Can I get a TK reality check?

rooz103

Hi ladies, I was wondering if I could get a reality check for my plan for wedding party attire before I start spreading the word. We've been pretty set on the GM stuff, but it's my side that we've struggled with, and I want to make sure it's reasonable (because after a while, everything starts looking reasonable as long as it means I never have to think about wedding crap again). 

Groomsmen: 

• Black suits (they all already own one)
  
• Mismatched ties (which we're providing for them)
  
• Dress shirt (which hopefully matches the tie)
  

Therefore, the groomsmen will only be responsible for shoes and socks. And maybe a new dress shirt, if they want.

Bride's side:

• Bridesman: whatever suit he wants, with whatever shirt, with a tie that's provided for him
  
• BM: a dress that's some variation of lighter blue (which is what they preferred), in whatever length/fabric they choose. No shoes/jewelry/hair/make up requirements except that they probably want to plan for cold weather.  
  

My dilemma is I just found out that my BFF doesn't own a suit that fits, so he'll either have to rent, buy or pay for heavy alteration on a suit he does have. I had already decided to buy my little sister's dress for her, but I really don't like the idea of asking any my folks to pay for anything when the GM cost will be $0 out-of-pocket. My plan was to cover $75 towards rental/alterations/whatever on my side, and if they want to go over that, it'd be up to them to pay the difference. Is this acceptable, or would you think this is weird? We came up with $75 since you can get a suit rental or simple dress for about that much, but I still feel kinda bad that they might have to pay something. 

TL; DR: Do you think it's reasonable to pay just $75 flat towards attire for bride's side when groom's side will essentially be covered 100%?

(FYI: no, none of this will be considered their gifts)

thisismynickname2

Honestly?  I don't think any of this is a big deal.  Our groomsmen are wearing attire they already own and we're providing ties. The two of the three bridesmaids bought new dresses while one bridesmaid and one groomsmaid are wearing dresses they already own.  I don't think the out of pocket costs or lack thereof need to be equal.  It's very nice of you to help, but I simply don't think you have to.

When people sign on to being bridal party members, often they're signing on to dressing appropriately on their own dime.  If your BFF doesn't have a suit that fits, what in the world does he wear to other weddings, job interviews, etc? He needs a suit.  It's not your responsiblity to provide it, in my opinion.

holyguacamole79

The times I've been a bridesmaid, I don't think I ever had a clue how much the guys spent (nor did I care).  I think you're totally fine. 

lilacck28

I think it's fine to tell him to wear a suit, and you don't have to pay for anything. Depending on the time of day for your wedding, and considering the light blue dresses, he could also do a navy blazer and khaki or grey pants if he already has those or if its less expensive. 

Liatris2010

Agree with everyone else. We did the same thing your did for attire and I have no idea what anyone spent or who wore something they already owned. We bought H's 3 piece suit for under $100, so I wouldn't worry about the bridesman having to shell out a ton of money for a suit. And if he doesn't have a suit, he needs one anyway. But, if you want to offer $75 towards his attire, that would be very generous.

KatieinBkln

Yeah, I agree with PPs. It's lovely that you're even thinking of working it out so that the bridal party attire is free, but we always say that the bridal party's one job is to show up in the outfit they're asked to, sober. If BFF grew out of his suit, he needs a new one! If he were a bridesmaid and bought a dress a few sizes small and then gained weight (for an example we've seen on these boards before) you certainly wouldn't be expected to buy him a new one. The suit is his one job; leave it to him to do it.

rooz103

Thanks, everyone, for the reassurance. I had been working under the assumption that he owned a suit, and it wasn't until this weekend that I realized he's never really had a need for one, so it threw me for a loop. The closer we get, the less capable I am of using logic, it seems. Oh well, that's why TK is here and only a few more months before I get full capacity of my brain back

OliveOilsMom

The only thing that I might say about your plan is about the GM's shirts.  Do their shirts need to match the provided tie?  That might be a pain in the ass, depending on the color of the ties you are providing them.  Maybe simplify it to a white shirt?

rooz103

OliveOilsMom said:

The only thing that I might say about your plan is about the GM's shirts.  Do their shirts need to match the provided tie?  That might be a pain in the ass, depending on the color of the ties you are providing them.  Maybe simplify it to a white shirt?

Yes, we'd be happier if the shirts matched the ties, but the ties are all variations of a blue plaid/stripe, so they could wear black, grey, white or blue and it wouldn't look funny. I'm assuming that they'll opt for white instead of pairing it with a crazy color, but they'll still be fabulous if they do try fuchsia. 

[Deleted User]

Tell your BFF it's good for him to own a standard black suit.  They're good for weddings, funerals, job interviews, everything.  It's the male equivalent of the Little Black Dress.  Besides, guys look hot in suits.

[Deleted User]

Liatris2010 said:

Agree with everyone else. We did the same thing your did for attire and I have no idea what anyone spent or who wore something they already owned. We bought H's 3 piece suit for under $100, so I wouldn't worry about the bridesman having to shell out a ton of money for a suit. And if he doesn't have a suit, he needs one anyway. But, if you want to offer $75 towards his attire, that would be very generous.

This. IF he doesn't own a suit that fits he needs one anyway. All men should own at least one neutral, properly-fitted suit, just for this reason. You never know when you'll have an occasion that requires one.

It would be like being a woman who doesn't own a single semi-formal dress / work outfit. What happens when you get invited to a wedding / funeral / have a job interview / business meeting / work-related party?