I feel for her.

NOLABridesmaid

But, this is an interesting statement, right here.

 

In a post from her Instagram page Tuesday morning, and verified by the Baltimore Sun, Janay Rice writes, "I woke up this morning feeling like I had a horrible nightmare, feeling like I'm mourning the death of my closest friend. But to have to accept the fact that it's reality is a nightmare in itself."

She continued, "No one knows the pain that the media & unwanted options from the public has caused my family. To make us relive a moment in our lives that we regret every day is a horrible thing. To take something away from the man I love that he has worked his ass of for all his life just to gain ratings is horrific."

Rice ended the post by saying, "THIS IS OUR LIFE! What don't you all get. If your intentions were to hurt us, embarrass us, make us feel alone, take all happiness away, you've succeeded on so many levels. Just know we will continue to grow & show the world what real love is!

Heffalump

So being knocked unconscious by your then-FI is cool, the only hurtful thing is hearing people criticize it?  O-kay.

VarunaTT

She didn't take that away from his, his piss-poor actions of perpetrating violence upon someone else's body w/out consent did.

I hope they both get the help they need.

hmonkey

 "I woke up this morning feeling like I had a horrible nightmare, feeling like I'm mourning the death of my closest friend. But to have to accept the fact that it's reality is a nightmare in itself."

you know, one day her actual bff will be saying this because he will have killed her.

mrsconn23

Well, she has been told by the Ravens/Media/Goddell/world/her own damn husband that she has to 'take ownership' of her part in this.  I can see her lashing out in this manner.  :-/

ETA: *not the whole world...But, you know, the fucking assholes of the world. 

NOLABridesmaid

We all know that a man doesn't go straight to knocking you out. I'm sure there were many more times. I do feel for her, but yes, she needs to attend a good support group to hear her story come out of all of those other ladies mouths.

 

bahamabride2015

I'm sure it wasn't the first time he hit her and I certainly won't be the last.  The fact that she went on to marry him and is now defending him is sad and frustrating.

6fsn

I feel for her too.  It can't be easy to hear and see your life everywhere like that. 

kmmssg

The perfect example of the abused psyche.  I feel for her too and right now no one close to her can try to rescue her because she has her heels dug in defending the ahole she loves.

dharmabunny

bahamabride2015 said:

I'm sure it wasn't the first time he hit her and I certainly won't be the last.  The fact that she went on to marry him and is now defending him is sad and frustrating.

Well, look at it this way

She's still in the house with her violent abuser. A kid's involved. Keeping him calm/happy is likely a significant portion of her day. When he's pissed, and he may have kitchen knives or a weapon convenient...well...Then the NFL comes in to have her make a statement (for their own purposes) sets up a press conference with her sitting RIGHT NEXT to her attacker. Virtually compels her to cough up something acceptable on Twitter, because silence will speak volumes.

And when all the cameras go home, you have to go home with the asshole and close the door.

Im sure the emotions are more complex, but honestly. What else do you get caught saying with a gun pointed at your head?

MesmrEwe

IMO - they've got 6mo post-NFL together TOPS... 

The lead-up also shows her hitting him - how appropriate was that - It's like the sibling that keeps getting poked, then at some point snaps back and gets in bigger trouble.  I don't think either one was right and the look of not expecting her to go down was legit on his part, but she wasn't some innocent bystander that he just hauled off and hit - she hit him how many times. 

I also give the NFL two years and they'll let him back ala Michael Vick...

6fsn

uuuuummmmmm "she asked for it?"  seriously?

My 6 yo is not allowed to hit my 3 yo.  Ever.  EVER.  It's not right to hit ESPECIALLY when you are probably 3 times the size and hold all of the physical, psychological, and monetary power. 

bahamabride2015

dharmabunny said:

I'm sure it wasn't the first time he hit her and I certainly won't be the last.  The fact that she went on to marry him and is now defending him is sad and frustrating.

Well, look at it this way She's still in the house with her violent abuser. A kid's involved. Keeping him calm/happy is likely a significant portion of her day. When he's pissed, and he may have kitchen knives or a weapon convenient...well...Then the NFL comes in to have her make a statement (for their own purposes) sets up a press conference with her sitting RIGHT NEXT to her attacker. Virtually compels her to cough up something acceptable on Twitter, because silence will speak volumes. And when all the cameras go home, you have to go home with the asshole and close the door. Im sure the emotions are more complex, but honestly. What else do you get caught saying with a gun pointed at your head?

I say "peace out and here is your restraining order" ...but that is just me.

VarunaTT

I watched the lead up and I just saw her lunge at him.  No, she wasn't right to do that either.  That doesn't justify his actions.  She has no justification, he has no justification and he certainly responded with an elevated level of force.

I was just thinking about this: we saw Solange lunge at Jay-Z in an elevator not too long ago and he didn't respond with violence.

NOLABridesmaid

V, that is true about Jay.

Teddy917

I'm going to play devil's advocate for a second here. It could have been the first time he hit her. If it was, in fact, the first time, then it's most likely that something changed, either psychologically, or if he's taking drugs, etc. What bothers me is that he just stood there after she was knocked out, not doing anything.

I also have to disagree that she shouldn't have hit back. You better believe if anyone hit me, I'm going to defend myself.

VarunaTT

She lunges at him in the video, I can't tell if she hits/slaps him or makes contact, but there is a lunge.  He then punches her, making contact with the side of her body somewhere, she hits the side of the elevator and goes down.  He picks her up and pulls her out, then sets her on the floor right outside the elevator  That's what the video shows.

It's not the first time he's hit her or that they've had a physical altercation.  ETA: They've both been charged with assault before.  But obviously, neither of them are getting the help they need to stop engaging in violence against each other.

NOLABridesmaid

I don't know much about beating up people but I would think the first time would be a hard push or slap. He punched her out like he was punching a dude.

Who punches their girlfriend out like a dude the first time things get out of hand?

It's just sad and I'm sure if we look back in time he didn't have the best male role models when it came to relationships. Anger is a funny thing, it can show in so many areas of your life.

0Face

Also, he didn't just stand around.  He dragged her through a populated area.  DRagged her.

VarunaTT

This is powerful.  I might be standing up in my office, cheering and applauding:

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2014/09/12/1329222/-CBS-football-host-600-women-have-died-since-Ray-Rice-hit-his-wife

mrsconn23

I love James Brown. I loved him before this and now I love him more. 

6fsn

He is spot on. I'd be surprised if Rice didn't suffer some sort of abuse growing up- either to him, his mom, a sister, somewhere.  I do think someone has failed to teach him how to treat people.

My other random thoughts about this
What about the people in the control room?  I know they sent the tape to authorities, but did someone go in the moment?  How many other times have they seen something like this?  What about those women not married to an NFL player?

VarunaTT

I read something about hotel security meeting them outside the elevator and that it was basically "taken care of".  Then, and I don't know how, but tapes like this are supposed to be turned over to the police to take care of in that particular state.  And the police didn't act on it, until the video leaked.

I've read so many different articles now, they're all starting to run together.

IrishPirate60

The full video shows some significant things: she hit him after he spit on her. Twice. He's acting like an entitled asshole.

I see women like this often at the domestic violence center where I volunteer.

GBCK

If it were the first time he hit her, his gut reaction would have been "WHAT THE FUCK HAVE I DONE?"
not "*spit, drag, kick*"