Luxury Weddings

Introduction and advice

Hi ladies!

This is my first post. I have been lurking around for awhile, but just started the planning process and have been relying on these boards much more than I anticipated for y'all's great advice! We were originally going for low budget, basic wedding until I found the venue of my dreams and realized I cannot fool myself. I have champagne taste and have been generously given the budget to do it (thanks to my amazing parents, a million times thanks!). Whatever I do not spend, I put towards a house. I am not sure where in the world I want to live so a house seems like a few years away for us. So here is my dilemma: I can do an afternoon or brunch wedding at my dream venue and do it up and not be concerned about budget or an evening wedding like I have always dreamed of, but be stressed out about budget. I love brunch, but then what would I do that evening or the next morning? Are any of y'all already married and can give me advice about what to do? My family has surprisingly been hands off about it and are letting me come to this decision on my own, but I would love some feedback from the Knot community. Afternoon or brunch which will save me about 5-8k or evening wedding of my dreams with only maybe 10k for a down payment? I have the potential to contribute 10-15k on my own, but that would destroy my savings and what I have saved up for a down payment so far for the future.

Thank you in advance for your advice!

Re: Introduction and advice

  • Congrats on your engagement! If you do an afternoon or brunch wedding, you do not necessarily need to do anything afterwards. You are only obligated to host a reception for the guests who attend your ceremony. If you formally plan another event (like a dinner/drinks party at a local restaurant), you are then obligated to host that. However, that would defeat the purpose of having an early wedding and saving money. I have attended a few afternoon weddings where people have gathered at a local bar after the reception, but it was not formally planned and not everyone from the wedding attended or was even aware of the plans.

     







  • You said 'of my dreams' a couple of times in your post. I think that says it all. If you can have the wedding of your dreams at the venue of your dreams, have it. Not everyone can and you are fortunate to be able to do so. 

    jenijoyk
  • tammym1001tammym1001 Akron, Ohio
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    The wedding that we originally planned was not the wedding I had always envisioned. Part way through planning we changed course and I ended up having my dream wedding. It ended up costing us double our original budget, but I am very happy that we made that choice. The day was perfect. 

    With that being said, we already own a house and spending double our budget didn't hurt us financially. I think it's a really personal decision if you want to spend the money on a wedding or on a down payment. It really boils down to what's more important to you.
    image
  • edited September 2014
    This is a tough one.  FI and I were also given the option to take the money and run and it was a really hard decision for us.  

    We already own a house and that played a big role in the decision.  It sounds like you should sit down and think some more about what you want.  

    You might talk to a Realtor and see how much you need to save for your down payment.  I live in NC so 10K would be enough for a down payment, but in other parts of the country not so much.  

    In the end I'm glad we decided to have the big wedding because lots of our family members are older and this is probably the only time we will be able to get everyone together.  The whole planning process has reinforced how much I love my family and how lucky we are.  We're taking away so much more than just the wedding.  

    I guess I've just given you more to think about, but I hope it helps!
    photo a9462148-4aa2-44d9-90ce-7f8b4d94b393_zps20ae9070.jpg
  • bellefemme12bellefemme12
    10 Comments First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer
    member
    edited September 2014
    Hmm, this is a tough one.  It really depends on where you live, when you see yourself buying a house, and your future earning potential and the stability of your job.  I live in the Northeast and a downpayment on a reasonable property in my city is like 50K to 100K, so 10K is not going to make or break unless you already have 45K saved up.   

    I also think what you envision your day to be is important to an extent.  I always dreamt of a Saturday evening wedding.  When we started looking, I became very open to a holiday weekend Sunday due to cost, but (thankfully) my church was booked. I say thankfully b/c as a guest, I've very much enjoyed weddings on non-holiday weekends during a Saturday.  Yes, I had an amazing time at a Friday wedding, but I just remember feeling rushed and stuck in holiday weekend traffic.

     If the difference is 5K and it won't take you a painfully long time to save that amount again, then I would just go for it.  If you're an evening person, you will prefer an evening wedding.  With me, my chosen venue did not have alternate pricing for different days, so it took away that Friday/Sunday discount factor.  
  • jenijoykjenijoyk
    Tenth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    member
    edited September 2014

    I have no advice about the wedding versus house dilemma. BUT, for what it's worth my bestie had a brunch wedding earlier this year, and it was still super swanky and really fun. The timeline went something like:

    Friday:

    Wedding ceremony at city hall with only immediate family and small wedding party. Small reception afterwards at B&Gs house with fancy finger foods.

    Saturday:

    11am: People showed up at a beautiful venue with a full bar that included lots of bloody mary and mimosa options.

    12:00: Swanky brunch buffet opened. While eating was winding down, we did toasts.

    1:00: Dancing started. I was highly skeptical about this, but the floor went OFF and it was so, so fun. Everyone continues drinking like fish.

    2:30: Cupcakes.

    3:00: JD announced that the party was wrapping up. Groom then took the mic and announced that they were heading over to a nearby bar for those who wanted to continue dancing. The B&G's parents opted instead to go out to a nice dinner together.

    3:30-6:00: After party took over a nearby dive bar, we took over the jukebox, it was awesome, etc. etc. And by 6 everyone was pretty much completely intoxicated and started cabbing home and dispersing.

    One of the most fun weddings ever.

  • P.S. I realize what I described was technically a PPD/tiered situation, but there were extenuating circumstances. B was about 4 months preggo and felt ridiculous having a big ceremony in front of everyone. She also had to plan the entire thing in about 2 months and leaving out the ceremony made it a lot easier. There was no first dance, no planned father/daughter dance (until everyone on the floor formed a circle around them and they ended up doing an impromtu one anyway), etc. It was all lovely.

    Also, brunch is cool!!!

  • KatWAGKatWAG Chicago
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    jenijoyk said:

    P.S. I realize what I described was technically a PPD/tiered situation, but there were extenuating circumstances. B was about 4 months preggo and felt ridiculous having a big ceremony in front of everyone. She also had to plan the entire thing in about 2 months and leaving out the ceremony made it a lot easier. There was no first dance, no planned father/daughter dance (until everyone on the floor formed a circle around them and they ended up doing an impromtu one anyway), etc. It was all lovely.

    Also, brunch is cool!!!

    Pregnancy is not a valid excuse for a PPD. 
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • jenijoyk said:

    P.S. I realize what I described was technically a PPD/tiered situation, but there were extenuating circumstances. B was about 4 months preggo and felt ridiculous having a big ceremony in front of everyone. She also had to plan the entire thing in about 2 months and leaving out the ceremony made it a lot easier. There was no first dance, no planned father/daughter dance (until everyone on the floor formed a circle around them and they ended up doing an impromtu one anyway), etc. It was all lovely.

    Also, brunch is cool!!!

    I'm not so sure I'd classify this as a tiered/PPD situation. They had a private ceremony (immediate family only) and then hosted them with dinner. Then, the next day, they had a celebration of marriage party where they fully hosted guests. Unless they had hosted dinner for their immediate family and than just dancing for "the others" on the same day or they had a ceremony at each event, it doesn't seem PPDish to me. 

     







    BlueBirdMBatlastmrsgilovecake84MollyandD
  • I would say go for the brunch reception.  I love brunch a friend of mine had a brunch wedding reception and it was so good.  By doing a brunch reception it gives you your dream venue and allows you to do everything you hoped for your day without being stressed about your budget and possibly some leftover savings for a down payment on a home when you are ready. 

    Anniversary

  • Thank you all for your advice! Having given it a lot of thought, we are going with evening wedding because we have decided are not sure if we even want to stay in our city. Again, I really appreciate all of the feedback. It was nice to hear differing view points.

    tammym1001Peaseblossom55CrazyCatLady3
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