Wedding Etiquette Forum

B-list... Bridesmaids!

2»

Re: B-list... Bridesmaids!

  • Maybe it's just me, but shouldn't her family be in the front row?? I love my friends (not that I can even thin of 18 people I'd want up there with me), but my parents and brother take precedent over all of them, and they got front row at my wedding.

    Isn't it nice to let the ENTIRE bridal party sit?

    FWIW, our WP sat in the pews in front of our parents. That seems to be standard at the Catholic weddings I've attended too.
  • banana468 said:
    Maybe it's just me, but shouldn't her family be in the front row?? I love my friends (not that I can even thin of 18 people I'd want up there with me), but my parents and brother take precedent over all of them, and they got front row at my wedding.
    Isn't it nice to let the ENTIRE bridal party sit? FWIW, our WP sat in the pews in front of our parents. That seems to be standard at the Catholic weddings I've attended too.
    I'd appreciate that for a longer ceremony for sure.  Actually, when I was a BM in the past, I would get bored up there after about 20 min, so a seat would have been nice there too  

  • Thanks for validating my abhorrence! I will be sure to talk to my friend and see if she knows more details. We live in Indiana and she's from here as well, so I would presume the wedding is here. Which is definitely not the South. Don't know yet whether the B-Team knows they are such. I'll update if I get more info!
  • I know a girl who was in a similar situation, except that there were only 6 bridesmaids. 3 stood up at the altar and 3 sat in the first row. It was apparently due to space issues and that all 6 wouldn't have fit at the altar, and they weren't referred to as A-Team and B- Team, but my friend was still a little put off by it. Either everyone stands up front, or everyone sits in the front row.
  • @scribe95 us too! Trying not to get shot up on the northside (Broadripple area)
  • danamwdanamw member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    It is very silly to have 18 bridesmaids, and have half of them sit as a guest. But the girls agreed to this? I wouldn't, but perhaps they really wanted to be part of it, or some are easily directed, or the bride is just really persuasive or bitchy?
  • saacjwsaacjw member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    You lost me at 18 bridesmaids. I know the general consensus around here is however many are your nearest and dearest, but honestly, I can't fathom more than like 7. 
    I'm stuck on this too. I'm trying to think how I'd get to 18 bridesmaids. It'd have to be cousins, step-cousins (neither of which would be too extreme), 2nd cousins, and like, a bunch of friends, and I'd still be stretching it and asking friends who I'm just not as close to or something. I have a bunch of friends who are from big families and even they couldn't get to 18 comfortably. I have one friend with 11 siblings. Assuming she used all of them as bride's people, not ring bearers and flower girls (since some are young), plus the friends she had in her wedding, we're still at 14 total (she did not include all of her siblings in the bridal party, this is purely hypothetical). She could pad that to get to 18 pretty easily, but again, 11 siblings.

    I liked my 4 bridesmaids. It was easy. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Indy rep!

    But, no, 18 is HUGE. I don't know 18 people. Seriously, I have less than 18 people on my guest list as friends, and that's including SOs! I would be confusing names left and right, not to mention trying to remember who is "A" team and "B" team. "Oh, sorry Sara B, i confused you with Sarah A, no standing for you! LOL, you're just a prop!" No, not cool at all.
    image
  • danamw said:

    It is very silly to have 18 bridesmaids, and have half of them sit as a guest.

    But the girls agreed to this? I wouldn't, but perhaps they really wanted to be part of it, or some are easily directed, or the bride is just really persuasive or bitchy?

    That's why I'm wondering if some of them know. Like maybe they got asked to be a bridesmaid and haven't heard any of this other stuff.
  • It is very silly to have 18 bridesmaids, and have half of them sit as a guest. But the girls agreed to this? I wouldn't, but perhaps they really wanted to be part of it, or some are easily directed, or the bride is just really persuasive or bitchy?
    That's why I'm wondering if some of them know. Like maybe they got asked to be a bridesmaid and haven't heard any of this other stuff.
    My thought too. Who signs up to be a bridesmaid (read - dedicate time and money to someone else's event) when they don't even get to have the honor of actually being a bridesmaid?
    image
  • PDKH said:
    It is very silly to have 18 bridesmaids, and have half of them sit as a guest. But the girls agreed to this? I wouldn't, but perhaps they really wanted to be part of it, or some are easily directed, or the bride is just really persuasive or bitchy?
    That's why I'm wondering if some of them know. Like maybe they got asked to be a bridesmaid and haven't heard any of this other stuff.
    My thought too. Who signs up to be a bridesmaid (read - dedicate time and money to someone else's event) when they don't even get to have the honor of actually being a bridesmaid?
     
    SITB:
     
    Not me. With the amount of work I put in to earn the money I have and the corresponding rare free time I have, I would be very offended and upset to be one of the "B-List" bridesmaids.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker

    image


  • lc07lc07 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I don't mean to bash sororities because I'm sure they're not all bad. But the ranking thing reminds me of a friend of mine who rushed (and dropped out) freshman year of college and they would literally line the girls up in order of different things at meetings. Like, attractiveness or how many people you had slept with.

    What. The Fuck.

    I wonder if this chick attended that sorority. 
  • lc07 said:

    I don't mean to bash sororities because I'm sure they're not all bad. But the ranking thing reminds me of a friend of mine who rushed (and dropped out) freshman year of college and they would literally line the girls up in order of different things at meetings. Like, attractiveness or how many people you had slept with.


    What. The Fuck.

    I wonder if this chick attended that sorority. 
    Whaaaaaaaaaat?? That is disgusting hazing. I didn't think people still did that. We never had to do anything like that, when I was a new member we all got showered with love and gifts. Then again, I didn't b-list my bridesmaids so there's that.
  • Hope that bride hires a drill sergent for a day of coordinator. She'll need it to keep 18 women (their 18 different personalities) and all the guys all in line and running smoothly.
  • image

    ^ My face if someone tried to line me up by my ranking in one of those things...before I then walked out. ... Again, I didn't try the sorority thing at my school because they all had reputation for stuff like this.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker

    image


  • mimivac said:
    I am wondering how she asked these women to be BMs? The OP said she openly refers to them as "Team A and Team B." So how did that conversation go? "Will you do me the honor of being on my B-list?" "I'd really like you not to stand up for me at my wedding. Will you be on my second-best team?" Awkward.
    Yeah- two of our best friends are essentially doing this. She is having 4 bridesmaids, and he's having 8 groomsmen..BUT they want the sides to look equal *facepalm*. So he's having 4 guys who are groomsmen who will not be standing up, but ushering, sitting in the front row at the ceremony and sitting at the main table for the reception. FI is one of these 4 guys. And literally after he got asked...he was confused. He told me "oh, I kinda got invited to not be in there wedding, I think." 

    I'm just smiling through it all because I love them both. A year out from their wedding and I'm already a little tiny bit concerned on how things will eventually get. 
  • Is anyone else laughing a little inside at how ridiculous the head table without significant others that she is sure to have is going to look?
    image
  • I wonder if there are A and B team GM?  Because you know, even sides.

    About large bridal parties though.  Yes 18 is pretty crazy, and she is clearly not that close to all of them if she has a B Team.  But some people just have a lot of family and friends.  My bridal party is four family members, and four of my closest girlfriends.  I had to put a somewhat arbitrary cutoff in my mind at college, because if I added teacher and law school friends, I'd easily wind up with 12 BMs and I thought that was a little too much.  And my side of the guest list has far more friends than family.  So yeah, especially when you've moved around a lot and gone through different careers and schools, picking up a few close friends in each place, your friends can really add up.  Which IMO is a great thing!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    image

    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  • lol @ClimbingBrideNY that was perfect. This seriously makes me want to puke. I would be re-thinking the whole friendship if someone did this to me. It's WAY better to just be a guest. You can still show love for guests and make them feel important. But *trying* to honor someone by putting them on the B list is such a huge insult and so effing rude I don't know if it's funny or sad.
    image
  • annathy03 said:



    You lost me at 18 bridesmaids. I know the general consensus around here is however many are your nearest and dearest, but honestly, I can't fathom more than like 7. 

    H and I met a couple the second night on our honeymoon that had 18 bridesmaids.  She showed us a picture and it looked ridiculous.  They were from the south and I think invited their whole town.

    I've been to a wedding where the only people standing up with the B&G were the MOH and best man, and the other bridesmaids sat up front.  But that bride didn't make them buy matching dresses and included them in the processional, so while it was a bit odd it didn't strike me as rude.


    That's standard for Catholic weddings. . .the only ppl at the altar are the couple and their MOH and BM. The rest of the WP sits in the 1st row of pews.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • @JCBride2015

    I take it from the signature change, that you have finished the bar exam.  Congrats on your freedom!  Enjoy all the drinking. 
    image
  • I think I saw this on SYTTD Bridesmaids. She had one set in one color dress walk down the aisle and stand by her side, while the other set wore another color and held lanterns or something (?!?!) and stood at certain points down the aisle.

    As rude as it sounds, it was so much ruder to see first hand (well on TV) because the A team acted so superior to the B team the whole time during dress shopping and kept verbally putting down their opinions since they "don't matter as much"...
    image


    Anniversary
  • Perhaps she is planning her wedding drunk? That is the only logical reason I can come up with for such a ridiculous plan.
  • manateehuggermanateehugger member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited August 2014
    lc07 said:
    I don't mean to bash sororities because I'm sure they're not all bad. But the ranking thing reminds me of a friend of mine who rushed (and dropped out) freshman year of college and they would literally line the girls up in order of different things at meetings. Like, attractiveness or how many people you had slept with.

    What. The Fuck.

    I wonder if this chick attended that sorority. 
    Sorry, I have to address this because I'm overly attached to my sorority (it's a problem) and still help out with student conduct and liability stuff. There;s no way in hell these chicks wouldn't have gotten in massive trouble with both the university and their national headquarters, and probably a few state laws here or there.

    If your friend has proof, she should consider reporting this. Most colleges work pretty hard to protect the identity of someone reporting hazing (I know it's hard sometimes). It may not go anywhere, but it can tip the university off to keeping a close eye on the chapter. 

    ETA: Just realized you and her may be far removed from college. But ugh, still, I hope this behavior gets addressed. 
    image
  • You lost me at 18 bridesmaids. I know the general consensus around here is however many are your nearest and dearest, but honestly, I can't fathom more than like 7. 
    H and I met a couple the second night on our honeymoon that had 18 bridesmaids.  She showed us a picture and it looked ridiculous.  They were from the south and I think invited their whole town.

    I've been to a wedding where the only people standing up with the B&G were the MOH and best man, and the other bridesmaids sat up front.  But that bride didn't make them buy matching dresses and included them in the processional, so while it was a bit odd it didn't strike me as rude.
    That's standard for Catholic weddings. . .the only ppl at the altar are the couple and their MOH and BM. The rest of the WP sits in the 1st row of pews.
    Oh yes, I've seen it that way for Catholic weddings and not thought anything of it.  This one wasn't Catholic and the other groomsmen were already sitting when the ceremony started, and come to think of it the other groomsmen may have just acted been ushers, I can't remember if they escorted the bridesmaids back down the aisle after the ceremony.  Like I said it wasn't bad, just different.
  • OMG GIFS!  I need GIFS for this!!!

    image

    image

    image

    It's also really attention whore-y.  "OMG Guys!  You're all speshul!  Aren't I just so great?  I couldn't NOT pick all you guyz.  Now line up according to your category!"  

    Will you please keep in touch with her?  I kinda want to know if her marriage turns out okay...
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

    image
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards