Invites and Paper

Invitation Name Help Please

kimberly0315kimberly0315
Third Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
member
edited August 2014 in Invites and Paper
I have started working on our invitations.  I have a question about my FI's parents.  My parents are hosting, so their names will go on the top of the invite.  After my name and Fi's name, we would like to include son of________  Please help me with this.  
 
His parents are divorced.  His mother is remarried but goes by her maiden name because of her career.  We would like to include the stepdad because he is a big part of FI life.  This is what I have (names changed) but I feel like the parents names that I highlighted in red are wrong.

Mr. and Mrs. Jack Jackson
request the pleasure of your company                                                                                                                        
at the marriage of their daughter
Jessica Lynn 
to
Mr. Cooper Donald Walsh
son of
Doctor Mary Marks and Mr. Simon Blue
Doctor Clark Walsh
Thursday, the fifth of March
two thousand fifteen
at five o'clock
A Plantation House
Wherever, Hawaii


Edited for spelling

Re: Invitation Name Help Please

  • CMGragainCMGragain
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    edited August 2014
    Your wedding invitation is not a family tree.  It is a simple message from the hosts (your parents) to the guests, telling them who, what, when and where.  Your Fi's parents do not belong on it unless they are hosting.  It is NOT an honor to be named on a wedding invitation. It is only an honor to receive one. You are not including anyone by doing this. 
    Here is the correct wording:


    Mr. and Mrs. Jack Bridesparents
    request the pleasure of your company                                                                       at the marriage of their daughter

    Jessica Lynn 
    to
    Mr. Cooper Donald Doe

    Thursday, the fifth of March
    two thousand fifteen
    at five o'clock
    A Plantation House
    Wherever, Hawaii

    You should list your FILS in your wedding program, not the invitation, and you can honor them with toasts at the reception.

    PS.  For internet safety I edited the names.  Don't put your real names out there for internet crazies!
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    doeydo
  • The names have been changed as I stated above.

    While looking through etiquette sites, I have seen it done this way on several different etiquette sites.  I would still like someone's help with this wording.   
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    The names have been changed as I stated above.

    While looking through etiquette sites, I have seen it done this way on several different etiquette sites.  I would still like someone's help with this wording.   
    When it comes to the proper way to word invitations, you have received the best help with wording from CMGragain.  If you are looking for what NOT to do, refer to the sites on the internet. 
    doeydo
  • I listed my in-laws on our invitations in a very similar way.  They would have been very hurt by not being listed and while technically they didn't HAVE to be and I would have felt very rude leaving them out. 

    @kimberly0315 I think your wording looks perfectly acceptable and I wouldn't think twice about it if i received this invitation. 

  • CMGragainCMGragain
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    edited August 2014
    The reason you are having trouble with your wording is that it isn't proper.

    It would be acceptable to list your FILS if they were hosting your wedding.  They are not.  Why do you insist on putting them on your invitation?  They do not belong there.

    Listing the parents on the "son of" line can be done.  In your case, that will take up three lines of type.  It is not traditional, but it can be done.  Your future step father cannot be listed as the groom's father because he is not.

    Mr. and Mrs. Jack Jackson
    request the pleasure of your company                                                                                                   
    at the marriage of their daughter
    Jessica Lynn 
    to
    Cooper Donald Walsh
    son of
    Doctor Mary Marks
    Doctor Clark Walsh
    Thursday, the fifth of March
    two thousand fifteen
    at five o'clock
    A Plantation House
    Wherever, Hawaii

    If you do list his parents, your FI does not get the title "Mr.".  He is the son of the people you listed, not the grown adult.  This is somewhat insulting to him, which is why it is not traditional to list the groom's parents.  The idea is that everyone knows who you are marrying, and it needs no explanation.  Traditional wording works best.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    doeydo
  • CMGragainCMGragain
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    edited August 2014
    cafarrie said:
    I listed my in-laws on our invitations in a very similar way.  They would have been very hurt by not being listed and while technically they didn't HAVE to be and I would have felt very rude leaving them out. 

    @kimberly0315 I think your wording looks perfectly acceptable and I wouldn't think twice about it if i received this invitation. 

    What IS rude is to expect to be listed on an invitation for a wedding where you are not the host or the wedding couple.  It is a wedding invitation, not a family tree.  Can you do it?  Yes.  Should you do it?  No.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • cafarriecafarrie
    100 Comments 100 Love Its 5 Answers Name Dropper
    member
    edited August 2014
    Eh, to me this one is very much "to each his own" and definitely a place where traditional etiquette is getting really grey. Our invites were simple and beautiful and listed our parents because it was important to us that both our families were included. Seems like victimless "etiquette breach" (kind of like using address labels - invites should always be hand addressed but very few people do that anymore either and according to the Invites & Paper board labels are totally fine).
  • CMGragainCMGragain
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    edited August 2014
    It is not an honor to be "listed" on an invitation.  It does not "include" or "exclude" anyone.  It is only an honor to RECEIVE an invitation.
    Labels are tacky.  The only people on this boards who will recommend them are the same brides who did it themselves, and they are in the minority!
    Usually when brides ask an invitation question, they want the correct, etiquette approved advice, not someone's personal opinion.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • cafarrie said:
    I listed my in-laws on our invitations in a very similar way.  They would have been very hurt by not being listed and while technically they didn't HAVE to be and I would have felt very rude leaving them out. 

    @kimberly0315 I think your wording looks perfectly acceptable and I wouldn't think twice about it if i received this invitation. 

    Thank you for answering my question.  I appreciate it.

    This thread was not meant to be a debate or a request for opinions.  I appreciate all of the input.

    Cheers.
  • So you take the advice of the one person who validates your wording?  OK.  It's your wedding.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • Yes it is my wedding.  We haven't made any final decisions, but @cafarrie is the only one who answered my question about the names.  There is no need to be sensitive about this.  As stated above, I appreciate all of the input.  I asked for opinions on how to word names.  That was it.  I realise and appreciate that you are knowledgeable about etiquette.  But you didn't answer the question I had, the "one person who validates my wording" did.  I don't feel I need to make my decision now, or announce what we choose to do.  
    AGAIN, I appreciate all of the input.
  • CMGragainCMGragain
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    edited August 2014
    I have started working on our invitations.  I have a question about my FI's parents.  My parents are hosting, so their names will go on the top of the invite.  After my name and Fi's name, we would like to include son of________  Please help me with this.  
     
    His parents are divorced.  His mother is remarried but goes by her maiden name because of her career.  We would like to include the stepdad because he is a big part of FI life.  This is what I have (names changed) but I feel like the parents names that I highlighted in red are wrong.

    Mr. and Mrs. Jack Jackson
    request the pleasure of your company                                                                                                                        
    at the marriage of their daughter
    Jessica Lynn 
    to
    Mr. Cooper Donald Walsh
    son of
    Doctor Mary Marks and Mr. Simon Blue
    Doctor Clark Walsh
    Thursday, the fifth of March
    two thousand fifteen
    at five o'clock
    A Plantation House
    Wherever, Hawaii


    Edited for spelling

    There is no question on your original post.  If you want to have a question answered, you must first ask it.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • Hmmm... the other poster seemed to understand. Funny how that works isn't it?
    cafarrie
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