Champagne etiquette

Maggie0829

lolo883 said:

The toasts are going to happen during the salad course; do people really need so much advance warning that this is about to happen? They will have already sat down to eat and should already have whatever they wanted to drink with their dinner. It's not like we're sneak attacking people with toasts and catching them off guard. I have never been notified in advance that toasts were about to happen... I just always expect them to be right before/at the beginning of dinner. Although I also don't tend to find myself drink-less at a wedding very often...

This has been my experience.  I have never been to a wedding where drinks were served table side. And typically once the cocktail hour comes to a close and everyone makes their way to the dinner tables and I notice my drink is running low I make a quick pit stop at the bar and then head to my table.  I typically only need one drink (plus water) with my dinner, but if I need another I just get up and help myself at the bar.  No biggie.  I mean going out to dinner in a restaurant is a lot different then attending a wedding and I am pretty sure everyone knows that.

Kahlyla

I don't think it's a problem for the waitstaff to bring champagne to the bride and groom per se, BUT just in the past two days I've stumbled across a couple of posts here that cited "the bridal party and no one else being served champagne" as a perceived etiquette faux pas. I can't recall if they were in the "worst wedding" thread or somewhere else.

A few posters pointed out that champagne may well have been available at the bar and they just didn't know it, but the upshot is that these guests were under the impression that it was only available to the bridal party, and were bothered. I think as long as guests know that champagne is available to them, it wouldn't be a problem. As long as they really know, lol.

Maggie0829

If I saw the bride or a member of the wedding party drinking champagne my initial reaction would be "oh champagne must be available at the bar, let me go get a glass." I wouldn't just assume that only the wedding party was getting to drink champagne. Now if I went to the bar, asked for champagne and were told, oh sorry we don't have that then I would be irked.

KatieinBkln

I wonder if you can have the bar set out a large (but not TOO large, so as not to defeat the purpose of avoiding over-pouring) number of pre-poured flutes just before the toast? That would be a visual cue for people that the champers is available, but also that they need to go and get it. 

I also just enjoy the look of many champagne flutes sitting in one place. It looks so luxurious.

Kahlyla

^ I agree, and I was kind of thinking the same thing.

manateehugger

KatieinBkln said:

I wonder if you can have the bar set out a large (but not TOO large, so as not to defeat the purpose of avoiding over-pouring) number of pre-poured flutes just before the toast? That would be a visual cue for people that the champers is available, but also that they need to go and get it. 

I also just enjoy the look of many champagne flutes sitting in one place. It looks so luxurious.

STUCK
This!!! I also asked our caterer to pass champagne during cocktail hour (along with wine, beer, and our signature drink - Blueberry Vodka Lemonade with fresh blueberries - holy God - anything else you had to go to the bar), which helped send the message around that sparkling wine was available. 

Maggie0829

I went to a wedding where they served champagne over a small dollop of lemon sorbet.  OMG that was freaking amazing and I would have drank it all night if it were available.  And that is coming from an "ick I hate champagne" person.

southernbelle0915

KatieinBkln said:

I wonder if you can have the bar set out a large (but not TOO large, so as not to defeat the purpose of avoiding over-pouring) number of pre-poured flutes just before the toast? That would be a visual cue for people that the champers is available, but also that they need to go and get it. 

I also just enjoy the look of many champagne flutes sitting in one place. It looks so luxurious.

This.

Side note: When I was in college, I worked a one-time catering gig as a server. No experience. It was a really fancy wedding and they were serving passed champagne with one raspberry in each glass. I had a tray of flutes and dropped the whole thing. Glass smashed all over the floor, spillage on people's clothes.... The glares. It still burns today.

indianaalum

cupcait927 said:

That sounds like ultimately what FI and I are going to end up doing. We LOVE champagne and definitely want it to toast with, however I don't want to spend the per person cost for everyone to have it and not have it equally enjoyed. We're just going to ask that it be one of the options on the bar. That way people can toast with whatever they'd like, FI and I get our champagne, and we save money.

SITB:

Just playing devil's advocate. IF it is offered at the "bar", then it should be offered the entire night, correct? If so, that might end up costing you more money if people decided to drink champagne all night long. You can't really just offere it for the 5 minutes prior to your toast. you realize that, right?

What we did is, we had a pour at the table by the waiters. If they wanted it, they took it. If they didn't, each table had wine.

I personally think doing it the way you are doing it COULD look like you are getting it and they aren't, if they aren't fully aware it is at the bar. It also might look "tiered" that you are being served, and they have to get up to get it themselves. It also could lead to a long line at the last minute of people wanting champagne at the bar which could either a) delay your toast or b) make people not pay attention to your toast.

theartistformerlyknownas

indianaalum said:

cupcait927 said:

That sounds like ultimately what FI and I are going to end up doing. We LOVE champagne and definitely want it to toast with, however I don't want to spend the per person cost for everyone to have it and not have it equally enjoyed. We're just going to ask that it be one of the options on the bar. That way people can toast with whatever they'd like, FI and I get our champagne, and we save money.

SITB:

Just playing devil's advocate. IF it is offered at the "bar", then it should be offered the entire night, correct? If so, that might end up costing you more money if people decided to drink champagne all night long. You can't really just offere it for the 5 minutes prior to your toast. you realize that, right?

What we did is, we had a pour at the table by the waiters. If they wanted it, they took it. If they didn't, each table had wine.

I personally think doing it the way you are doing it COULD look like you are getting it and they aren't, if they aren't fully aware it is at the bar. It also might look "tiered" that you are being served, and they have to get up to get it themselves. It also could lead to a long line at the last minute of people wanting champagne at the bar which could either a) delay your toast or b) make people not pay attention to your toast.

No, the way our bar is priced it doesn't cost that much more for a glass of champagne than a glass of anything else. The only thing that WILL end up costing us a fortune is people taking a glass of champagne because they feel like they're "supposed" to have one for a "champagne toast" but then they don't drink it. 

If someone feels like going to the bar, reading the full list of options, and choosing a glass of champagne to drink, go for it. If they'd rather have Absolut, go for it. But I don't want to give the impression that "we're all drinking champagne now, this is a thing, so make sure you have champagne" and seeing it go to waste by people who didn't necessarily want it but took it anyway. It's just "we just got here, we don't have drinks yet, oh hey there's a drink waiting at my table and it happens to be bubbly. And now we're going to toast with this beverage that happens to be bubbly because toasting is what happens at this point in a wedding."

annathy03

lolo883 said:

The toasts are going to happen during the salad course; do people really need so much advance warning that this is about to happen? They will have already sat down to eat and should already have whatever they wanted to drink with their dinner. It's not like we're sneak attacking people with toasts and catching them off guard. I have never been notified in advance that toasts were about to happen... I just always expect them to be right before/at the beginning of dinner. Although I also don't tend to find myself drink-less at a wedding very often...

So much this.  Toasts always happen during dinner, at least in my experience.  And I've only been to one wedding that offered table service at dinner and that was because they closed the bar during dinner so ONLY tableside poured wine was available for that hour, no champagne.

CMGragain

I attended a wedding once where guests were offered their choice of champaigne or ginger ale for the toast.  It worked out well.

kaos16

Maggie0829 said:

I went to a wedding where they served champagne over a small dollop of lemon sorbet.  OMG that was freaking amazing and I would have drank it all night if it were available.  And that is coming from an "ick I hate champagne" person.

 

SIB

 

I must try this!!

jenijoyk

I have totally been to a wedding where early in the dinner an announcement was made that toasts were coming up in a few minutes, everyone make sure they have a drink in hand. Worked just fine and we'll do the same. My groom and I will most likely have beers in our hands because that's what we (and many of our guests) like to drink.

Our bar tab is by consumption, and we'll pay the same $5 or whatever for every glass people order, whether it's wine, beer or champagne. Like @lolo883 our caterer would charge an additional $450 for a "champagne toast", meaning a dude walking around with a tray of champagne and offering it to everyone at the start of dinner. It just didn't seem worth the $450 given that many of those champagnes will be half full at the end of dinner, and most everyone will already have a beer, champagne, or wine glass in front of them that they brought from cocktail hour or picked up on their own at the bar.

I wouldn't even notice if the head table all had champagnes in front of their seats when they walked in, or if someone dropped them off while the bridal party was sitting down. I would only notice if the head table had a designated man-servant that waited on their every need while the rest of us plebes sat on hay bales or something. Doesn't sound like that's what's happening, so I'd say do it! (And so will I.)

theartistformerlyknownas

jenijoyk said:

I have totally been to a wedding where early in the dinner an announcement was made that toasts were coming up in a few minutes, everyone make sure they have a drink in hand. Worked just fine and we'll do the same. My groom and I will most likely have beers in our hands because that's what we (and many of our guests) like to drink.

Our bar tab is by consumption, and we'll pay the same $5 or whatever for every glass people order, whether it's wine, beer or champagne. Like @lolo883 our caterer would charge an additional $450 for a "champagne toast", meaning a dude walking around with a tray of champagne and offering it to everyone at the start of dinner. It just didn't seem worth the $450 given that many of those champagnes will be half full at the end of dinner, and most everyone will already have a beer, champagne, or wine glass in front of them that they brought from cocktail hour or picked up on their own at the bar.

I wouldn't even notice if the head table all had champagnes in front of their seats when they walked in, or if someone dropped them off while the bridal party was sitting down. I would only notice if the head table had a designated man-servant that waited on their every need while the rest of us plebes sat on hay bales or something. Doesn't sound like that's what's happening, so I'd say do it! (And so will I.)

Oh but wait, I could save so much money on chairs... ;-)

gen148

lolo883 said:

I know that the rule is you can't have anything available to the WP that isn't available to all other guests. Absolutely. But what's the etiquette on having champagne served to those of us at the head table (just me and the mister, MOH/her BF, BM/his wife) for the toast, as long as it's available for everyone else? I don't want to have champagne poured for everyone because I know a lot of my guests don't drink it. It would be a giant waste of money. It will be available at the bar for anyone who asks for it though. I figure everyone will toast with whatever they're already drinking following cocktail hour, which might be champagne, might be Coke. But we'll just be arriving at the reception space and going right to our table, so I thought that would be nice to have ready for us to keep things moving along. 

Thoughts?

For the toasts at one of my cousin's weddings, they gave everyone sparkling cider regardless of age.  I was 11 and was worried it was actual champagne, haha.

huskypuppy14

We had table side ordering for all drinks for everyone. Husband and I had a bottle of champagne at our sweetheart table, but it was available for everyone at the bar. I think it's fine for the bride and groom to have an attendant that does a little more for them,  as long as what you have is available for everyone you are fine. 

We had someone go to the stations and get our food for us, because we were busy in between greeting our guests at their tables.  But each table had a personal server where they could ask for anything they needed. 

larrygaga

I am always surprised at the amount of people who don't really like champagne. I think you are fine just the way you have it set up.

Jen4948

lolo883 said:

The toasts are going to happen during the salad course; do people really need so much advance warning that this is about to happen? They will have already sat down to eat and should already have whatever they wanted to drink with their dinner. It's not like we're sneak attacking people with toasts and catching them off guard. I have never been notified in advance that toasts were about to happen... I just always expect them to be right before/at the beginning of dinner. Although I also don't tend to find myself drink-less at a wedding very often...

People probably do need advance warning that champagne will be available at the bar but not served at the tables by the wait staff.  Otherwise, they might well be confused when it's time to toast, especially if they've completely consumed whatever drinks they've already gotten.

theartistformerlyknownas

Jen4948 said:

lolo883 said:

The toasts are going to happen during the salad course; do people really need so much advance warning that this is about to happen? They will have already sat down to eat and should already have whatever they wanted to drink with their dinner. It's not like we're sneak attacking people with toasts and catching them off guard. I have never been notified in advance that toasts were about to happen... I just always expect them to be right before/at the beginning of dinner. Although I also don't tend to find myself drink-less at a wedding very often...

People probably do need advance warning that champagne will be available at the bar but not served at the tables by the wait staff.  Otherwise, they might well be confused when it's time to toast, especially if they've completely consumed whatever drinks they've already gotten.

It will be available the entire time. They don't need to make a special trip at a special time. It will have been there (and noted on the sign that lists every brand available) for the entire cocktail hour.

Is someone really going to sit down for dinner with no beverage and their biggest concern be not having champagne to toast with?

erinlin25

kns1988 said:

Oh wow, another thing that I hadn't even thought about. I love champagne, so I never thought that there are people there who wouldn't want it. Obviously, there will be. Some of my guests don't even drink. What about having servers come around to offer it, but not have it ready at the table? Or is that too time consuming?

our venue did it this way and it seemed to go smoothly. The toast was after dinner, so they went around with glasses on a tray offering it to people near the end of dinner along with a sparkling cider option (a lot of H's family do not drink). People either took the champagne or toasted with their drink of choice (full open bar). Champagne was also available at the bar itself.

cupcait927

indianaalum said:

cupcait927 said:

That sounds like ultimately what FI and I are going to end up doing. We LOVE champagne and definitely want it to toast with, however I don't want to spend the per person cost for everyone to have it and not have it equally enjoyed. We're just going to ask that it be one of the options on the bar. That way people can toast with whatever they'd like, FI and I get our champagne, and we save money.

SITB:

Just playing devil's advocate. IF it is offered at the "bar", then it should be offered the entire night, correct? If so, that might end up costing you more money if people decided to drink champagne all night long. You can't really just offere it for the 5 minutes prior to your toast. you realize that, right?

What we did is, we had a pour at the table by the waiters. If they wanted it, they took it. If they didn't, each table had wine.

I personally think doing it the way you are doing it COULD look like you are getting it and they aren't, if they aren't fully aware it is at the bar. It also might look "tiered" that you are being served, and they have to get up to get it themselves. It also could lead to a long line at the last minute of people wanting champagne at the bar which could either a) delay your toast or b) make people not pay attention to your toast.

 

I'm planning on having champagne available at the bar all night. It won't be available just for toasts and then taken away. Our venue charges $3 pp for a champagne toast. A lot of people don't like champagne or won't finish it, so it's a waste of money. I'd rather have it available at the bar along with our other drink selections and be done with it. If people want it, it's there. If they don't, they can pass. I'm not that concerned about it.

MollyandD

I've been to weddings where, shortly before the toast, a coordinator or a member of the wedding party made an announcement that toasts would be occurring soon, and everyone was invited to get champaign from the bar. I know some people may not like that idea, but it did give everyone a chance to get a drink ready. Sometimes, people won't see what's going on at the table with the wedding party getting a drink poured. I think you made a good call by not pouring a drink and delivering it to every guest. I don't drink, and would just leave mine untouched.

mimivac

I would also appreciate a heads-up that toasts are happening soon and that I am welcome to get a glass of champagne or another drink of my choice at the bar.

lc07

Can I just say my friends and I love you that champagne is offered at the bar all night? 

I irks me a little that you would be served drinks at your table and no one else would be. Kind of like when the staff makes plates for the B+G at buffet weddings but everyone else had to go through the buffet, but it's not something I would even roll my eyes at. 

I like a heads up on toasts for lots of reasons, so that I don't head off to the bathroom, so that I make sure I have a full drink (some toasts go on foreeevverrr)

At my wedding, we did something very similar to what you are doing. We hosted champagne as a part of the regular bar all night but we wanted people to toast with whatever they wanted to drink and not feel obligated to drink champagne. There was an announcement that toasts were coming up in a few minutes, and someone discreetly brought champagne to my H and I. We had a cocktail style reception and he and I were sitting on lounge furniture at the time. However, we had servers bringing drinks to all guests all night if they didn't want to get up to go to the bar so it was a little different.

theartistformerlyknownas

I'm honestly not sure if and when waiters will be taking drink orders tableside, but they'll be serving salads while the toasts are happening because we will have just sat down to eat. The bar will be open during dinner. We won't get some magical whiteglove service at our table that other people are deprived of, we'll just have our drinks dropped off during our entrance/before we sit down. 

lc07

Sounds totally fine to me.

Nymeru

When it came time for our toast, we had a bottle of sparkling wine and a bottle of sparkling cider brought to every table so people could choose to have something bubbly for the toast instead of their wine or beer.

Maggie0829

lolo883 said:

I'm honestly not sure if and when waiters will be taking drink orders tableside, but they'll be serving salads while the toasts are happening because we will have just sat down to eat. The bar will be open during dinner. We won't get some magical whiteglove service at our table that other people are deprived of, we'll just have our drinks dropped off during our entrance/before we sit down. 

What you are planning is totally fine. At this point I think people are over thinking it and looking too much into it. At our wedding H and I had our toasting flutes filled with our preferred beverage and placed at our place setting before we entered. Like you said, it wasn't like we had fancy dressed waiter come only over to us and feed us our food, cut our meat and dote solely over us.

KatieinBkln

Maggie0829 said:

lolo883 said:

I'm honestly not sure if and when waiters will be taking drink orders tableside, but they'll be serving salads while the toasts are happening because we will have just sat down to eat. The bar will be open during dinner. We won't get some magical whiteglove service at our table that other people are deprived of, we'll just have our drinks dropped off during our entrance/before we sit down. 

What you are planning is totally fine. At this point I think people are over thinking it and looking too much into it. At our wedding H and I had our toasting flutes filled with our preferred beverage and placed at our place setting before we entered. Like you said, it wasn't like we had fancy dressed waiter come only over to us and feed us our food, cut our meat and dote solely over us.

You didn't have that?! But how else were people supposed to tell that it was Your Special Day?