Church or no Church?

sal2016smm

f I marry in a church it will be my family's church. My church is a very traditional, long and involved ceremony in a beautiful Melkite church. Every single woman in my family has been married there and I had always wanted to. It is important to my mother that I consider it and i think she secretly really wants me to. I know that it is not up to her but my mother is incredibly important to me and so is her opinion and wishes. Sean and I are not religious people, he would rather marry outside, but he is so laid back that he is willing and happy to do what I want. Says that our wedding day is all about me not him. Marrying outside would allow us to have a hand fast and/or tree planting ceremony. The church ceremony has a mandatory prayer that I simply do not agree with. Should we marry there or no?

bethsmiles

I'm not sure why you are posting this on the Not Engaged Yet board...if you aren't engaged you really don't need to be worried about this right now.

That said, if you aren't religious and/or disagree with mandatory parts of a specific religious ceremony then it's completely inappropriate for you to consider that tradition for your wedding. You don't do a religious ceremony because it's what everyone else in your family did or the church is pretty or it's what it's expected. You do a religious ceremony because every piece of it represents you and your FI's beliefs and love for each other. Religion (or lack there of) is very personal, participating in a ceremony that doesn't represent your beliefs just because is offensive to those who do take that ceremony seriously.