Pre-wedding Parties

Bridal Shower location dilemma

Hello! I have a dilemma I'm hoping you all can help me out with. My wedding is June 6th next year. My aunt lives in Iowa, and only comes in town for Christmas. She wants to have a bridal shower for me in December, since that's the last time she will be in town before my wedding. Originally my other aunt (her brother's wife) wanted to host it, and I thought they would share the duties. Her house is very nice and I think it would make a better impression on my future sisters/ mother in law. The problem is, the Iowa aunt doesn't get along with the Ohio aunt, and thinks she will try to take over. She wants to rent a hall for the shower. I think halls are too impersonal and I've also never been to a bridal shower that wasn't at someone's house. What do you all think about doing it at a hall? She keeps telling me that it's my day and it's up to me, but still keeps bringing up the hall idea. Plus, it's hard for her to plan a lot from Iowa. I enlisted my MOH's help and I'm hoping we can figure it out. What is the best way to tell my aunt that I don't like the hall idea without hurting her feelings?

Re: Bridal Shower location dilemma

  • It's so funny how different everyone's experiences are - I have never been to a shower at someone's house. Every shower in my area is at a private room at a restaurant or in a hall. So I think that's totally normal. However, most showers I've been to had too many people to be comfortable in someone's house. Have you discussed with your aunts how many guests they are able to host? Maybe they are planning for more guests than you have in mind.
  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited September 2014
    Hello! I have a dilemma I'm hoping you all can help me out with. My wedding is June 6th next year. My aunt lives in Iowa, and only comes in town for Christmas. She wants to have a bridal shower for me in December, since that's the last time she will be in town before my wedding. Originally my other aunt (her brother's wife) wanted to host it, and I thought they would share the duties. Her house is very nice and I think it would make a better impression on my future sisters/ mother in law. The problem is, the Iowa aunt doesn't get along with the Ohio aunt, and thinks she will try to take over. She wants to rent a hall for the shower. I think halls are too impersonal and I've also never been to a bridal shower that wasn't at someone's house. What do you all think about doing it at a hall? She keeps telling me that it's my day and it's up to me, but still keeps bringing up the hall idea. Plus, it's hard for her to plan a lot from Iowa. I enlisted my MOH's help and I'm hoping we can figure it out. What is the best way to tell my aunt that I don't like the hall idea without hurting her feelings?

    If it's not what you want, thank her and decline the shower. Oh, and FFS, don't worry about impressing your future in-laws. Hall, home, private room at a restaurant, ... what's the diff?
  • I really think you should stay out of it.  They are hosting, or at least one of them is, so it is up to them to "duke it out".  There is probably a lot of unpleasant history there and you will only get caught in the middle.  Thank them both for their gracious offers and let them know that you will be thankful for whatever venue they agree on.
  • I've been to showers at all sorts of places: houses, restaurants, VFW halls, catering halls. I think you should be gracious and accept whatever kind of shower she wants to throw for you.
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