One of these maids does not like the others...

stilldo0318

I am a bridesmaid in my cousin's upcoming wedding. The other maids are my sister, three other cousins (two are each others' sisters), and the bride's college friend. With 5 bridesmaids being the bride's cousins (and two sets of sisters among the five) I get how the college friend could feel left out, but I really feel like we have made an effort with her. She is still so rude and standoffish in all her interactions with us. She acts like it is unbearable to be around us and makes tons of snippy comments. How can we make her see that we are ok people who really do want to include her? Should we address it directly and clear the air, or just continue to be nice and see what happens?

holyguacamole79

stilldo0318 said:

I am a bridesmaid in my cousin's upcoming wedding. The other maids are my sister, three other cousins (two are each others' sisters), and the bride's college friend. With 5 bridesmaids being the bride's cousins (and two sets of sisters among the five) I get how the college friend could feel left out, but I really feel like we have made an effort with her. She is still so rude and standoffish in all her interactions with us. She acts like it is unbearable to be around us and makes tons of snippy comments. How can we make her see that we are ok people who really do want to include her? Should we address it directly and clear the air, or just continue to be nice and see what happens?

Just continue to be friendly and inclusive.

jacques27

stilldo0318 said:

I am a bridesmaid in my cousin's upcoming wedding. The other maids are my sister, three other cousins (two are each others' sisters), and the bride's college friend. With 5 bridesmaids being the bride's cousins (and two sets of sisters among the five) I get how the college friend could feel left out, but I really feel like we have made an effort with her. She is still so rude and standoffish in all her interactions with us. She acts like it is unbearable to be around us and makes tons of snippy comments. How can we make her see that we are ok people who really do want to include her? Should we address it directly and clear the air, or just continue to be nice and see what happens?

You can't MAKE anyone do anything.  The only thing you have control of is how you act and how you respond.  So you do as sarahbear31 said - continue to be friendly, continue to include her, and if she makes comments you continue to pretend that if doesn't affect you and respond with kindness.  Either she'll come around and be friendlier, or she won't and then you all go on with your respective lives.  Being thrown together as bridesmaids in the same wedding doesn't mean you need to be BFFs. 

atlastmrsg

Just let her be.  As long as she isn't being shitty to the bride, it's not her job to be your new BFF.

Maggie0829

atlastmrsg said:

Just let her be.  As long as she isn't being shitty to the bride, it's not her job to be your new BFF.

This.  She doesn't have to like you.  As long as you are all being cordial to each other then there is really nothing more to do.

Liatris2010

Invite her to participate in any pre-wedding stuff, and if she declines, let it go. You don't need to be best friends, or friends at all. If you are being nice and she is being snippy, it is a reflection on her, not you.

southernbelle0915

sarahbear31 said:

Just continue to be friendly and inclusive.

This. Eventually, the wedding will pass and you won't keep in touch with her, so I wouldn't spend too much energy on it. If she continues to be snippy, just let it go. Don't force it with her. There's no point.

mrsmagicgeek

Pretty much all you can do. It sucks I know, but you can't make someone like you.

LDay2014

not your circus, not your monkeys. Continue to be nice to her and when the wedding is over you will likely never see her again. But know that you never did anything to incur her attitude - that's just how some people are.