So..photographer will be 7 months pregnant...

jimandpam87

I found out recently that my photographer will be 7 months pregnant at the time of our wedding.  In fact, ours will be the last wedding she does before the baby arrives.  Don't get me wrong, I was ecstatic for her, but now I'm a little concerned. 

I LOVE this woman's pictures.  The price is great for the professional and creative quality of the pictures.  I have no reason other than this to reconsider using her.  But the question is, what if complications from the pregnancy arise that prevent her from shooting our wedding?  I'm mostly concerned that something will happen the week before and I won't be able to find anyone else to step in.  I'd feel like a huge bitch backing out b/c of this, but at the same time, I have to consider the possibility that she may have to back out in the weeks before, leaving us with no photographer.

What would you do in this situation?  Would you continue with her and hope that nothing happens?  Would you get your deposit back?  I really have no experience with pregnancy, so I don't have a clue what it's like to be 7 months pregnant sans any problems.  I know there are risks with any photographer, but I feel like this is a bigger gamble than most situations.

Ultimately, I don't want to find another photographer, but should I just to keep my own sanity?  I'm already having issues with some of my other vendors, so I feel like this is going to stress me out even more. 

chibiyui

I would not worry about it.

Does she work alone? If she has a backup photog, they could be your primary worse comes to worse.

misshart00

Also wouldn't worry about it. If there are complications, I doubt they'll pop up right before your wedding (it would most likely be an ongoing issue). When I was 7 months pregnant, I got in a bad car accident and was still only in the hospital for a day.

What you can do is go ahead and talk to her about it and see what she thinks.

jimandpam87

chibiyui said:

I would not worry about it. Does she work alone? If she has a backup photog, they could be your primary worse comes to worse.

Unfortunately, there's no second photographer.  If there was, this probably wouldn't even be an issue.  She's stated that she prefers to work alone, as other photographers don't understand how she works.

southernbelle0915

Are you worried she's going to deliver early? Or not make it to your wedding? 

I would discuss what her back-up plan is - not just because she's pregnant. She needs a back-up plan no matter what - if she gets sick, has an emergency, etc. If you're satisfied with her back-up plan, then keep with her. If not, ask her about severing the contract. It may mean losing your deposit.

ETA: Since you asked, I would not worry about this.

QueerFemme

jimandpam87 said:

I found out recently that my photographer will be 7 months pregnant at the time of our wedding.  In fact, ours will be the last wedding she does before the baby arrives.  Don't get me wrong, I was ecstatic for her, but now I'm a little concerned. 

I LOVE this woman's pictures.  The price is great for the professional and creative quality of the pictures.  I have no reason other than this to reconsider using her.  But the question is, what if complications from the pregnancy arise that prevent her from shooting our wedding?  I'm mostly concerned that something will happen the week before and I won't be able to find anyone else to step in.  I'd feel like a huge bitch backing out b/c of this, but at the same time, I have to consider the possibility that she may have to back out in the weeks before, leaving us with no photographer.

What would you do in this situation?  Would you continue with her and hope that nothing happens?  Would you get your deposit back?  I really have no experience with pregnancy, so I don't have a clue what it's like to be 7 months pregnant sans any problems.  I know there are risks with any photographer, but I feel like this is a bigger gamble than most situations.

Ultimately, I don't want to find another photographer, but should I just to keep my own sanity?  I'm already having issues with some of my other vendors, so I feel like this is going to stress me out even more. 

Ask her what her backup plans are.

theartistformerlyknownas

Another vote not to worry about it. She shouldn't be too restricted yet by 7mo, and if she has a second shooter she can count on them to do some of the running around/weird angle shots that she might be less comfortable with at that point. 

twitterbird

Ask her if she has arrangements for her clients for an alternate photographer if she can't do the wedding for any reason. I know where I live many of the photographers know each other really well.

jimandpam87

She vaguely alluded to back-up plans when she told me she was pregnant...basically she has none.  She essentially said that if something happens, we'd get our deposit back.  That's it. 

I can ask her specifically about this, but the overall tone from her was that, if anything happened, we'd get our money back but we'd be on our own in terms of finding a replacement.

jimandpam87

twitterbird said:

Ask her if she has arrangements for her clients for an alternate photographer if she can't do the wedding for any reason. I know where I live many of the photographers know each other really well.

I think I will do this, thanks!

manateehugger

jimandpam87 said:

She vaguely alluded to back-up plans when she told me she was pregnant...basically she has none.  She essentially said that if something happens, we'd get our deposit back.  That's it. 

I can ask her specifically about this, but the overall tone from her was that, if anything happened, we'd get our money back but we'd be on our own in terms of finding a replacement.

I'd express that you aren't really comfortable with this arrangement and ask if she has connections with other photographers that could be an alternate if necessary. 

ETA: Our photographer was male and therefore not in risk of pregnancy complications, but we still had a clause in our contract about alternates in the case of illness, car accident, etc. 

Maggie0829

What QueerFemme said. Ask your photographer about any back-up measures she is taking if she is put on bed rest or something of that nature.

mysticl

Have you signed a contract? It's illegal to fire a woman for being pregnant. So I'm guessing if you tried to back out of the contract because she's pregnant she could sue you. Actually, if you try to back out of a signed contract she can sue you anyhow. I would simply ask if she has someone she can recommend if she is unable to shoot your wedding. Our photographer had a line in his contract that he would provide a substitute if he was unable to be at our wedding.

jimandpam87

southernbelle0915 said:

Are you worried she's going to deliver early? Or not make it to your wedding? 

I would discuss what her back-up plan is - not just because she's pregnant. She needs a back-up plan no matter what - if she gets sick, has an emergency, etc. If you're satisfied with her back-up plan, then keep with her. If not, ask her about severing the contract. It may mean losing your deposit.

ETA: Since you asked, I would not worry about this.

Just wanted to add, there is no contract to sever (unless you count emails).  I think we could get our deposit back if we backed out.

QueerFemme

jimandpam87 said:

She vaguely alluded to back-up plans when she told me she was pregnant...basically she has none.  She essentially said that if something happens, we'd get our deposit back.  That's it. 

I can ask her specifically about this, but the overall tone from her was that, if anything happened, we'd get our money back but we'd be on our own in terms of finding a replacement.

7 months shouldn't be an issue, but I get why you are concerned.  I would talk to her and ask her to find you a backup person that would be committed to stepping in if something happens. 

daria24

Pregnancy aside, it's redonk that she doesn't have a backup plan written into her contract. All my vendors had language about a backup in case of a personal emergency, illness, etc. They all explicitly stated who would be contacted to fill in.  

jimandpam87

martha1818 said:

Honestly, regardless of the pregnancy thing, I think it's kind of unprofessional to not have a back-up plan for an event as large as a wedding. I would be worried too and would find a replacement that has an adequate back-up plan. Not trying to discriminate against her because she's pregnant, but I would want to make sure there's a back-up plan regardless!

I think I'm going to ask her about finding a replacement.  I'm a little worried that, since there is no contract, we'd be taking her word that someone would be there. 

manateehugger

jimandpam87 said:

martha1818 said:

Honestly, regardless of the pregnancy thing, I think it's kind of unprofessional to not have a back-up plan for an event as large as a wedding. I would be worried too and would find a replacement that has an adequate back-up plan. Not trying to discriminate against her because she's pregnant, but I would want to make sure there's a back-up plan regardless!

I think I'm going to ask her about finding a replacement.  I'm a little worried that, since there is no contract, we'd be taking her word that someone would be there. 

Whoa, whoa, whoa - you don't have a contract at all? You need something in writing STAT. 

short+sassy

I don't blame you for being concerned.  Even for healthy women, there are all kinds of things that can happen and force a pregnant woman to go on bed rest or deliver prematurely.

My first step would be to talk to her about your concerns.  Maybe she has already spoken to a colleague or her assistant about "what ifs" and has someone who could step in, in a worst case scenario.  I realize that would not be ideal for you, but at least it would be a Plan B in the unlikely (but possible) event she can't be at your wedding.

I had something like this happen for my wedding with my hairdresser.  I got married OOT, back in my hometown and was SO excited to have the hairdresser who did my hair for prom...many, many years ago, lol...do my hair for my wedding.  She has done my mom and sister's hair for years also.  I went to her the day before my wedding for the trial.  Then I got a call from her that evening that she was in the hospital, the doctors thought she might have cancer (as it turned out she didn't, phew!), but she had already lined up one of her colleagues to take care of me in the morning.

I do realize it is a whole lot easier to find a pitch hitter for a hairdo than it is a photographer, but just an example that crazy, unexpected things happen. 

jimandpam87

daria24 said:

Pregnancy aside, it's redonk that she doesn't have a backup plan written into her contract. All my vendors had language about a backup in case of a personal emergency, illness, etc. They all explicitly stated who would be contacted to fill in.  

Now I'm worried that there's no contract lol.  We're getting married in a small town in MS, and NONE of our vendors have contracts except the DJ.  I feel like this could get us into trouble...

misshart00

jimandpam87 said:

daria24 said:

Pregnancy aside, it's redonk that she doesn't have a backup plan written into her contract. All my vendors had language about a backup in case of a personal emergency, illness, etc. They all explicitly stated who would be contacted to fill in.  

Now I'm worried that there's no contract lol.  We're getting married in a small town in MS, and NONE of our vendors have contracts except the DJ.  I feel like this could get us into trouble...


Yes! Get contracts ASAP. They don't have to be long and complicated. Just what's expected of both sides.

photokitty

Lurkers - always make sure your contract has a clause for how the vendor handles emergencies. Most photogs have backups in place - they cover for each other in case of emergency. You should never sign a contract that does not clearly spell out how they handle emergencies.

Getting your money back would not fix anything. It doesn't matter how amazing the photog is, do not sign them if they do not have a plan to have someone photograph your wedding if there is an emergency...car accident, illness, anything can happen at any time - pregnancy is not the largest concern here.

OP, if you photog can not offer a backup solution for any reason then I would try and get out of the contract.

jimandpam87

PDKH said:

jimandpam87 said:

martha1818 said:

Honestly, regardless of the pregnancy thing, I think it's kind of unprofessional to not have a back-up plan for an event as large as a wedding. I would be worried too and would find a replacement that has an adequate back-up plan. Not trying to discriminate against her because she's pregnant, but I would want to make sure there's a back-up plan regardless!

I think I'm going to ask her about finding a replacement.  I'm a little worried that, since there is no contract, we'd be taking her word that someone would be there. 

Whoa, whoa, whoa - you don't have a contract at all? You need something in writing STAT. 

The only thing we have in writing are the basic terms via email.  This is true for almost all of our vendors (caterer, florist, etc.).  I guess it's just the way things are done in this town?  Idk, but I've always been wary of it. 

manateehugger

jimandpam87 said:

daria24 said:

Pregnancy aside, it's redonk that she doesn't have a backup plan written into her contract. All my vendors had language about a backup in case of a personal emergency, illness, etc. They all explicitly stated who would be contacted to fill in.  

Now I'm worried that there's no contract lol.  We're getting married in a small town in MS, and NONE of our vendors have contracts except the DJ.  I feel like this could get us into trouble...

Holy crap. Go back to EVERY vendor now and demand that you get something in writing. Have you paid deposits to these people?

You have NO guarantee that anyone will do anything for your wedding (except your DJ) and no legal recourse if things do not go as expected or planned. 

You are leaving yourself entirely vulnerable to being swindled. Do not give ANYONE money without a suitable contract signed by both parties. 

Maggie0829

jimandpam87 said:

daria24 said:

Pregnancy aside, it's redonk that she doesn't have a backup plan written into her contract. All my vendors had language about a backup in case of a personal emergency, illness, etc. They all explicitly stated who would be contacted to fill in.  

Now I'm worried that there's no contract lol.  We're getting married in a small town in MS, and NONE of our vendors have contracts except the DJ.  I feel like this could get us into trouble...

I would be worried as well. A contract is there to not only protect her as a vendor but you as a client. Get a contract with her ASAP! Also get a contract with the rest of your vendors. I don't care how small a town you live in, if your vendors do not show up you don't have any legal document to sue or get your money back.

daria24

Yeah I'd be worried not to have contracts. Most of my vendors just had a simple one page (in the case of hair & makeup it was a paragraph). They just stated the cost, pay schedule, refund/cancellation policy, and emergency info. 

A contract protects both parties, no way in hell would I have been comfortable not having a written agreement. 

jimandpam87

Everyone (specifically my parents who are paying for all this) pacified me about the contracts by saying that the vendors' reputations would prevent them from doing anything crazy like not showing up.  While this is probably true, I think I will go ahead and ask for something written.  This is all amplified by the fact that I am planning this from 6 hours away.  But I think for my own peace of mind, I'll need the written documents.  Thanks guys!

jimandpam87

Also, does email count as a sort of "verbal" contract?  Most of the vendors said they just use email communication as back-up documentation if something was needed later on.  I do have most of the terms via email for each vendor.

manateehugger

jimandpam87 said:

Everyone (specifically my parents who are paying for all this) pacified me about the contracts by saying that the vendors' reputations would prevent them from doing anything crazy like not showing up.  While this is probably true, I think I will go ahead and ask for something written.  This is all amplified by the fact that I am planning this from 6 hours away.  But I think for my own peace of mind, I'll need the written documents.  Thanks guys!

But you have zero guarantee of this. None. 

And in my mind, any reputable business insists on written contracts for their own sake and protection.

misshart00

jimandpam87 said:

Everyone (specifically my parents who are paying for all this) pacified me about the contracts by saying that the vendors' reputations would prevent them from doing anything crazy like not showing up.  While this is probably true, I think I will go ahead and ask for something written.  This is all amplified by the fact that I am planning this from 6 hours away.  But I think for my own peace of mind, I'll need the written documents.  Thanks guys!

If you want, you can write them based on your emails then ask them to sign them.

jimandpam87

martha1818 said:

No matter their "reputation," I would never in a million years give a vendor my hard-earned money if they refused to have a written agreement! (Not saying they are refusing, just making the point that reputation doesn't trump the need to legally/financially protect yourself).

I totally agree with this, but for some reason I was the only one who was worried about it.  Also wanted to add, we haven't paid the deposits on the caterer or florist.  Apparently this is "busy season" and they are reluctant to respond to emails/phone calls.  Seeing as how I am 6 hours away, I can't go visit them in person.  Ultimately, the whole thing has been a little bit of a nightmare getting in touch with these people consistently.