Is this appropriate? Vendor question

geminimama16

So, I've read on several budget wedding blogs to avoid using the word "Wedding" when at all possible with vendors. To ask pricing on a "private event" or a party but to try not to mention "wedding" because the prices can be inflated just because it's a wedding. What vendors, if any, do you think this would be appropriate for? I'm still in my looking phase and trying to gather quotes.

Specifically, I have emailed one venue with inquiry as to pricing to rent for a "private function". They responded very quickly but asking several questions such as: what type of event are you planning? How many guests would be in attendance? Do you have a preferred day/time? 

They also offered to meet with me personally and take me on a tour of the facilities and discuss the options available. Would you stick with the "party" or "family function" wording or would it be inappropriate at this point to continue to not mention that it is specifically a wedding?

tammym1001

I would never take that kind of advice because it would be difficult to lie to vendors about what type of event I'm throwing. I feel like they would figure it out pretty quickly. My other concern is they would show up to my wedding and realize it's a wedding and not fulfill their contract because it was not the type of event that I told them it was. 

geminimama16

Hmm... I did wonder if they would have any recourse with it. I mean, it isn't like I'm lying saying it is a meeting or something. It is, technically, a family function/party. I'm curious because I have heard tales of people saving hundreds because they booked a venue as a family party vs. a wedding. No difference to the venue, same place, same package, but huge savings over a "wedding" rental... IDK

southernbelle0915

I think you could call it a private event if you want, but they're going to end up asking you "what kind of event?" and I don't think you should lie.

If you can do it by email, just ask for their private event (catering/photography/cake/venue rental/photo booth/etc) package pricing and just avoid the "what kind of event" answer until you get a pricing list. You won't be able to do this with everyone, though, so just know that.

geminimama16

I definitely would NOT feel right outright lying, however, I also don't think it's "fairplay" for a price to be inflated just because it's a wedding. I feel OK calling it a family function but I want to make sure it's not some HUGE faux pas

emmyg65

I didn't feel comfortable being dishonest with vendors. I also only hired vendors with transparent pricing, so that made it easier.

geminimama16

How do you know if a vendor has transparent pricing? I really don't like having to beat around the bush to get the best price.

NYCMercedes

It's a "social" event, a "party".

jacques27

geminimama16 said:

How do you know if a vendor has transparent pricing? I really don't like having to beat around the bush to get the best price.

Transparent pricing = their rates are posted on their website or printed on a brochure - they aren't saying "contact us for a quote".  Because if they are published, clearly they aren't changing based on the type of event. 

HOWEVER, I think the advice you got wasn't meant to be a blanket statement for all vendors.  I've heard that advice, but pretty much only for florists and bakeries and maybe for things like linen rental.  Unless you have very exacting requirements for your floral arrangements or want a very complicated fondant covered cake with intricate piping and sugar sculpted flowers, then just telling them you want X flower arrangements in a vase and a simple layered cake with these relatively simple decorations is going to probably yield cheaper results then telling them you want wedding floral arrangements and wedding cake.

But for things like venues and caterers and maybe photographers?  I think you need to be honest.  Say your venue has multiple rooms they can rent out to you - for a family reunion, you're probably only going to use one main room, right?  And you probably wouldn't be spending a lot of time decorating.  And the menu is probably not as sophisticated.  And you're probably not going to be showing up a significant period of time prior to the event itself.  But for a wedding, you might require renting additional space for you to get ready before the wedding.  And maybe security.  And additional waitstaff and bartenders.  And you'll want the space for a longer time period than you would want for a reunion.  And you're going to have to coordinate a florist, caterer, and baker with the venue.  And decorate.  Same with photographers - a photographer for a family reunion or family portraits is expecting a few hours tops.  A photographer for a wedding will likely have to commit a full day for your wedding, including travel time, getting ready, first look, etc.

ETA:  Not to forget also probably wanting the space for a rehearsal prior to the wedding.  You're probably wouldn't have a need to rehearse a reunion or surprise birthday party.  Also coordinating band or DJ.  Additional requirements for liability insurance (since more drinking is probably taking place at a wedding than a daytime reunion).  So yeah - be honest with venues, photographers, and caterers.  Probably ok to be vague with florists, bakeries, linen/chair/table rental companies, and party supply stores.

geminimama16

We are on a TIGHT budget so no rehearsal, no elaborate decorations, no extra space, waitservice, bartenders, security etc. I'm taking care of our own meal, most likely at a separate location. This is why I wasn't sure if it was OK to be vague. I mean, really I need a pretty space to hold a simplistic wedding ceremony. Nothing more. All those extras add up QUICKLY.  

However, I probably will end up telling them that it is a wedding. It's more to get a feel (and be able to show FI) for what things will/would cost typically. More than likely we will be holding the wedding at my parents' cabin on the lake but I wanted to check out a few other places as well. 

emmyg65

geminimama16 said:

How do you know if a vendor has transparent pricing? I really don't like having to beat around the bush to get the best price.

Yep, most of our vendors (caterer, photographer, rental company) had their pricing right there on their websites. Our florist didn't, but I was upfront about our budget from the beginning.