How did you decide on your dress? My own indecisive moment.

missdelilah

I ask this because I'm a big indecisive mess at the moment.  I have real difficulty imagining what a tightly pinned size 20 will actually look like after I order a size 8 and have it fitted.  I feel as though I should make a decision this week, as I'm a little worried about the time frame (alterations have to be complete by the beginning of February).  I've mentioned before in various threads that I don't believe in "the" dress, at least not as far as I'm concerned.  There are any number of dresses that are beautiful and would work perfectly well for every bride.  All that said, I've narrowed it down to two dresses that are completely different, and (I think) would look great when all is said and done.  To be honest, I'm finding working out which styles will suit me easier based on the designer photos, rather than trying on the way too large gowns.  Not because I look like the models at all, but simply based on their similarities to other dresses I own or off the rack products I've tried on.  

I'm really heavily leaning towards a dress that has a very low back.  I know that this dress will work for me.  My only reservation is that it's possibly too sexy for the occasion.  It's probably going to be the more comfortable option, as it's likely to be extremely hot.  Do you other ladies have any thoughts on this?  

How did you decide on your dress?  Did you really know it was "the" dress, or was it more a matter of, "this dress looks/will look great!"?  I'd love to hear what your decision process was like.

AddieCake

When I put it on, I never wanted to take it off, and one of my bridesmaids made this sort of gasping noise.

missdelilah

@AddieCake Your dress looks stunning on you.  Unfortunately I don't have any ladies to go shopping with here, which I think would make the process a lot easier.  

AddieCake

Thank you. And I'm sorry you don't have anyone to go with you! do you have pics of yourself in the dresses we could see and help you decide?

missdelilah

Unfortunately not.  The boutique that had it in stock doesn't allow photos.  A giant pain in the behind for me because I'd really love the opinions of my MOBs and BMs.  Not even a mirror in the dressing room for a sneaky selfie.  The general consensus based on the designer photos is positive, although one MOB says she likes the dress, but isn't generally in to brides showing a lot skin, but attributes that to be old-fashioned.  Everyone else preferred it to the more conservative one that I love.  Here's the more traditional one.  If I had the money, I'd buy them both and find come up with some pretension to change at some point.  Here's the second dress I loved:

ElcaB

I love the first dress. 

I was debating between two dresses I loved for very different reasons. One of them was a sample that had been discontinued & so I thought to myself, "If I went back to that store to buy that dress and someone had already bought it off the rack, how would I feel?" I knew I'd be disappointed, so I went and bought it immediately. 

emmaaa

When I put my dress on I felt amazing in it. I knew that my FI would love it. I never wanted to take it off either.

IMO, I like the first dress better. Is your wedding in a church or somewhere else?

bmydesigner

I knew it was the dress I wanted the moment I tried it on. You should choose the dress that makes you feel the most happy, one that looks good and you feel comfortable in! Good luck

Maggie0829

When I put the dress on I was comfortable and happy and felt like me.  It also helped that the handful of people in the salon were all gathered around and oohing and ahhing over it.  What sealed the deal for me was when my consultant put the warp around headpiece on my head.  At that moment I knew that I found my dress.

I don't think you could go wrong with either dress.  I am confused as to why you aren't trying these dresses on?  Typically the sample sizes in a salon are between 6-10 so I don't see how you would be trying on a size 20 and then having it pinned tightly.

ETA:  if I had to choose between the two I would pick the first one mainly because it is more my style.

MandyMost

Are you planning to wear a veil (or could you be convinced to wear a veil)? If so, that will cover your bare back and perhaps make you much more comfortable in the first dress. (Personally I vote for #1 also, veil or not, but the most important thing is that you are comfortable).

missdelilah

Thanks ladies! I think I just needed some reassurance. 

@emmaaa The wedding isn't in a church, and I can only think of one invitee who would be remotely scandalized by it. I started out with an idea of going with quite a traditional look for the whole thing, but the moment I became a little AWish and decided to decorate with my quilts (well, none of my Australian friends ever get to see them!) that went out the window. So all the decorations (which are currently in pieces in my sewing room) are going to be bright and modern. 

@maggie0829 I have no idea why the stores I've visited have such large samples. Is it something to do with the designer? I've found samples that almost fitted, but none by this company. And I've certainly read rants from other brides about tiny sample dresses. The issue with both of these dresses in terms of the sample size is that they both have quite a solid, boned, bodice underneath. That really throws the look off. But seeing as it's been thirteen years since I bought my first fancy dress, I'm pretty confident at looking at something in a picture and knowing whether the style will suit or not, and I've bought a lot of my dresses online without seeing them in person. The only question I have about the backless dress is how far down the back will come. I'm 5'10" and have a long torso. I don't want it hitting somewhere really strange. 

 

@MandyMost I was thinking of adding a veil, so at least I won't feel so exposed, and said one guest will feel less scandalized. I just loved the elegance the elegance of the second dress, but the first dress is much more my style. 

Here are some hastily edited photos of me in my favorite ever dress (I felt it rude to post pics of my friends without first contacting them). My apologies for not having the skills to edit them more clearly. They're here really just as an example of something that I loved, and me wearing it. They're (gasp!) almost seven years old. I'm about ten pounds lighter now (medical condition) and definitely physically fitter. Looking back at these I'm really sure that the first dress is the right choice. Thanks again for your help!

emmaaa

I really don't think the back is too low or revealing at all then. Even if it was in a church you could pull it off with a nice veil. Go for it!

missdelilah

Thanks @emmaaa!

raissyrais

@missdelilah I absolutely love the first one, it's so regal! Listen to PPs, they have great advice

missdelilah

Indeed they do, @raissyrais!

theartistformerlyknownas

Definitely get the first dress. Partially because based on your pics you'll look AMAZING in it, and partially because it's the one I wanted but my salon wasn't getting it in stock for another few weeks and I was in full-blown ALLDECISIONSNOW mode. 

For me, I made my decision based on the full package. I was torn between two dresses, but liked the overall look of one more than the other once I had a different sash and veil on. My FI's grandma REALLY wanted me in something with little sleeves, and I was willing to accommodate that to a certain degree, but ended up in strapless. A veil with a nice thick edge of lace on it did the trick to make my shoulders feel a bit more covered. 

missdelilah

Thank you @lolo883!  What a coincidence that we both wanted it.  What did you end up going with?  It's kind of you to accommodate your grandmother's wishes.  I just wanted some feedback from my MOBs, but at least no one gave me specifics.  

I'd like to thank everyone who weighed in on this thread.  I ordered the dress this afternoon.

theartistformerlyknownas

WOOHOO! Congrats on ordering it! I got this one, Allure 9117 plus an added sash. (Still a little tight; in alterations now.)

missdelilah

@lolo883 It's gorgeous!  You look wonderful!  I absolutely love that sash!  I really wanted a dress that would work with a sash, but then decided that was a silly idea.  I just fell in love with one that was really similar to yours.  

theartistformerlyknownas

missdelilah said:

@lolo883 It's gorgeous!  You look wonderful!  I absolutely love that sash!  I really wanted a dress that would work with a sash, but then decided that was a silly idea.  I just fell in love with one that was really similar to yours.  

Thank you!!!

mrscomposer

I had to decide between two completely different dresses also - one was an Oleg Cassini ballgown, and the other a Melissa Sweet tulle sheath.  I ended up going with the sheath because it matched the feeling of our wedding better, with more romance and whimsy than the "rawr, I'm a bride" dress (which was gorgeous and amazing and I still kinda want it to wear around the house).

I didn't really believe in "the dress" either - I knew I had to walk out with a dress that day, due to limited timing, so I was being very pragmatic about finding something.  What clinched it, though, was imagining wearing the dress with my new husband beside me, my dad in his dress uniform walking me down the aisle, the way our hall is going to look, etc.  Then I started crying, and looked behind me in the mirror to see that everyone I was with was crying also

Also - I didn't like the way it looked until I put a sash on

theexactlee

I tried on like 30 dresses, seriously. Mine wasn't for a wedding, it was for a vow renewal. So I had this nagging in my ear that said "Some things are not appropriate for a vow renewal no matter how much you love them". So I was back and forth between a few gowns. Finally I went to Alfred Angelo and tried a couple and the consultant brought one in that she thought I'd look great in. I tried it on and about melted. It was perfect. Perfect for the event, perfect for my body. Everyone loved it. Also, it covers my back fat. I will say that the sample size was a 22 or 24 or something and I'm an 18. 

decembergrl2014

I didn't plan on it, but I got my dress in one store, in one day. I tried on about 15 dresses, and ended up with the first one I tried on. I loved it but didn't like that the skirt was plain. When I put it back on I asked the consultant if she had any blingy cathedral length veils to offset the plain skirt. She found one and that was it. I learned how really a powerful tool the veil can be, and I didn't want to take it off. Combine that with my mother constantly saying how sophisticated the dress was and how great I looked in it and I was sold. No one cried, but I still got exactly what I needed to know that I made the right decision! :-)

missdelilah

@decembergrl2014 @theexactiee @jsangel1018 Thank you all for sharing your stories.  I'm so pleased to hear that all that TV show stuff about the crying and choruses of angels isn't how this works for real women.  I spent a lot of time wondering if I'd spend the next two week trying on dresses just because it hadn't happened yet.  I must have tried on 50 dresses, and just had that problem of loving two of them, and not being able to decide, and wondering if there was a better dress out there that would blow them out of the water.

I love how you ladies don't have complete failure of imagination like I do.  I can't tell what a sample that's 12 sizes to big is really going to look like on me, or what the venue will look like when it's all done up (it's an old hospital that's been repurposed, and I actually haven't seen it since it was in hospital set up, I just thought it was an interesting place to hold a wedding.  If you like that stuff you can check it out at www.qstation.com.au).  The only thing I do know is that it's likely to be swelteringly hot, and there are tons of great places for photo ops around the site, and a ball gown would have made it really difficult (although not impossible).  I have no idea what my Dad will be wearing, although I wonder if I'm becoming a little overbearing about FIs suit, but that's what he gets for asking me to organize through it my tailor.    

I can't wait to see what happens when the dress comes in in a size that sort of fits me, and I can start accessorizing.  I ended up buying the dress from a boutique that didn't have the sample - they were the most helpful, relatively close by, and the place that did have the sample was an hour and a half away.  When I realized that I would have to make that hour and a half trip five times, I didn't even feel remotely bad about buying the dress from the boutique that had the great customer service and was more convenient.  Maybe I should mention that in that thread about feeling bad trying things on and not buying them.  

JMS62415

I actually found my dress yesterday and it was a great experience. I went to a bridal store in my hometown and tried on about 8 dresses. I really loved one and thought it was the one but I had an appointment at another store shortly after so I wanted to go just to be sure. There was only a handful there that I wanted because I didn't want strapless. I tried on one my sister picked out and I immediately loved. It made me feel like Barbie and I looked tall which is hard since I'm 4'11. I can't wait to get it fitted. I didn't want to take it off. It made me feel so beautiful. Oh, and the veil sealed the deal. It took my breathe away. 

missdelilah

@JMS62415 I'm so pleased that you had a great experience with it! I sometimes find that other people make the best picks for me too. I sympathize with the no strapless. I didn't want one either and it severely limited options.

JMS62415

missdelilah said:

@JMS62415 I'm so pleased that you had a great experience with it! I sometimes find that other people make the best picks for me too. I sympathize with the no strapless. I didn't want one either and it severely limited options.

Thanks! I tried to keep an open mind because I thought I knew exactly what I wanted but you never know until you're there. I did know though that I didn't want strapless for sure. I'm very blessed in the boob area lol and I don't like cap sleeves so I needed something there. 

missdelilah

JMS62415 said:

missdelilah said:

@JMS62415 I'm so pleased that you had a great experience with it! I sometimes find that other people make the best picks for me too. I sympathize with the no strapless. I didn't want one either and it severely limited options.

Thanks! I tried to keep an open mind because I thought I knew exactly what I wanted but you never know until you're there. I did know though that I didn't want strapless for sure. I'm very blessed in the boob area lol and I don't like cap sleeves so I needed something there. 

Lol!  I'm the exact opposite in the boob area.  Nothing to hold up a strapless dress.  

emanon321

People give me strange looks when I tell them about the ordering-my-dress saga.

I liked the first dress I tried on in the first store I went to. As we wandered through the racks with the sales woman, I saw it on a dummy, stopped, pointed, and said, "That one." I liked it on, but it just wasn't "the one." My mom agreed.

About a month or probably more like two later, I must have been to almost every bridal store in the area. It was me and my mom driving all across town week after week. We would try on dresses I thought I would like, what mom mom thought she would like, we would even ask the sales people to pull whatever they thought would look good and... nothing. We would find some that we would like more than others, but we took pictures of everything we found and when we got home and looked at the pictures we were both so disheartened. By the second to last store we were just so jaded that everything looked the same as the last one. (the poor sales girl, we tried to make it fun for her even though we felt like such depressing people saying no to everything she gave us after we tried it on)

We finally took a break and I was starting to work on making a dress myself. It was looking really promising and I was getting the help of my old sewing instructors from college. But it was not to be. eventually I was a stressed out wreck and my dress felt like this giant mountain in front of me with a cliff on the other side because I was convinced it would look handmade and terrible.

Then my mom pretty much saved the day. She got online, searched for dresses similar to the first one I tried on and found one she loved. I was absolutely in love when she showed it to me. We went to the one salon in like the whole state that carries the brand. They didn't have the style I liked, but I tried on the first dress we liked again and tried on others in the same brand. And then ordered the dress without ever trying it on!

I am so excited (and a little scared) to try on my dress when it comes next month! Let's hope it works out.

Here's the dress. http://www.justinalexanderbridal.com/wedding_dresses/8706

missdelilah

@emanon321 I absolutely love that dress! I think I drool over just about 70% of what Justin Alexander makes. I ended up getting my dress from him too, although it was similar to others I'd tried. I really wanted to try that one on, but I can only find one salon near by that claims to have it in stock, and they didn't answer any of my emails, so I decided to go with the salon that had good communication. I'm so pleased that you finally found your dress! Sorry to hear that it was such a saga, but I remember going through that was my first prom dress. Eventually I ended up with something I didn't love simply because I'd been through so many stores and we were running out of options.