Receiving line vs Bride and Groom dismiss

[Deleted User]

Which do people prefer? Which one seems to be the most efficient? I can't figure out which one I want to do. They both have pros and cons, just seeing what you ladies think.

ElcaB

By bride and groom dismiss, are your referring to when the B&G walk slowly down the aisle, stopping at each row to greet/thank the guests as they file out? If so, I dislike that and definitely prefer a receiving line. 

Marzipan13

I've only heard of the "B&G dismiss" recently (I'm talking, like, within the past week) - I've heard it works really well, but if given the choice between the two, I like the receiving line better.

RebeccaFlower

Some people might not want to hang around and I don't like the idea of being 'dismissed' so I would definitely go with a receiving line without parents/bridal party.

[Deleted User]

ElcaB said:

By bride and groom dismiss, are your referring to when the B&G walk slowly down the aisle, stopping at each row to greet/thank the guests as they file out? If so, I dislike that and definitely prefer a receiving line. 

Yup It'd say of all the weddings I have been I think I'm up to 25 at this point.. it's been half and half of what they do.. Just curious why do you say no parents? Of all of those weddings that there was a line it always included the parents.. I think that is what take forever but I think it's expected..

cafarrie

I got married last month and we did the "dismissal".  It literally took 10 minutes, the music was still playing in the background, and we were able to speak quickly to everyone and lots of guests commented that they liked it better than waiting around for receiving line (likely because this was much quicker).

As a guest, I really dislike receiving lines - they take forever and I feel obligated to stay.  That being said, most of the weddings I've been to (also about 25 in the last few years!) were in Catholic churches and ushers dismissed the rows regardless of whether there was a receiving line or not.  We figured we'd kind of kill 2 birds with one stone and dismiss them ourselves!  

Jen4948

RebeccaFlower said:

Some people might not want to hang around and I don't like the idea of being 'dismissed' so I would definitely go with a receiving line without parents/bridal party.

So would I, or I'd just make table visits without a receiving line. 

As an adult guest, I definitely would not appreciate being "dismissed" like I'm a schoolkid.  I see exiting a sanctuary like deplaning an airplane: Each row should know to leave one after the other without anyone needing to give directions, but at the same time, nobody pushes ahead.

[Deleted User]

cafarrie said:

I got married last month and we did the "dismissal".  It literally took 10 minutes, the music was still playing in the background, and we were able to speak quickly to everyone and lots of guests commented that they liked it better than waiting around for receiving line (likely because this was much quicker).

As a guest, I really dislike receiving lines - they take forever and I feel obligated to stay.  That being said, most of the weddings I've been to (also about 25 in the last few years!) were in Catholic churches and ushers dismissed the rows regardless of whether there was a receiving line or not.  We figured we'd kind of kill 2 birds with one stone and dismiss them ourselves!  

Side note.. I actually dont like either of them but feel we must do one I am very shy and even though they are family and friends it still makes me uncomfortable. FI isn't much better we want to do it at the church so we dont run the risk of missing telling someone thank you for coming at the reception.

CMGragain

There are two choices for you.

1.  Receiving line.  This is the fastest and most efficient, especially for a larger wedding.  You simply shake the guest's hand and say "Thank you for coming.  I'm so glad you could be here!  We will see you at the reception," and turn to the next guests in line.   It is considered rude to start a conversation in a receiving line.

2.  Separate table visits.  The hosts and the couple must visit each and every guest at their tables and do basically the same thing.  This takes much longer, but leaves room for conversations.

A reception is where the hosts and the couple personally greet (receive) their guests thank them for coming, and offer them food and drink.  Anything else is rude.

RebeccaFlower

I say no parents because it's awkward to have to speak to people you don't know. I saw a wedding where the B&G stood in front of the church and the parents stood diagonally behind so people could speak to them if they wanted, but weren't at all obligated. 

CMGragain

scribe95 said:

I like the dismissal as the receiving line. It works efficiently. If people want to leave they can - there is always another aisle or way out. And frankly there is that same issue with a receiving line. 

Are you speaking from the viewpoint of a guest, or as the host?  If you are attending the ceremony and plan to eat the food at the reception, it is extremely rude of you to skip the reception line, which is where you greet your host!
I only knew about a dozen people at daughter's wedding, which we paid for.  The reception line was a quick, efficient, polite way of greeting 124 strangers whom I was entertaining at the reception. 

lurkergirl

@CMGragain Is a receiving line always done after the ceremony at the end of the aisle? 

I have not been to tons of weddings, and unfortunately I think I have been to several poorly hosted weddings where the B&G did not thank us or greet us at all.

I have seen one receiving line as a kid, and all I remember is thinking, "Why do we have to wait in this long line?" 

My cousin did table visits, which were nice, but she had a smaller wedding.  Mine is kind of big, so I am trying to figure the best way to greet my guests.

CMGragain

A receiving line may be done after the ceremony, but is usually in the church narthex (lobby), not the sanctuary, or even outside on the church steps.  It may also be done at the reception, but since most couples use the time between the ceremony and reception for taking photos, this can be more awkward.  If you want the grand entrance at the reception, then it should be after the ceremony.

The important thing is that the host and the couple PERSONALLY greets each guest.  Aisle dismissals do not do this.

lurkergirl

Thank you

KLM1912

I think I am going to do the dismiss because our wedding is at my future in-law's house, the wedding will be in the tent but the cocktail hour will be in the house so this way we will be able to invite the guest into the house and direct them.  I plan on having signs but I like the idea of a quick dismissal.

JennyColada

I've only been to two weddings, and neither of them had either of these.

The B&G walked out and walked to the reception space (next door) and we followed and sat and got ready to party.

I liked this. It seemed the most fun and I would have felt awkward standing around in a receiving line or waiting to be "dismissed" (I'm not a child!).

kmmssg

I don't mind either but I like the dismiss.  TBH - we did it at our wedding 18  years ago.

Most important is to make sure you greet each of your guests!  I have been to weddings where the B&G dismissed by rows and were very efficient about it.  My BFF's DD got married last Fall (200 guests) and those 2 kids drug it out like crazy!  Way way too much chit chat but they would have done that in a traditional receiving line also.

starke87

I guess it depends on the amount of time between your ceremony and reception. We have everything at one location. When the ceremony ends, cocktail hour begins. We have chosen not to do a receiving line(cuts down on cocktail hour) but instead, do a less formal greeting with everyone during cocktail hour.

BlueBirdMB

I've never heard of something like a "dismiss"- sounds like school.  We did a receiving line.  We had 120 guests and it took 10 minutes or so.

[Deleted User]

BlueBirdMB said:

I've never heard of something like a "dismiss"- sounds like school.  We did a receiving line.  We had 120 guests and it took 10 minutes or so.

It's when the bride and groom go to each aisle and shake/hug/ say hi to each person as they leave the service/ church. Very common.

Liatris2010

I've never seen the dismiss, but I am pretty sure I don't like it.  I don't want to wait in my pew, I would rather wait on the receiving line. At least that way I can get up, stretch my legs, and use the restroom if I need to. If I am waiting to be dismissed I would feel obligated to wait until I was dismissed, even if I really needed the restroom. If it is a receiving line, I could duck out and then get on the end of the line when I finished mu business.

I also imagine greeting people in the pews to be very cramped. Dislike.

Receiving lines go quickly and if the parents are there and I don't know them I think of something nice to say while I greet them, "Carla is just the best co-worker I could ever want/This church is beautiful/We are having a lovely time, I'm so glad I was able to come to the wedding, thanks for inviting me." It really isn't that hard.