Summer Camp Weddings

anniewalkerx

I'm posting on the Etiquette board because I'm looking for the truth, my apologies if this isn't exactly an Etiquette question..

I'm starting to consider having our wedding at a summer camp - there are a lot of great things about it:

-huge amount of space

-lots of things to do(canoe! swimming pool! archery range! just sit out in the sun by the lake and drink! etc)

-cheap to rent out

-beautiful scenery

I'm worried that this is one of those ideas that guests will secretly hate. Everyone could stay overnight at the camp for free (we'd pay for that as a part of the site fee) but keep in mind it's a camp, so we're talking a bunch of bunk beds in cabins. Could be fun if you're with all your old friends! Could also be really, really annoying if you're not the camping type. Of course people could stay off site at a hotel if they want, or drive back home if they live close enough.  

It'll be a two hour drive for our closest guests(about 40% of the attendees). The others all live out of state, so they'll definitely need overnight accommodations. We'll be hosting everyone properly with food, drinks, dancing, etc - no gaps, no cash bars, none of that. I guess my question is - would you WANT to go to a summer camp wedding? Or would you go because you felt obligated and complain in the car ride on the way home about how annoying it was to be in a random field or whatever? Am I over thinking this?

Anyway, thoughts appreciated, thank you!

misshart00

I think having a wedding there is fine, but I would be finding my own accommodations.

AddieCake

Would I have to stay at the camp? Frankly, if I'm going to a wedding, I'm there for the wedding and reception. I'm not interested in making a weekend out of it and hanging out and doing activities or sleeping in bunk beds.

anniewalkerx

Yeah, I totally get that! And no, people would definitely not have to stay. 

thisismynickname2

My decision to stay and camp would depend entirely on my relation to the happy couple and how many other people I know there. It could be super fun with the right crowd. As long as you help your non-campers be comfortable as much as possible I bet you're fine with this plan. You may want to book a block of rooms at a hotel and provide a shuttle in addition to providing on-site cabin space. ETA: find and stock up on nice-smelling bug repellent!

msuprincess04

I think as long as you are approaching it from the view that it may not be everyone's cup of tea and they may choose to stay elsewhere, you can absolutly do it that way. Where brides run into trouble is attempting to collect fees from their guests, requiring their guests stay there, or picking a location with no reasonable lodging alternatives. You aren't doing any of that, so it would be fine.

No, I wouldn't want to stay in bunkbed cabins shared with a bunch of other people. But, if I could drive in from my hotel (without paying extra fees), and could enjoy the activities with everyone else then it'd be fun.

misshart00

Also agree with PPs. If you can cover the entire fee for the camp without people staying there, and you aren't requiring it, I think it's totally fine to have your wedding there. And you can offer those accommodations if anyone wants to do that.

AddieCake

Then I say it's a good idea.

Fairyjen1

    It depends on your guest list. Everyone will say to think of your elderly guests (and you should) but we are only having 18 or so guests and the most elderly are our parents (who would be miffed to be thought of as elderly) and they would all be good with this. If you ARE having a large guest list with a lot of older guests they may be put off. 

    For the record, I'm the least outdoorsy of my group and I would enjoy a weekend camping wedding since you mentioned there'd be cabins. I can rough it to a point, but I'm not into tent camping and would probably decline if that was the only option, or only come for the wedding itself and not the whole weekend. 

jules3964

I think it sounds fun, IF I had enough friends/family going that I would want to share a cabin with. But I'm the camping/cabin type and not everyone is. I would definitely look into whether you can get a hotel block nearby and recommend that as an option for people who don't want to stay onsite.

You'll never please everyone. See my thread today about my FFIL complaining about no TV in the nearby hotel rooms. 

As long as you are hosting everyone properly and there are hotel options nearby, I see no problem with this location.

mysticl

Personally, I wouldn't enjoy it. I don't canoe or do archery. I swim but I wouldn't take my bathing suit to a wedding. I really wouldn't want to sleep in bunks and I really, really wouldn't want to get ready for a wedding in those kinds of accommodations. I love the outdoors but I do not camp and have no desire to do so.

mysticl

One thing you didn't mention.  What are the bathroom facilities like?

[Deleted User]

If there was running water for toilets and showers, I might enjoy myself.  If I had to share a cabin with my parents I'd kill myself.  If I snagged a co-ed cabin with some of my cousins though, we'd whoop it up all night and do some moonlight canoeing.  If your friends decide to take advantage of the campsite, give them a list of things to remember to pack, like bedsheets or a sleeping bag, their own pillow, towels, shampoo/toothpaste/etc.  This much extra stuff might not be possible for people who are flying in to bring.

[Deleted User]

martha1818 said:

Sorry, but I absolutely hate camping (I know I sound super high maintenance). I had to go to a wedding this summer where we had to sleep in tents outside and I HATED it with a passion. But lots of people love camping so this is just my opinion.

The activities and everything sound fun though! I personally would only go if I was staying at a proper hotel. Since most of the guests will be travelling from out of town could you arrange for shuttle service to the nearby hotels, so they aren't stuck camping if it's not their thing, yet can still drink without driving?

For the love of God, why did you have to stay in a tent for a wedding?! I wouldn't do that for my own family.

anniewalkerx

This is a relief to hear so far. Thanks everyone! And good advice re: hotel blocks. 

jenijoyk

Full disclosure: I attended a wedding like this and I secretly hated it. But I didn't know anybody, it was my boyfriends' ex's wedding, the other guests were kind of terrible (there were MULTIPLE coreographed musical numbers at the rehearsal dinner... like the groomsmen literally ran around singing showtunes where they changed the words to be about the couple.... sooo muuuuch cringing....), I was forced to participate in "field games" (read: Hunger Games With Crazy Hippies), I was eaten by mosquitos. There were not one, not two, but THREE separate Pablo Neruda readings in the ceremony. I could go on. Worst. Wedding. Ever.

But, if it were one of my best friends having a summer camp wedding, I would be there with bells on. I would laugh about my fear of bugs, and I would feel OK turning down Volleyball Tournies To The Death. I would LOVE staying in bunk beds with my girlfriends (my fiance might not appreciate it though).

In other words, I think it would be really really fun for your nearest and dearest adventurous friends. But what percentage of your guest list are they? Will you have any Cantankerous Old People Guests? I'm paranoid my COPGs are going to be complaining about my outdoor reception, not enough heat lamps, and having to go up a non-ADA compliance step to get to the restroom, and I'm getting married in the middle of a big City.

jdluvr06

As long as you don't require people to stay there I say go for it.

anniewalkerx

Oops, posted the above before I read a bunch of the comments - here are some answers to the questions above:

 - The wedding and reception area would absolutely have normal bathrooms, etc - it's not a campground. 

 - The wedding would be your standard ceremony/drinks/dinner/dancing affair, all the activities are just if you decide to turn it into a weekend trip, which some people might. So - no need to pack that swimsuit if you're just in for the night. 

- There is a hotel nearby that people could stay at

- Thanks for being honest for those of you who are saying you'd hate it - I get it, not everyone's thing! Good for me to take into consideration while planning. 

NYCMercedes

msuprincess04 said:

I think as long as you are approaching it from the view that it may not be everyone's cup of tea and they may choose to stay elsewhere, you can absolutly do it that way. Where brides run into trouble is attempting to collect fees from their guests, requiring their guests stay there, or picking a location with no reasonable lodging alternatives. You aren't doing any of that, so it would be fine.

No, I wouldn't want to stay in bunkbed cabins shared with a bunch of other people. But, if I could drive in from my hotel (without paying extra fees), and could enjoy the activities with everyone else then it'd be fun.

This is my opinion exactly, and I'm of your parents' generation. It sounds like you have everything covered and it sounds like fun.

[Deleted User]

How many cabins would you have access to? As in, would everyone have to fill in the cabins before you could open another one? Like, could four of us each take the bottom bunk of an 8person cabin, 2 people stay in another 8person cabin, and 6 stay in a third? And would we know the arrangements beforehand? Because I'm serious about killing someone if I have to stay in a cabin with my parents. And would we have to arrange these accommodations through you? Is that something you want to be dealing with on top of planning your wedding?

anniewalkerx

jenijoyk said:

Full disclosure: I attended a wedding like this and I secretly hated it. But I didn't know anybody, it was my boyfriends' ex's wedding, the other guests were kind of terrible (there were MULTIPLE coreographed musical numbers at the rehearsal dinner... like the groomsmen literally ran around singing showtunes where they changed the words to be about the couple.... sooo muuuuch cringing....), I was forced to participate in "field games" (read: Hunger Games With Crazy Hippies), I was eaten by mosquitos. There were not one, not two, but THREE separate Pablo Neruda readings in the ceremony. I could go on. Worst. Wedding. Ever.

But, if it were one of my best friends having a summer camp wedding, I would be there with bells on. I would laugh about my fear of bugs, and I would feel OK turning down Volleyball Tournies To The Death. I would LOVE staying in bunk beds with my girlfriends (my fiance might not appreciate it though).

In other words, I think it would be really really fun for your nearest and dearest adventurous friends. But what percentage of your guest list are they? Will you have any Cantankerous Old People Guests? I'm paranoid my COPGs are going to be complaining about my outdoor reception, not enough heat lamps, and having to go up a non-ADA compliance step to get to the restroom, and I'm getting married in the middle of a big City.

OK, actually laughing about that wedding. No choreography, don't hold my own version of the hunger games, check and check.

 Good point re: COPG's, didn't think of that!

. 

jdluvr06

jenijoyk said:

Full disclosure: I attended a wedding like this and I secretly hated it. But I didn't know anybody, it was my boyfriends' ex's wedding, the other guests were kind of terrible (there were MULTIPLE coreographed musical numbers at the rehearsal dinner... like the groomsmen literally ran around singing showtunes where they changed the words to be about the couple.... sooo muuuuch cringing....), I was forced to participate in "field games" (read: Hunger Games With Crazy Hippies), I was eaten by mosquitos. There were not one, not two, but THREE separate Pablo Neruda readings in the ceremony. I could go on. Worst. Wedding. Ever.

But, if it were one of my best friends having a summer camp wedding, I would be there with bells on. I would laugh about my fear of bugs, and I would feel OK turning down Volleyball Tournies To The Death. I would LOVE staying in bunk beds with my girlfriends (my fiance might not appreciate it though).

In other words, I think it would be really really fun for your nearest and dearest adventurous friends. But what percentage of your guest list are they? Will you have any Cantankerous Old People Guests? I'm paranoid my COPGs are going to be complaining about my outdoor reception, not enough heat lamps, and having to go up a non-ADA compliance step to get to the restroom, and I'm getting married in the middle of a big City.

I don't know. I think I can do some damage in Hunger Games like field games. I would go all Katniss over their asses.

anniewalkerx

adk19 said:

How many cabins would you have access to? As in, would everyone have to fill in the cabins before you could open another one? Like, could four of us each take the bottom bunk of an 8person cabin, 2 people stay in another 8person cabin, and 6 stay in a third? And would we know the arrangements beforehand? Because I'm serious about killing someone if I have to stay in a cabin with my parents. And would we have to arrange these accommodations through you? Is that something you want to be dealing with on top of planning your wedding?

I actually don't know the answer to this yet, haven't gotten that far with the venue. I would hope that we could sprinkle people throughout various cabins without filling them up completely, but can't say for sure. A good question to ask them. I would not want your parents murder on my hands.          

Yeah, booking the accommodation would be through me. I wouldn't love the extra coordination, but I have a feeling most people will want to stay off-site anyway.

mschristie123

I'm just wondering about the time commitment that you're anticipating from your guests. You mentioned a lot of (fun!) activities, but that is a lot on top of an actual wedding ceremony + some kind of reception. Are you anticipating/expecting them to make a weekend out of it? Are there activities that you want people involved with that extend beyond the wedding day? Because I would probably just spend one night (the night of the wedding) at the campground or the hotel and be on my merry way. Unless you were my BFF or close family.

wandajune6

I'd go to the wedding but would find my own accommodations.

No one else in my family would go.

anniewalkerx

mschristie123 said:

I'm just wondering about the time commitment that you're anticipating from your guests. You mentioned a lot of (fun!) activities, but that is a lot on top of an actual wedding ceremony + some kind of reception. Are you anticipating/expecting them to make a weekend out of it? Are there activities that you want people involved with that extend beyond the wedding day? Because I would probably just spend one night (the night of the wedding) at the campground or the hotel and be on my merry way. Unless you were my BFF or close family.

The only time commitment would be the ceremony and reception - if people want to stay longer, they are welcome to, we would have the camp all weekend due to contractual obligations. But we think only wedding party and a few family members may want that. It's fine if they don't. We're pretty early into the planning stage.

Jen4948

I'd attend the wedding but unless I was really close to one or both of the couple I probably wouldn't camp over for the weekend.  I'd just be there for the ceremony and reception.

That said, it sounds like you are trying to take everyone's needs into consideration, which is great!  You go girl.

[Deleted User]

If this was me or one of my cousins getting married, we'd make a weekend of it.  We'd have an "old people" cabin that would consist of my parents and uncles/aunts and would be just as noisy as the rest.  We'd have at least two cabins of cousins and their kids.  And we'd have lots of late night Settlers of Catan (board game) tournaments.  These would start before the reception ended.  We'd canoe and swim all day, and my mom would show us all up on the archery range.  If the kitchen wasn't available, we'd arrange for someone to keep us stocked in donuts and OJ for breakfast, someone else would order subs for lunch, and we'd probably cook hot dogs over the fire in the evening.  Oh, and lots of coolers of beer.  This place does allow beer, right?  If not, forget everything I've said, I'm drinking my beer at the hotel.

anniewalkerx

adk19 said:

If this was me or one of my cousins getting married, we'd make a weekend of it.  We'd have an "old people" cabin that would consist of my parents and uncles/aunts and would be just as noisy as the rest.  We'd have at least two cabins of cousins and their kids.  And we'd have lots of late night Settlers of Catan (board game) tournaments.  These would start before the reception ended.  We'd canoe and swim all day, and my mom would show us all up on the archery range.  If the kitchen wasn't available, we'd arrange for someone to keep us stocked in donuts and OJ for breakfast, someone else would order subs for lunch, and we'd probably cook hot dogs over the fire in the evening.  Oh, and lots of coolers of beer.  This place does allow beer, right?  If not, forget everything I've said, I'm drinking my beer at the hotel.

These are fantastic ideas. Please become an event planner and I will hire you. 

After reading through all your thoughtful advice, I think it will work - as long as we stress that no one is expected to stay there overnight, or make a weekend out of it - but if they would like to, hey, free weekend retreat in the woods! 

P.S. Alcohol is allowed. If the place didn't allow beer, the bride would also be hanging out at the hotel.

mysticl

anniewalkerx said:

Oops, posted the above before I read a bunch of the comments - here are some answers to the questions above:

 - The wedding and reception area would absolutely have normal bathrooms, etc - it's not a campground. 

 - The wedding would be your standard ceremony/drinks/dinner/dancing affair, all the activities are just if you decide to turn it into a weekend trip, which some people might. So - no need to pack that swimsuit if you're just in for the night. 

- There is a hotel nearby that people could stay at

- Thanks for being honest for those of you who are saying you'd hate it - I get it, not everyone's thing! Good for me to take into consideration while planning. 

So each cabin has it's own bathroom?  No one needs to go outside to use the facilities in the middle of the night?

ETA: Bathroom and shower?

anniewalkerx

mysticl said:

anniewalkerx said:

Oops, posted the above before I read a bunch of the comments - here are some answers to the questions above:

 - The wedding and reception area would absolutely have normal bathrooms, etc - it's not a campground. 

 - The wedding would be your standard ceremony/drinks/dinner/dancing affair, all the activities are just if you decide to turn it into a weekend trip, which some people might. So - no need to pack that swimsuit if you're just in for the night. 

- There is a hotel nearby that people could stay at

- Thanks for being honest for those of you who are saying you'd hate it - I get it, not everyone's thing! Good for me to take into consideration while planning. 

So each cabin has it's own bathroom?  No one needs to go outside to use the facilities in the middle of the night?

ETA: Bathroom and shower?

The cabins are situated around a big lodge - the lodge is where the ceremony/reception would take place. The lodge has bathrooms, so for the wedding, everyone's covered.

I believe the cabins have shared bathrooms/showers (I know, I know..) but like I said above, no one is obligated to stay in them - only people who might have fun doing so, or those who want free accommodation.