Invites and Paper

Appropriate or no?

I was invited to a friends wedding but my FI was not addressed on the invite, just me.  I have multiple female friends who were invited as well but non of our SOs were addressed on the invites including 2 other FIs and one H.  We don't know if this was just because that's how she addressed them or if our SOs really aren't invited, though her and her FI have met them all multiple times.  Is it appropriate to ask for clarification from the bride?  If so, how do I go about that?
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Re: Appropriate or no?

  • Ew. Yeah, if she's not inviting your SOs, she's being rude and gross. I think it's completely fine to clarify. I'd just call/text/FB message with something like, "Hey bride. Got the invitation! Very pretty! I had a question for you though. FI's name wasn't on the envelope, and I wanted to check in and clarify whether he was invited."

    If she tries to get huffy, let her. She is the one completely in the wrong here if they are not invited. If none of your SOs are invited, I think you all should not attend and let the bride know if she asks why.
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    [Deleted User]southernbelle0915doeydopolly212
  • Ditto manatee. Go ahead and ask, just in case she was only completely clueless on the proper way to address a wedding invitation, rather than completely rude about not splitting up social units.

    If my FI wasn't invited to a wedding I would decline so fast the mailman's head would spin.

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    doeydo
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    Yes, ask for clarification. And if your SOs are not invited, I personally would decline going and would let them know why.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    southernbelle0915doeydo
  • Thank you ladies!  Follow up question (because you all are so awesome):  If I ask do you think the other ladies need to ask themselves or can they take my answer as their answer?  I'm sure it depends on her answer though.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
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    I think each of your friends needs to ask individually about their own SOs. Some may have been invited while others weren't. Hopefully this was an oversight.
    southernbelle0915
  • slothiegalslothiegal The Sloth Farm
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    member
    Like Jen said, I'd think each one should ask individually. Hopefully she just had bride brain and forgot to indicate SO's names or thought it was a given that they were invited.
    Anniversary

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  • You are so so right :) Thanks ladies!
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  • My guess is she's going to tell you she has a "no ring, no bring" policy. That is made up bullshit by cheap-ass couples who are super rude and want everyone to fawn over their relationship while not respecting the relationships of their friends. If this is the case, I would send a nice card (no gift) and decline. Sorry not sorry.

    I think each girl whose SO wasn't included should follow up with her privately and individually. If she really has a "no ring, no bring" policy, maybe this will drill the point home that it's disrespectful and rude.
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  • My guess is she's going to tell you she has a "no ring, no bring" policy. That is made up bullshit by cheap-ass couples who are super rude and want everyone to fawn over their relationship while not respecting the relationships of their friends. If this is the case, I would send a nice card (no gift) and decline. Sorry not sorry.

    I think each girl whose SO wasn't included should follow up with her privately and individually. If she really has a "no ring, no bring" policy, maybe this will drill the point home that it's disrespectful and rude.
    Is that engagement ring or wedding?  I'm assuming this was just something someone made up one time to get out of inviting guests so it really doesn't have rules lol.  We've been engaged since April (but together 4 years), two other gals since before that and the last is actually married and even her husband wasn't on the invite.  Lol.  I still haven't gotten the guts to text her yet but I will. Just gotta figure out wording.
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  • My guess is she's going to tell you she has a "no ring, no bring" policy. That is made up bullshit by cheap-ass couples who are super rude and want everyone to fawn over their relationship while not respecting the relationships of their friends. If this is the case, I would send a nice card (no gift) and decline. Sorry not sorry.

    I think each girl whose SO wasn't included should follow up with her privately and individually. If she really has a "no ring, no bring" policy, maybe this will drill the point home that it's disrespectful and rude.
    Is that engagement ring or wedding?  I'm assuming this was just something someone made up one time to get out of inviting guests so it really doesn't have rules lol.  We've been engaged since April (but together 4 years), two other gals since before that and the last is actually married and even her husband wasn't on the invite.  Lol.  I still haven't gotten the guts to text her yet but I will. Just gotta figure out wording.
    Don't be scared!  YOU are not the one in the wrong here!  And it could be an honest mistake!  Just text her and see what she says!  And come back & tell us :)
    southernbelle0915chicky1988
  • My guess is she's going to tell you she has a "no ring, no bring" policy. That is made up bullshit by cheap-ass couples who are super rude and want everyone to fawn over their relationship while not respecting the relationships of their friends. If this is the case, I would send a nice card (no gift) and decline. Sorry not sorry.

    I think each girl whose SO wasn't included should follow up with her privately and individually. If she really has a "no ring, no bring" policy, maybe this will drill the point home that it's disrespectful and rude.
    Is that engagement ring or wedding?  I'm assuming this was just something someone made up one time to get out of inviting guests so it really doesn't have rules lol.  We've been engaged since April (but together 4 years), two other gals since before that and the last is actually married and even her husband wasn't on the invite.  Lol.  I still haven't gotten the guts to text her yet but I will. Just gotta figure out wording.
    Don't be scared!  YOU are not the one in the wrong here!  And it could be an honest mistake!  Just text her and see what she says!  And come back & tell us :)
    Seriously, I can understand feeling awkward, but if it wasn't an oversight, she's being ridiculously rude and selfish. You have ZERO reasons to feel scared or inappropriate to ask if she's appropriately following etiquette and is inviting your future spouse. Think of it as standing up for your relationship's right to be acknowledged.
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    chicky1988
  • lurkergirllurkergirl ATL
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
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    Ah, I want to hear what she says.  This could be a juicy etiquette mess.




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    southernbelle0915
  • My guess is she's going to tell you she has a "no ring, no bring" policy. That is made up bullshit by cheap-ass couples who are super rude and want everyone to fawn over their relationship while not respecting the relationships of their friends. If this is the case, I would send a nice card (no gift) and decline. Sorry not sorry.

    I think each girl whose SO wasn't included should follow up with her privately and individually. If she really has a "no ring, no bring" policy, maybe this will drill the point home that it's disrespectful and rude.
    Is that engagement ring or wedding?  I'm assuming this was just something someone made up one time to get out of inviting guests so it really doesn't have rules lol.  We've been engaged since April (but together 4 years), two other gals since before that and the last is actually married and even her husband wasn't on the invite.  Lol.  I still haven't gotten the guts to text her yet but I will. Just gotta figure out wording.
    It varies. Usually couples just say it means whatever they want it to mean so they get what they want. So if they only want to invite married couples, it applies to engaged couples. If they only want to invite married and engaged couples, it applies to both. 

    Really, it's code for: "We are cheap/poor planners/rude people and don't care about anyone's relationship but our own."
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    lurkergirl
  • Glad your friend's not a jerk! Seriously - write the names on the envelopes, people! It's not hard!
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    chicky1988southernbelle0915
  • lurkergirllurkergirl ATL
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    member
    Woo hoo!! 




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    chicky1988
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