Gift Card Themed Shower

konabb

I am getting married (for the second time, I was much too young the first time), and the MIL wants to throw me a shower (this is her son's first wedding). We both have been on our own for 15+ years and own everything we need. We are however, building a home and it will be completed the month we get married. We thought about what kind of gifts to register for, even thought about garden/yard supply themed shower, garage stuff themed shower, ect.. We're running out of gift ideas. Without hurting her feelings by continuing to decline the offer for a shower, my fiance and I thought about how we could go about a Gift Card Shower - specifically for the store where we'll be buying our large appliances for our new home. We just can't simply register for household things we just don't need!

I saw a great idea on an old thread, gift card themed wedding, but to keep "gift opening" interesting, find the funniest card you can possibly find, and award with door prizes!  I would have never thought of this type of shower, but the MOL won't take NO for an answer. Any suggestions on keeping guests interested in this sort of shower. Our family and friends know we are building a home, so I do expect support and understanding!

photokitty

konabb said:

I am getting married (for the second time, I was much too young the first time), and the MIL wants to throw me a shower (this is her son's first wedding). We both have been on our own for 15+ years and own everything we need. We are however, building a home and it will be completed the month we get married. We thought about what kind of gifts to register for, even thought about garden/yard supply themed shower, garage stuff themed shower, ect.. We're running out of gift ideas. Without hurting her feelings by continuing to decline the offer for a shower, my fiance and I thought about how we could go about a Gift Card Shower - specifically for the store where we'll be buying our large appliances for our new home. We just can't simply register for household things we just don't need!

I saw a great idea on an old thread, gift card themed wedding, but to keep "gift opening" interesting, find the funniest card you can possibly find, and award with door prizes!  I would have never thought of this type of shower, but the MOL won't take NO for an answer. Any suggestions on keeping guests interested in this sort of shower. Our family and friends know we are building a home, so I do expect support and understanding!

No, gift card showers are super tacky and rude.

If you are building a home see if you can register at a local home improvement store.

Since you are building a home are there honestly no upgrades you'll want? You really want the same ratty old toaster in your brand spanking new kitchen?

Either register for physical items, allow guests to pick out whatever they want without suggesting gift cards, or decline the shower. 

No one want to sit around and watch you open envelopes. Please don't do this!

ETA...

I declined all showers and we did not register bc I have owned my house for 10 years and he had a full household as well. When it comes to your wedding I recommend you to register, but you not ask for cash or gift cards for a shower.

We did not register - anywhere. Everyone knows cash is always appropriate, appreciated and often preferred - literally everyone on earth knows this. =o) 

Some people will want to get you a physical gift - these are not the people who will give you a gift card.

But I have good news  

For our wedding the gifts broke down like this: 75% cash or check, 20% gift cards and 5% physical gifts. 

If you want money or don't need anything don't register. This is the best way to politely suggest folks give you money. I'm telling you from experience ;-) 

 There is nothing wrong with saying, when asked where you are registered, we are saving up to build a house (or honeymoon or big screen TV or whatever it is you'd like to purchase). GL!

holyguacamole79

konabb said:

I am getting married (for the second time, I was much too young the first time), and the MIL wants to throw me a shower (this is her son's first wedding). We both have been on our own for 15+ years and own everything we need. We are however, building a home and it will be completed the month we get married. We thought about what kind of gifts to register for, even thought about garden/yard supply themed shower, garage stuff themed shower, ect.. We're running out of gift ideas. Without hurting her feelings by continuing to decline the offer for a shower, my fiance and I thought about how we could go about a Gift Card Shower - specifically for the store where we'll be buying our large appliances for our new home. We just can't simply register for household things we just don't need!

I saw a great idea on an old thread, gift card themed wedding, but to keep "gift opening" interesting, find the funniest card you can possibly find, and award with door prizes!  I would have never thought of this type of shower, but the MOL won't take NO for an answer. Any suggestions on keeping guests interested in this sort of shower. Our family and friends know we are building a home, so I do expect support and understanding!

Congrats on your upcoming wedding & new home.  I strongly discourage you from having a gift card shower.  Nobody wants to sit there and watch you open up a card with a gift card in it.  Are there any upgrades you need for your new house?  New sheets?  New towels?  New plates? 

You can always decline the shower and suggest a luncheon / party instead, where gift-giving is not the focus of the event.

MNVegas

Asking for gifts cards = asking for cash which is rude. How boring to sit at a shower watching someone open gift cards. Snooze fest and a rude one at that. You don't need a themed shower. Just register for things you need or want to upgrade. I find it a little hard to believe that you don't need anything for your new home. If you can't find anything to register for, then decline the shower or maybe suggest having a bridal lunch or tea where gifts would not be included.

southernbelle0915

Gift card showers are rude because you're basically saying "GIVE ME MONEY" (always tacky). 

The whole point of a shower is for boxed gifts. If you literally do not need or want anything, just have a luncheon. Luncheons are not gift giving events, so that's a good option for your situation. 

If someone has offered to throw you a shower and you really want one, I would register for stuff that wears out - towels, sheets, table linens, etc. Or matching sets of stuff - dishes, silverware, cups, wine glasses, etc. Or upgrade your appliances - food processor, blender, hand mixer, etc. Or stuff for your new home - photo frames, scones, etc. Or heirloom stuff you want to pass down - china, crystal, display bowls, etc.

Just register for a variety of stuff. You do not need to have a "theme" (like garage, tools, etc.). Soon-to-be-married couple is your theme.

AprilH81

Can you just register for tools, rakes, leaf blowers, etc. on Amazon or Sears? Gift card showers are rude.

climbingsingle

I was/am in a very similar situation. I was married when I was 24. I'm now getting remarried 10 years later. This is my FI's first marriage. My FMIL wanted to throw me a shower. I declined every time. I honestly did not feel comfortable having another shower thrown for me, even though it would be a totally different set of people. So, I did not register anywhere and I did not have a shower. 

chibiyui

Aside from gift cards being rude, it's really boring to just watch people open gift card after gift card, even if there are some funny cards. 

Also, I recieved some gift cards and cash at my shower, and found it was super awkward opening them in front of people. I didn't want to accidentaly show how much something was. I very much appreciated them, but it wasn't as fun as the other physical presents. 

plainjane0415

I would so do a registry at Lowe's or Home Depot.  If you truly think that there's no housewares (towels, sheets etc) you could register for, I would do a registry at Lowe's/Home Depot/Local Hardware Store. Also, as PP have said, if you really want cash, just make a small registry, and people will get the hint and give gift cards/cash.  You can't just have a "gift card" shower unfortunately.

Maggie0829

scribe95 said:

As someone who just built a new home you need a ton of stuff. Register for it or decline the shower.

This.  You really don't realize all the shit you need, curtains, curtain rods, blinds, shower curtains. And you don't need new towels?  Almost everyone needs new towels and sheets.  Pots and pans?  How long have you had your set?  Did you never want a new set or upgrade it?  Dishware and glassware?  Same question, how long have you had it and did you ever think about getting something new?

Also register for tools and lawn care equipment at Sears.

Liatris2010

No. Asking for gift cards or cash is tacky and makes for a boring shower. If FMIL is insisting, suggest a bridal luncheon or tea instead. All of the guests, none of the gifts. She will look like a gracious host, you will look like a gracious bride, everyone has a lovely time. If you ask for gift cards you will embarrass both yourself and your FMIL.

JoanE2012

No.   Just no.  If you can't find anything to register for (why not upgrades? new towels, new sheets, new pots/pans, a better coffee pot, etc) then decline all showers.

LondonLisa

If it was so important to your FMIL to host a shower, I would see if she would be ok with hosting a bridal tea/ luncheon instead of a shower. This is a non-gift giving event so it could solve your problems. 

As PP have said, asking for gift cards is begging for cash. It is inappropriate. Also, make sure that everyone invited to this event is invited to the wedding.