This f****ing dog!!! (NWR rant)

BlackLace2015

I'm sorry I am an animal lover and I do like dogs but my fiancé's dog is driving me INSANE. She is a 6 yr old german shepherd and just the most spoiled, obnoxious dog. We just moved in together a month ago and she is already destroying everything and getting us in trouble.

To be fair my fiancé hasn't been taking the best care of her. Since his ex left him and his 2 kids he has been extremely busy trying to work FT and take care of the house and family by himself. The dog is stinky, her nails are long, etc. She never got spayed so at her old house she left bloody spots all over everything. She hates our new townhouse and barks at every noise she hears. She also gets up on the furniture and licks herself, leaving gross crusty spots on all the couches, etc.When we eat she begs and if we leave any doors open she eats out of the trash. I spent 30 minutes scrubbing our microfiber chair that she jumped on and got mud/drool stains all over, and the next day she did it again. She obsessively follows my fiancé around the house, often pushing me out of the way to be near him. She almost pushed me down the basement stairs the other day.

I took it upon myself to get her an anti-bark collar (the noise kind, not a shock one) but that didn't work. I also got doggy dry shampoo and started brushing her fur.  Then I got an $80 dog gate to keep her off the furniture and she knocked it down on the first day. I feed her, take her out, do everything I can to help, but I'm sorry at this point I really cannot stand this stupid dog and I feel like a horrible person for it. I catch myself giving her dirty looks all the time. It's getting ridiculous.

Has anyone else had a problem adjusting to their Fi's pet? Please tell me I'm not alone. I just want a clean home and to stay out of trouble with the neighbors is that asking too much??? Ug.

loveislouder

This sounds like a behavioral problem. You should look into first, getting her fixed and professionally groomed, and then into obedience classes.

smalfrie19

loveislouder said:

This sounds like a behavioral problem. You should look into first, getting her fixed and professionally groomed, and then into obedience classes.

all of this...and put her in a kennel when you are gone so she doesnt get up on the furniture...and dont let her on it when you are home. 

Maggie0829

Take her to the groomer for a bath, a good brushing and nail clipping.

Look into obedience classes.  Training her may be more difficult because she is older but German Shepard are very smart, but like with all dogs they need a firm hand.

Ask the vet about getting her spayed.  I am guessing your FI wasn't planning on breeding puppies so there is not point why she hasn't been spayed.

And sorry to say, even though the dog belonged to your FI before you were with him, now that you are marrying him it becomes your dog now.  If you are getting irritated and your FI won't do anything about it, then you need to take control of the situation for your own sanity.

Also, the dog needs time to adjust to the fact that you now live in the same house as her.  She is used to it only being your FI and his kids.  You both need time to adjust.  If you want to really like the dog then you need to start being its owner and that means taking care of her.

I will say that if she has been allowed to be on the furniture all this time that will be a very hard habit to break if you can break it at all.  May I suggest you invest in some blankets to place on the furniture she sits/lays on.

And you say you live in a new townhouse.  Moving a dog to a new place is pretty traumatic for an animal.  New place, new smells, new noises, etc. It takes a while for a dog to get used to a new home.

Finally, I understand barking gets annoying, but if it is not a constant thing, like she never stops barking all day and all night, then controlling the barking is not always a good thing.  One day you may be happy that she barks when she hears noises cause she could give you a heads up that someone is trying to break in or she may even scare a potential burglar away.

hellosweetie1015

...another issue that I think no one is thinking of - if this is not Your Dog it could be significantly harder for you to effect change. It may be about to be your dog, but right this second she may be seeing you as competition for your FI's attention, which she is used to getting without your presence, and if that's the case will likely struggle with this until you get some good bonding time.

Maggie0829

CaitTDid23 said:

...another issue that I think no one is thinking of - if this is not Your Dog it could be significantly harder for you to effect change. It may be about to be your dog, but right this second she may be seeing you as competition for your FI's attention, which she is used to getting without your presence, and if that's the case will likely struggle with this until you get some good bonding time.

This is good point.  A very good point.

ohannabelle

No, you're not terrible for being upset, because I'd be going out of my frikking mind, and hating life.

But you're giving dirty looks to the wrong party. 

Even if your Fiancé's busy, he's still the parent. As far as responsibility, it's no different than having a child. If you don't train them and discipline them and keep them clean and well mannered, nobody will be able to stand them and your own life will be miserable. And you can't live like that. 

Step 1- That f&*!ing dog needs to fixed, bathed and groomed. Not necessarily in that order. 

If vet bills are an issue, call your local Humane Society and Animal Rescue Groups. A lot of them provide free or reduced spay/neuter coupons. Get her fixed before she's bleeding on your furniture and humping the window sills in her desperation to get out. You'll like her even less, then.

She needs dedicated training. Dog Trust has a series of YouTube dog training videos. Like 20 some of them. Here's the stay off the effing furniture one: http://youtu.be/vrF8YbcKQW0 It's a starting place.

Lay in a supply of her favorite treats, make sure everyone in the house is on board with you, and just like parenting, make sure your Fiancé is on exactly the same page. And train that bitch before you lose your mind.

Just like a kid, she wants love and attention, and if she can't get positive attention, she'll settle for negative. But positive attention kicks ass. Make her your new BFF, even if you can't imagine that day coming.

You must be stressed to the teeth with this, but I believe you can make her yours for the price of milk bone dog cookies and a few "good girls." 

Maggie0829

I think a great way to become her buddy is to take her own walks or take her to the dog park (only after she is fixed because you don't want any horny male dogs getting her pregnant) and play with her.  This will also tire her out so she won't be so apt to destroy things.

Sugargirl1019

ohannabelle said:

Get her fixed before she's bleeding on your furniture and humping the window sills in her desperation to get out. You'll like her even less, then.

This is terrible, but sometimes I feel like this, what with H working two jobs and him not wanting a baby for 5 years. Hump the window sills!!!

We have sex. But you know how your body gets when it wants a baby.

BlackLace2015

Thanks everyone I am doing everything I can but sadly most of it is up to my fi because I can't afford to take care of a dog (hence I never owned one of my own). I have already started having the kids help out by brushing her and helping take her for walks. Maybe if I tell my fi that she needs to be spayed before she can go to the dog park (and if so I will take her on some of my days off) then it will encourage him to finally get on it. Has anyone had luck with those sprays that supposedly keep dogs off the furniture?

Sugargirl1019

We used a "stop it" spray that had pheromones and was scented like lavender vanilla. It stopped Raiders bad behavior pretty fast! He hates the sight of the bottle!

He's a tiny dog so we don't mind him snuggling on the couch with us.

princessleia22

Like others said, definitely get her bathed/groomed (you can do this yourself with some know how, but groomers will likely do much better job). 

 

And look into obedience training. This is something you can do at home yourself for free... just do some research and stick with it. Most obedience training is really training the owner, more than the dog.  They do learn much better with positive reinforcement than negative. So keep small treats to reward the good behavior.  One of our dogs (originally was my husbands dog before we met) was 4 years old when we started training and it worked well, and our other one was 2, so age isn't critical.  They really do just want to make people happy, so they can catch on quick, especially a smart dog like a shepherd.  And being new into the environment, you may need to show your dominance and that you will stand your ground.  If you say no, you need to keep saying no, until she realizes that you mean it.  Maybe get her a bed to set near couch, say no if she gets on couch, but give treats if she lays in her bed properly. Even just a blanket on the floor for "her spot" would work, just something to delineate her "good girl spot".  Our dogs get crazy excited when they hear us say "good girl" or "good boy", because it usually means they get petted or treats.  They know the difference between "good dog" and "bad dog" and strive every day to hear "good dog". 

For the garbage, our younger dog had that problem and would knock trash over every day when we left. We bought a heavy trash can with a lid and that fixed the problem, but we also have smaller dogs that can't get into it as easily.  We also had some success with setting soda cans on the trash can, in a place that they would fall over on floor if they got into trash... the sound of can hitting floor would scare them away. So, if buying a heavy trash can isn't an option, try setting up a booby trap to scare her away when she gets into it.

Spaying may help with behavior, and will certainly help with the mess.  Look at your local shelters for spay/neuter programs. In my area, once a month they have a FREE mobile spay/neuter clinic.  You need to show up 2-3 hours early to get a spot in line, but it's free.  Or our local county shelter offers free spay/neuter vouchers that can be used at any vet office.  They have limited quantity and release them at beginning of month.  So, there may be options out there to get her spayed for free if money is the problem.

penguin44

Maggie0829 said:

I think a great way to become her buddy is to take her own walks or take her to the dog park (only after she is fixed because you don't want any horny male dogs getting her pregnant) and play with her.  This will also tire her out so she won't be so apt to destroy things.

I was going to say this. Bigger dogs need a lot of exercise. She is probably destroying things and misbehaving because she is bored and has pent up energy. 

Also, she sees your FI as her pack leader. If you start training her, she will start respecting you and obeying. 

I basically adopted my FI's dog for a while. We were long distance, but I had more free time, so I ended up with the dog. It's a difficult transition. His dog was also not trained and very smart. She still gets into things, but she is much more behaved after training and regular walks. 

Get the dog spayed as soon as possible. Like tomorrow. Not just for the cleanliness of your house, but there are way too many dogs in shelters. 

OliveOilsMom

German Shepherds are very smart animals.  But they need to be trained!  They want to be trained!  If she has never had any training you need to do that.  

But first SPAY her!  I had my dog's spaying done at the County animal shelter for a reduced fee.  

Also, my dog didn't take too kindly to my now-H when he first came into the picture.  She used to give him the dirtiest looks, when she thought he was hurting me, if you get what I'm saying.  She did battle for my attention too.  But now my dog loves my H just as much as me and listens to him just like she does me.  She knows her commands and will listen to either one of us giving them.  You can see she still favors me a bit, she will bark at people when I am home, but not when its just my H.  

If you do not have the funds for any of this.  Tell your FI that it needs to be done and you need $X for it to happen.  Tell him you have issues with his dog and you want to work on them with her, so that she also sees you as her master.

climbingsingle

How much exercise is the dog getting every day? Honestly, I think that could be the root of a lot of these problems. Larger dogs need A LOT of exercise. I have a pit mix and I need to run her every day. And then I take her hiking every weekend. 

mrsmorales2be

This dog needs obedience training, some targeted behavioral modification, and plenty of exercise.

A bored dog is a problem dog.

Maggie0829

If you don't have the funds then you need to have a discussion with your FI. You need to tell him that you will take care of making the appointment and taking her to the doctors to get fixed and all of that if he will provide the funds. Same with the groomer. But just know, you and your FI are getting married so you may as well step up and realize that this is now your dog too so you need to get used to taking care of her and taking the reins. Just think how frustrated you are right now with her, well if she hasn't been trained and she hasn't been fixed and she may not really be getting the attention she is used to and she was just moved to a new home, well then she may be just as irritated and frustrated if not more then you are.

ShellD13

After I graduated from college I moved in with my sister, her FI, and their 1 yo 100lb Rottweiler.  I only had 15/20 lbs on him at the time and while he was an AMAZING dog he was definitely testing me to see who was alpha as soon as I moved in...  I ended up taking him to obedience classes (he'd been through all of the classes with my sister and her FI when he was a little puppy).  It was a great experience for me and we had a few "ah ha" moments that gave me the confidence to handle him appropriately - it made all the difference!

Similarly, MIL and FIL adopted a 1 1/2 yo dalmatian puppy from a family that thought it was cute gift for their toddler after 101 Dalmatians came out but didn't realize how much work dogs and Dalmations in general can be - so they ended up shoving the poor dog in the basement everyday for close to a year.  The pup was so traumatized by the time MIL and FIL got him that DH ended up taking him to obedience classes to try to correct some of the damage and it worked wonders!

Now that H and I have just adopted a puppy, We are both dedicated and able to put all of the work in to make sure that we nip any issues in the bud while he is little (even though he will never top 80lbs).

Groomer, Vet, Obedience Training, blankets for the furniture, lots of time (to adjust to new house and your presence), and love and you should have a great family pet.

BlackLace2015

I shouldn't have said she isn't trained, she knows some basic commands but nothing seems to keep her out of trouble when no one is looking. I wish we could hire someone to come walk her during the day. Also just to be clear she isn't filthy, just stinks pretty much like a typical dog (annoying to me because I like a clean house) and the nails REALLY need a trim.

 

I really wish I had more time for all this training and exercise that she is missing out on. I am away from the house from 6:30 AM to 8:15 PM on workdays, and have a house and 3 kids to take care of on my days off. I also have 2 sick parents I'm trying to help at the same time.

 

I guess I just need to learn to multi-task... maybe on my next day off when I go to visit my Dad I'll take the kids and the dog and let them spray her with a hose in his yard LOL. I'm really at the end of my rope.

Thanks everyone for the good advice now to get my fi on the same page and get sh*t done!