

Hi!

That's really wonderful that you have a friend who is taking on all of these responsibilities throughout! Without a doubt, the wedding planning and "unoffical" bridesmaid role is going to be busy and at times - stressful! Perhaps small reminders throughout the process - like a massage day / nails together / etc. -  will keep both you and her energized and going strong!

emster86

Thank you for all of the ideas! I like the idea of a little pampering just for the two of us.

csuave

atlastmrsg said:

Write her a nice note and give her a thoughtful thank you present for her help.  But don't start calling it "unofficial maid of honor" or anything like that because then you're perpetuating what you think you're avoiding.

SIB:  I agree with this.  Also, in case you didn't think of it yet, put photos of the two of you together on the list of photos you want your photographer to take.  These can easily be done before the ceremony. 

emster86

I already had some photo ideas. Thank you