If one more person says "just relax"....

KellyT22

....do they not understand how stressful planning a wedding is?!?! (And I'm someone who frequently plans events for my job!)

StitelME

Even better - when someone who volunteered to plan a small part of the wedding (i.e., bachelor party, etc.) tells me that my plans (Due to forces beyond my control with the venue had to schedule an appt the afternoon after the Bach. Party, asked Best Man if my FI could conceivably make that and BM blew UP at me) are making HIS planning too stressful and that he should maybe just not be involved AT ALL because HE is too stressed... Seriously?

loveislouder

Just relax and calm down are my least favourite words right now.

Nymeru

Yeah, because if you could "just" do it, you would.  Relaxing (while important) doesn't always help you get anything done.  I noticed that I wasn't told to relax unless my opinion differed from someone else's.  Then I was supposed to "relax" and just do what they thought was best.

AddieCake

I didn't have much stress until a couple days before.

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826

I'm actually doing okay right now.  I refuse to stress over stuff.  We'll see how I am a week before though.

artbyallie

I had people asking me why/how I was so relaxed. Everyone seemed to expect me to be a drama queen but drama belongs on the stage. I just didn't care that much about the details. Stressing over perfection is stupid because something is bound to go wrong or have to be changed last minute or whatever. I got married, which was the only real important part. My guests were properly hosted. Everything else is/was fluff.

gothic_fairy60

We have 17 days to go, and it has only been recently that I really started to stress

Cookie Pusher

I don't think I had much stress in the wedding planning part. No one told me to calm down or stop stressing or anything. Granted, I did do A LOT of DIY projects and did everything myself (I didn't ask for help and I didn't take anyone up on their offers to help because I know I'm very Type-A), but I really didn't sweat any of the wedding stuff. I was way more stressed about getting my closet turned over from winter to summer!

steph861

artbyallie said:

I had people asking me why/how I was so relaxed. Everyone seemed to expect me to be a drama queen but drama belongs on the stage. I just didn't care that much about the details. Stressing over perfection is stupid because something is bound to go wrong or have to be changed last minute or whatever. I got married, which was the only real important part. My guests were properly hosted. Everything else is/was fluff.

I've been getting this a lot too. Granted, the wedding is still three months away, so there's still plenty of time for me to lose my shit.

KellyT22

I guess I'm stressed because I am trying to plan a wedding in six months. Adding planning to an already CRAZY BUSY schedule is pretty overwhelming. Not to mention that I work a very stressful, mentally-draining job.

peachy13

If people are telling you to "just relax" that must mean you are complaining and/or can read the stress on your face I'm guessing.

I think I would probably say the same thing if someone was trying to plan a wedding in 6 months and was clearly stressed. I'm sorry but is there a reason you're planning your wedding in such a short time? (I would be stressed too!)

southernbelle0915

The more simple you keep your plans, the less you have to stress about. When you bite off more than you can chew - that's when it's stressful. 

I hope your FI is helping you and taking half the work. It's his wedding to. Delegate.

abbyj700

I've still got three months to go, but have seldom felt stressed.

Typically when I feel a little stress-I do something for myself or our relationship that isn't about the wedding. I get my nails done, buy myself a new shirt, take FI out to a nice dinner, etc. It just makes me feel better and gets me back on track. OR if I'm stressing about something specific - I do work on it to move it forward.

Marzipan13

I'm definitely not stressed. Call me crazy, but I kind of like the hustle & bustle surrounding the wedding, especially with 1 month to go (EEEK). I think my lack of stress, however, is due to the fact that I got small things out of the way WAYYY early. ...Will probably eat these words in 20 or so more days...

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826

steph11814 said:

artbyallie said:

I had people asking me why/how I was so relaxed. Everyone seemed to expect me to be a drama queen but drama belongs on the stage. I just didn't care that much about the details. Stressing over perfection is stupid because something is bound to go wrong or have to be changed last minute or whatever. I got married, which was the only real important part. My guests were properly hosted. Everything else is/was fluff.

I've been getting this a lot too. Granted, the wedding is still three months away, so there's still plenty of time for me to lose my shit.

My FMIL said to me "You're so chill, but sometimes you are a little too chill."

Bitch, no such thing!

 

Bubblegum5586

I over-stressed at times and looking back I realize how unnessesary it was. I do tell my bride friends to relax... but in a reassuring "it will all work out because you are marrying your love" kind of way not in a condescending way.

KellyT22

brideloveshergroom said:

If people are telling you to "just relax" that must mean you are complaining and/or can read the stress on your face I'm guessing.

I think I would probably say the same thing if someone was trying to plan a wedding in 6 months and was clearly stressed. I'm sorry but is there a reason you're planning your wedding in such a short time? (I would be stressed too!)

The timing worked out best for us with my FI being back in school full time. We didn't want to wait a year to get married since we are both older and want to start a family.

I'm not complaining about anything, but right now there is a lot of urgency to get the major stuff booked. There's a lot of decisions to be made in a short amount of time.

mileybangerz

manateehugger

KellyT22 said:

brideloveshergroom said:

If people are telling you to "just relax" that must mean you are complaining and/or can read the stress on your face I'm guessing.

I think I would probably say the same thing if someone was trying to plan a wedding in 6 months and was clearly stressed. I'm sorry but is there a reason you're planning your wedding in such a short time? (I would be stressed too!)

The timing worked out best for us with my FI being back in school full time. We didn't want to wait a year to get married since we are both older and want to start a family.

I'm not complaining about anything, but right now there is a lot of urgency to get the major stuff booked. There's a lot of decisions to be made in a short amount of time.

Instead of thinking of everything at once, write down a list of 2-3 things you're going to get done that day. And those are the only things you're allowed to think about. That's it. If you think everything is SUPER URGENT IMPORTANT, you'll get stressed. Just say, "Today, I'm going to set up an appointment with the florist and make a decision on cake flavors. And then I will not think about the wedding."

And just let it go with the vendor decisions. As soon as you find something within budget and your taste, just do it.