Garter Toss Dilemma

drina0218

I'm picking out some music for the wedding (11 days ahh!) and the DJ asked about the garter toss. I honestly do not want everyone to see FI up my skirt. I think it's really embarrassing. I'm also not a fan of the guy slipping the garter on the bouquet catcher. It can sometimes get a little rated R and we have a lot of kids at the wedding. I do want to do the bouquet toss and maybe even just hand FI a garter to toss? and maybe just leave it be? Is this weird and I'm being a Debbie downer? I want everyone to have a good time but I just don't want to embarrass myself in the process..

PrettyGirlLost

drina0218 said:

I'm picking out some music for the wedding (11 days ahh!) and the DJ asked about the garter toss. I honestly do not want everyone to see FI up my skirt. I think it's really embarrassing. I'm also not a fan of the guy slipping the garter on the bouquet catcher. It can sometimes get a little rated R and we have a lot of kids at the wedding. I do want to do the bouquet toss and maybe even just hand FI a garter to toss? and maybe just leave it be? Is this weird and I'm being a Debbie downer? I want everyone to have a good time but I just don't want to embarrass myself in the process..

I don't think you are being a Debbie Downer.  Many of us here on the boards hate garter/bouquet tosses for a variety of reasons and opted not to do them.

Talk with your FI 1st and see if he wants to do a garter toss. . . if he does, then you will have to come to a compromise, but I think just giving him one to throw would be fine.

If your FI doesn't care either way or doesn't want to do one, then just tell the DJ that you are only doing a bouquet toss.

Once thing to keep in mind with the "tosses" is that you need to know your crowd- if a large portion of your guest list is already married or in a relationship, and you have a very small number of singles, then you might want to forgo the tosses as it may make those who are single feel uncomfortable.  Or, add lottery tickets or gift cards into the bouquet/garter when you toss it and allow everyone to participate.

Jen4948

PrettyGirlLost said:

drina0218 said:

I'm picking out some music for the wedding (11 days ahh!) and the DJ asked about the garter toss. I honestly do not want everyone to see FI up my skirt. I think it's really embarrassing. I'm also not a fan of the guy slipping the garter on the bouquet catcher. It can sometimes get a little rated R and we have a lot of kids at the wedding. I do want to do the bouquet toss and maybe even just hand FI a garter to toss? and maybe just leave it be? Is this weird and I'm being a Debbie downer? I want everyone to have a good time but I just don't want to embarrass myself in the process..

I don't think you are being a Debbie Downer.  Many of us here on the boards hate garter/bouquet tosses for a variety of reasons and opted not to do them.

Talk with your FI 1st and see if he wants to do a garter toss. . . if he does, then you will have to come to a compromise, but I think just giving him one to throw would be fine.

If your FI doesn't care either way or doesn't want to do one, then just tell the DJ that you are only doing a bouquet toss.

Once thing to keep in mind with the "tosses" is that you need to know your crowd- if a large portion of your guest list is already married or in a relationship, and you have a very small number of singles, then you might want to forgo the tosses as it may make those who are single feel uncomfortable.  Or, add lottery tickets or gift cards into the bouquet/garter when you toss it and allow everyone to participate.

All of this.  If you're okay tossing the garter but not it being put on whoever catches the bouquet or whatever, just make clear to the DJ and your FI what your boundaries are.

daria24

Very few of the weddings I've been to recently have done the garter toss. Most don't even do the bouquet toss. I hate them personally.

If you do the garter toss, please just have your FI throw one without taking it off your leg. I usually run for the bathroom the second I see the bride sit on the chair. 

And for the love of all that is holy, please please please don't have the garter catcher put the garter on the bouquet catcher. I find it borderline sexual assault. 

holyguacamole79

I'm not a fan of the garter toss; we skipped it.  You could easily do a bouquet toss without a garter toss. 

I was at a wedding a few years ago where there were a lot of children in attendance.  The couple bought a teddy bear and jointly tossed it for the kids to catch.  It was cute!

peachy13

Skip the garter toss.... it's really outdated and embarrassing. I hardly ever see it done at weddings anymore and when I do, most people use that time to go to the bar or elsewhere in order to avoid being caught in the toss.

chibiyui

We did a bouquet toss and a companion cube toss. We opened the floor to anyone who wanted, so we didn't single out the singles, and the winner of each toss was given a bottle of booze.

atlastmrsg

I skipped the garter toss--less embarassing for everyone and more time to eat, drink, and be merry without all the stupid stuff to sit through.

I also skipped the bouquet toss.  I took a moment to take a friend who had recently gotten engaged aside and present the bouquet to her and wish her well in her planning and wedding.

My wedding was still awesome without those.  I think my guests were happier--like I said before, less stuff to sit through.  It was time to get the band playing!

Alikat9614

Nothing wrong at all with not doing it!  We are, but mainly because FI wants to, so I got a toss garter with batman on it.  I plan on discreetly moving it below my knee before it's time and no way in HELL is he sticking is head up my skirt (blech!) I'll hike my skirt up to my knee and there it shall be.  As for the bouquet toss, we plan on having all the ladies (and all the gents for the garter) who want to come to the floor regardless of marital status and the "winner" will get $10 in scratch off tickets. 

drina0218

Thank you ladies! I feel like less of a downer and these are some awesome suggestions. I just want everyone to have a good time and I have found the garter placement very cringe-worthy. Lots to think about now!

southernbelle0915

Do it and play The Thong Song.

Just kidding. I'm anti-garter toss.

slothiegal

southernbelle0915 said:

Do it and play The Thong Song. Just kidding. I'm anti-garter toss.

Anti-garter toss.  Pro-Thong Song.  The end.

wrigleyville

sarahbear31 said:

I was at a wedding a few years ago where there were a lot of children in attendance.  The couple bought a teddy bear and jointly tossed it for the kids to catch.  It was cute!

That is one of the best ideas I've ever heard. I'm not even joking.

Oh wait. Now I'm picturing the sad little kids who didn't get the bear. I'm such a softy.

southernbelle0915

slothiegal said:

southernbelle0915 said:

Do it and play The Thong Song.

Just kidding. I'm anti-garter toss.

Anti-garter toss.  Pro-Thong Song.  The end.

Lol yessssss!!!!

ElcaB

We felt the same way, but didn't want to skip the toss completely. We modified it to fit our style. 

FI isn't removing my garter, but we'll have an extra one to wrap around a Nerf football and tuck a lottery ticket in there. All the men are invited to participate, not just the single ones, and the catcher won't be putting the garter on anyone else --- just hopefully winning a few bucks

banana468

I'm anti toss as well. I don't really get the point of watching the groom go up the bride's skirt and then watching single people try to catch it. It's such a spectacle it's one of the highlights of being married.

hales2010

PrettyGirlLost said:

drina0218 said:

I'm picking out some music for the wedding (11 days ahh!) and the DJ asked about the garter toss. I honestly do not want everyone to see FI up my skirt. I think it's really embarrassing. I'm also not a fan of the guy slipping the garter on the bouquet catcher. It can sometimes get a little rated R and we have a lot of kids at the wedding. I do want to do the bouquet toss and maybe even just hand FI a garter to toss? and maybe just leave it be? Is this weird and I'm being a Debbie downer? I want everyone to have a good time but I just don't want to embarrass myself in the process..

I don't think you are being a Debbie Downer.  Many of us here on the boards hate garter/bouquet tosses for a variety of reasons and opted not to do them.

Talk with your FI 1st and see if he wants to do a garter toss. . . if he does, then you will have to come to a compromise, but I think just giving him one to throw would be fine.

If your FI doesn't care either way or doesn't want to do one, then just tell the DJ that you are only doing a bouquet toss.

Once thing to keep in mind with the "tosses" is that you need to know your crowd- if a large portion of your guest list is already married or in a relationship, and you have a very small number of singles, then you might want to forgo the tosses as it may make those who are single feel uncomfortable.  Or, add lottery tickets or gift cards into the bouquet/garter when you toss it and allow everyone to participate.

I have never heard of this one before but I love this idea!

wrigleyville

We got married in Vegas, so I attached a bunch of scratch-offs to my toss bouquet and asked everyone, male and female, to come out to catch it. We didn't do anything with the garter (I didn't even wear one).

climbingsingle

I'm anti-toss. We're skipping both the garter and bouquet at our wedding.

maiorielloam6

sarahbear31 said:

I'm not a fan of the garter toss; we skipped it.  You could easily do a bouquet toss without a garter toss. 

I was at a wedding a few years ago where there were a lot of children in attendance.  The couple bought a teddy bear and jointly tossed it for the kids to catch.  It was cute!

Omg I loooooove the teddy bear idea!!!!!! Yeah, it's your wedding. If you don't like it don't do it!! The last wedding I was at didn't do any of the tosses, she gave the bouquet to the couple who'd been married the longest. It was very sweet.

jerkyanne

drina0218 said:

I'm picking out some music for the wedding (11 days ahh!) and the DJ asked about the garter toss. I honestly do not want everyone to see FI up my skirt. I think it's really embarrassing. I'm also not a fan of the guy slipping the garter on the bouquet catcher. It can sometimes get a little rated R and we have a lot of kids at the wedding. I do want to do the bouquet toss and maybe even just hand FI a garter to toss? and maybe just leave it be? Is this weird and I'm being a Debbie downer? I want everyone to have a good time but I just don't want to embarrass myself in the process..

What my family does when there are a lot of kids attending is they make a small lollipop bouquet to toss to the little girls and gets a few candy bracelets to toss to the boys.  That way they don't go on the floor for the adult one but still feel like participants.

If you want to do a garter toss, you can definitely just do the toss without having them put it on the bouquet catcher. (I caught he bouquet at 16 at a friend's mom's wedding, and by caught I really mean it landed in my lap and everyone thought it was funny and decided I caught it.  This part was super awkward for me considering I knew no one at the wedding other than the B&G and my friend. So I'm definitely all for not doing this part)

MollyandD

I would never think you were being a downer for not wanting your guests to watch your husband swan dive into your skirt. It's ok to hand it to him, or maybe to wear it right above your knee and scoot it down for him to pick up.