Did you write your own vows?

shelbygetsmarried1214

I'm deciding if I want us to write our own or if I should choose a few lines from one of our favorite poems. Did you write your own? If you did, what was your inspiration? I'd love to see what you came up with!

Maggie0829

No we did not write our own vows.  I researched vows on the internet and pulled bits and pieces I liked from each one and reworked them to make something cohesive.  I think I had three different sets and I gave them to H to look over and in the end we agreed on the same one.

Vows:

Name, I take you to be my husband/wife; to have and to hold, from this day forward.  I give to you my unending love and devotion.  I promise to be true to you, to cherish you, and to share my thoughts, hopes and dreams with you.  I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you, my best friend.

Ring Exchange:

I give this ring as my gift to you.  Wear it and think of me and know that I love you.

emmyg65

Nope. We had a Quaker wedding and used the traditional Quaker vows, slightly modified to remove a reference to God (I'm nonreligious). I didn't want to write our own because I have a hard enough time verbalizing my feelings privately, let alone in front of all my family and friends. I prefer to keep those raw expressions of our love private. We loved using the traditional vows and how they tied us to generations of my husband's family who had recited the same promises to each other.

Our vows:

"In the presence of these our family and friends I, ______, take thee, ______, to be my husband/wife, promising to be unto thee a loving and faithful wife/husband so long as we both shall live."

shelbygetsmarried1214

I love them! It's perfectly concise and extremely sweet. Thanks for sharing!

southernbelle0915

We wrote our own as well as our ceremony. We built off of classic vows, but changed the words, deleted some things, added some things, and used our love and relationship as inspiration. We didn't use any inside jokes or cheesy stuff - for us, we didn't feel it was appropriate for making our life-long commitment.

mysticl

DH saw people saying their own vows on a tv show and said he didn't like that.  We ended up having an Anglican minister and he didn't give us input on the vows (he refuses to use the word "obey" so it was fine).

chasseuse

Nope. Catholic weddings use the same vows--it's part of the communal tradition.

Kahlyla

Nope - we used the Secular Humanist suggestions that our officiant gave us, cut out a lot of the optional elements, and added two brief readings.

Cookie Pusher

DH and I did a handfasting then each took about 30 seconds to say a few words to each other during the ring exchange.

artbyallie

We wrote ours in sonnet form because H has a degree in poetry and my degree is theatre (with a particular love for Shakespeare!)

Obviously, I don't advise writing in verse unless that's something you do normally, but it gave us a good structure and length. You don't want your vows to take more than a couple minutes each at most. We've gone to weddings where they wrote freaking love letters that were way longer than they needed to be.

Focus on the promises you're making and skip the fluff some people include like how you met and so on.

winelover123

We wrote our own. I got a little tipsy one night and the feelings just flowed out. I edited them in the morning. We both actually included an inside joke in our vows.

ElcaB

We'll be piecing together different parts of different vows we like, then editing to fit our likes/dislikes (Kind of like Maggie did). 

MsNise812

We just finished writing our own. I just thought about why I love him so much and how he has helped me become a better person. We have been together for 10 years so basically my vows focused the life we have built together so far and what I promise to continue to do. FI wrote his vows in a form of a poem (although it does not rhyme, more so free verse) as I write poetry and he stated he wanted to honor what he considers to be one of my biggest gifts. We wrote our vows separately but ended up with very similar promises to one another. Good luck!!

Alikat9614

Nope. We found some online that we liked and went with it. They are pretty traditional, but also reflect us nicely as a couple. Less stressful this was for us and we both agreed early on we weren't going to write our own. ETA:______________________________ I, (name), take you, (name), to be my lawfully wedded (husband/wife), my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live.

JennyColada

Our officiant wrote them for us and we told her that we'd like to keep it daily traditional:

"Jennifer, do you come freely today, before your family and friends to formally declare your love and commitment to Armen? Do you promise to care for him in times of joy, sorrow, and challenge? Do you take Armen as your lawfully wedded husband to have and to hold from this day forward in sickness and in health and forsaking all others be faithful to him as long as you both shall live? Will you love, honor, and forever cherish him as your husband? "I do." "

pineapplesmoothie

I copied mine from all over the internet and changed then to fit my needs:

Vows:

I, ______, take you, ______, as my husband/wife. I promise to be patient with you and the circumstances in our lives. I promise to be kind to all people we come across.  I will laugh with you in times of trouble and stand by your side.  

I pledge to encourage and support you through our walk together.

Ring vows:

Bride/Groom: This ring is my promise to accept your imperfections and to recognize your beauty
Officiant:As you go about your daily work and play, your ring is a tangible reminder of the promises you’ve made to each other. It will be with you, visible, worn openly and with pride.That's it! I may tweak it between now and the ceremony.

charlottesmom0626

Our officiant wouldn't let us write our own.
He suggested we choose from a book or look up some online to personalize them, but he said he once did a wedding where the bride had pages and pages of heartfelt "vows" (more of a letter) and the groom said "I love you, you're hot, I can't wait to marry you" and the bride was PISSED.

jenijoyk

We're working on our vows and ceremony this weekend.... but seriously I have no idea how this is going to work since I can't even read these message board posts without crying at my desk like a crazy person!!!! Aaaahhhh! Seriously I need our vows to be like 10 words or I will lose it up there and ugly cry in front of everyone I know. Terrible.

artbyallie

jenijoyk said:

We're working on our vows and ceremony this weekend.... but seriously I have no idea how this is going to work since I can't even read these message board posts without crying at my desk like a crazy person!!!! Aaaahhhh! Seriously I need our vows to be like 10 words or I will lose it up there and ugly cry in front of everyone I know. Terrible.

If you're really worried about crying during your vows, you could just have your officiant read them out and only ask you to answer "I do" or "I will."

thenewmrsq

DH and I wrote our own vows ... and we sang them to each other! We practiced them beforehand, and then during our ceremony rehearsal we both cried, but during our ceremony, it was perfect! We sang them to each other, not to the guests, and tried to incorporate all the standards "promises" that traditional vows include. If it is important to you to write your own, make sure your fiance is on board ... mine was, so it worked for us! Good luck!

destinationtake2

One thing I really love is starting with "I give myself to you to be your wife..." instead of "I take you to be my husband." I don't know why but I love that slight twist on the traditional wording.

artbyallie

Knottie67950460 said:

We are writing our own. Writing your own wedding vows is a great way to personalize your wedding. I am also taking some ideas from some vows book and wedding movies. It helps me in writing my own speech and words about my better half in a very romantic way.

Keep in mind, though, your vows are not supposed to be a speech about your spouse, but the promises you are making to him or her.