Flaky with RSVPs

kns1988

I'm a little frustrated. The RSVP date for my shower that my maid of honor is throwing was on August 2nd. Shower is on August 23rd. I found out today that two of my friends made last minute plans to show up, but my MOH already gave the head count to the venue. These are friends that show up to things when/if they feel like it, but I thought a shower 3 hours out of the way would be one of those events that they would actually RSVP yes or no to. 

When the RSVP date passed and my MOH followed up with them, they told her they probably wouldn't make it.  I'm going to ask my MOH to check with the venue to see whether they can accommodate two more... I just wish people would RSVP on time or stick to their original plans. Do I have a right to be annoyed or should I just be happy that people are going out of their way to come to my shower? 

photokitty

You should let your MOH handle it. It's her call if she wants to add people after the head count was due, she is the hostess. Off these friends contacted you directly then you should refer them back the MOH.

I would be annoyed with their antics, but I would still let my MOH handle it since its her call, not yours. GL!

AddieCake

Ditto. Annoying, yes, but not your problem to solve.

BMoreBride6

annoying?  yes...but let your MOH handle it.  Also, why was the RSVP date 20+days before the event?

kns1988

BMoreBride6 said:

annoying?  yes...but let your MOH handle it.  Also, why was the RSVP date 20+days before the event?

I don't know, I didn't send the invitations or determine the RSVP deadline. Isn't a 2 to 3 week deadline typical, though? 

Either way, I did tell her about it and she said there's room for them. Luckily. 

BMoreBride6

kns1988 said:

BMoreBride6 said:

annoying?  yes...but let your MOH handle it.  Also, why was the RSVP date 20+days before the event?

I don't know, I didn't send the invitations or determine the RSVP deadline. Isn't a 2 to 3 week deadline typical, though? 

Either way, I did tell her about it and she said there's room for them. Luckily. 

Just don't let them pull that on you for the wedding.  I'd be clear with anyone responding "maybe" or "possibly" that you must know by _____ date or unfortunately there will not be a space/meal for them. 

huskypuppy14

You know, I wished I had told the venue I had my sister's shower at a lower number of people than the number that RSVPd. We had a couple no shows, and there wasn't a seating arrangement so it didn't matter. So I had to pay for 30 people when only 28 showed up.

They counted the people and would have charged my credit card if extra people showed up than what I had told them.

 I wouldn't worry about it, it's not your problem to solve.

Your friends are rude though.

artbyallie

kns1988 said:

BMoreBride6 said:

annoying?  yes...but let your MOH handle it.  Also, why was the RSVP date 20+days before the event?

I don't know, I didn't send the invitations or determine the RSVP deadline. Isn't a 2 to 3 week deadline typical, though? 

Either way, I did tell her about it and she said there's room for them. Luckily. 

For a shower, no, that's not typical. In fact I've never seen a shower invitation with an actual deadline on it, just a number to RSVP and sometimes the line 'regrets only' to indicate that you only have to respond if you're not attending.

2-3 weeks before is normal for a wedding RSVP.

pinkshorts27

scribe95 said:

In my area showers are done in people's homes and you can tell the person up to the day before etc. But I gather in other areas showers are much larger and in restaurants etc. I assume this is one of those. I still think RSVP'ing that early for a shower is a tad ridiculous.

This is my area too

PineapplePopsicles

pinkshorts27 said:

In my area showers are done in people's homes and you can tell the person up to the day before etc. But I gather in other areas showers are much larger and in restaurants etc. I assume this is one of those. I still think RSVP'ing that early for a shower is a tad ridiculous.

This is my area too

There wasn't an RSVP option (at all) my shower invites.  Sometimes that is how it is done around here.  

kns1988

It's at a winery. They've changed their RSVP back to no now, so... there's that.

huskypuppy14

artbyallie said:

kns1988 said:

BMoreBride6 said:

annoying?  yes...but let your MOH handle it.  Also, why was the RSVP date 20+days before the event?

I don't know, I didn't send the invitations or determine the RSVP deadline. Isn't a 2 to 3 week deadline typical, though? 

Either way, I did tell her about it and she said there's room for them. Luckily. 

For a shower, no, that's not typical. In fact I've never seen a shower invitation with an actual deadline on it, just a number to RSVP and sometimes the line 'regrets only' to indicate that you only have to respond if you're not attending.

2-3 weeks before is normal for a wedding RSVP.

Most of the showers I've been to have an RSVP date of 2-3 weeks. They usually are in restaurants, where you need to give them a head count.