etiquette police

charlottesmom0626

I think you'll find what you're looking for at wedding wire or wedding bee or whatever the other wedding website is where they just tell you what you want to hear.

LDay2014

slothiegal said:

Yawn.

love this...completely aside from the special snowflakeness, 

@Slothiegal I saw this and thought of you

slothiegal

LDay2014 said:

slothiegal said:

Yawn.

love this...completely aside from the special snowflakeness, 

@Slothiegal I saw this and thought of you

Sloths are taking over the world!.....very, very slowly.

MegEn1

Why are people so against an early reception? One of the best receptions I ever went to started cocktail hour at 5, dinner at 6:30 ... and I was in bed by 11. BED BY 11. I HAD HOURS AND HOURS OF BOOZE AND PARTYING AND I WAS IN BED BY 11. IT WAS AMAZING!

[Deleted User]

I'm with Meg.  And having an early reception doesn't mean you're sending everyone home to bed.  "You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here."  Maybe your uncles will find a nice cigar lounge to finish their evening, some of the girls will end up at a posh martini bar around the corner, and the younger cousins will end up in someone's hotel room with a case of beer.  Just because the reception ends doesn't mean the partying has to stop.

ohannabelle

KellyT22 said:

What is with the holier-than-thou etiquette police you need to point out everything I (you too) are doing "wrong". Who the hell cares if I write "1:30pm" on my invite because it's more "us" than saying "half past one o'clock in the afternoon"?!?!? Live and let live my friends. Also, what is with people bashing theknot.com on these boards? Do they not realize the boards are run by the knot? Happy Thursday!

Cookie Pusher

We had an early-ish wedding. Ceremony at 3, cocktail hour at 4, dinner service started at 5:15 with salad and the buffet remained open until 7. Everything was done at 9, and we let it be known that we would be going out on the town after the reception and everyone was welcome to join us. About 1/3 of our guests did, so we went out for sandwiches (we paid) and hit a few bars (we paid some, several couples bought rounds for everyone, but we were prepared to pay for everything). Having an early ceremony doesn't mean you have to make your friends and family fend for themselves for several hours just so you can have a later dinner.

sarahufl

Cookie Pusher said:

We had an early-ish wedding. Ceremony at 3, cocktail hour at 4, dinner service started at 5:15 with salad and the buffet remained open until 7. Everything was done at 9, and we let it be known that we would be going out on the town after the reception and everyone was welcome to join us. About 1/3 of our guests did, so we went out for sandwiches (we paid) and hit a few bars (we paid some, several couples bought rounds for everyone, but we were prepared to pay for everything). Having an early ceremony doesn't mean you have to make your friends and family fend for themselves for several hours just so you can have a later dinner.

Ours was similar although we ended at 10. We had tons of extra booze so we sent it back to the hotel with our friends. We had a nice after party at the hotel with about 40 people till 2am- we ordered pizza, people went swimming. Not at all lame.

HaileyDancingbear

KellyT22 said:

Full disclosure - at my work I am a Knot advertiser. We get no say in content.

Hold up.  Forget the rest of this thread- You work for The Knot, made an account on the site for the place you work for, and then started a thread complaining about the behavior of the users, and LET US KNOW YOU WORK FOR THEM- Doesn't any of that seem just a teensy bit unprofessional to you? 

Either don't use the boards or don't tell us you work for the knot. Seeing employees behave like this isn't exactly helping stop the "Knot bashing."

Cookie Pusher

HaileyDancingbear said:

KellyT22 said:

Full disclosure - at my work I am a Knot advertiser. We get no say in content.

Hold up.  Forget the rest of this thread- You work for The Knot, made an account on the site for the place you work for, and then started a thread complaining about the behavior of the users, and LET US KNOW YOU WORK FOR THEM- Doesn't any of that seem just a teensy bit unprofessional to you? 

Either don't use the boards or don't tell us you work for the knot. Seeing employees behave like this isn't exactly helping stop the "Knot bashing."

To be fair, I don't think she works FOR The Knot. The company she works for advertises on The Knot (web, print, or both). 

That being said, OF COURSE someone who makes money from the wedding industry isn't going to give two flips about etiquette unless it benefits them financially. 

AddieCake

I don't like you, OP. 

raissyrais

Next!

beethery

I still don't understand what you were trying to gain from this post. Whatever, dance party:

jacques27

KellyT22 said:

My time gap isn't bad but I saw a poor girl get ripped apart earlier today over a two hour gap that she seemingly had no choice in. Rubbed me the wrong way. Guess I've been to a lot of weddings with decent gaps. It's never bothered me.

There is always a choice.  Just because you don't like the options doesn't mean you don't have a choice.  You're just choosing not to partake in the available options and choosing to be rude instead for the sake of a "vision".  In the example you gave of the priest only being available at 2pm.  You could:

*find another priest
*find another church
*find another date when the priest is available at the time you want
*find another time that day when the priest is available (could they have also done 11am and you host a luncheon reception instead)
*host a cake and punch reception of dinner
*host a cocktail reception instead of dinner
*start your reception earlier
*elope

I will never understand why people seem to think it's ok to be rude to their own families just because their own families are likely going to be gracious enough and love you enough to not complain to your face about how you made them wait/made them work your wedding/made them stand/etc.  You would think people would want to treat their own friends and family with the utmost courtesy and respect and host them properly and instead I see posts like these where people take them granted instead.

mrsmagicgeek

I'm rather saddened by the snark level of this thread. It has such potential! Maybe the horse is really, finally, truly dead?

Jen4948

KellyT22 said:

I'm just referring to posts in general. Reading through some of this stuff just makes my head spin. I like to believe that the length of time between ceremony and reception or vows I choose won't alienate my family because of the love and mutual respect we share for each other. Just my perspective.

Because if all you care about is not alienating your family, or you think the love and mutual respect you claim to have for each other cancels out rudeness, you're probably in for a very big disappointment.  If you really love and respect them, why in the world would you want to do things that are rude or would alienate them? 

You may never hear from them that they are hurt or alienated by your actions or inactions, but that's because they don't want to hurt your feelings even if you have hurt theirs.  Don't mistake silence for acceptance, let alone approval.

Following etiquette is supposed to protect you from alienating people or making them angry.  But if you can't see that, nobody here can help you with any of your wedding questions.  We don't endorse breaches of etiquette no matter how much your family loves you.

hellohkb

Why do people think these threads are a good idea?

KatieinBkln

hellokellybean said:

Why do people think these threads are a good idea?

And in Snarky Brides, of all places.

Cookie Pusher

If all these snowflakes think they are so special, why do they all use the same play book?

hellohkb

RIGHT?

And to think we share a name :c

beethery

@hellokellybean you'll always be the superior Kelly to me.

MandyMost

KellyT22 said: I'm just referring to posts in general. Reading through some of this stuff just makes my head spin. I like to believe that the length of time between ceremony and reception or vows I choose won't alienate my family because of the love and mutual respect we share for each other. Just my perspective.


It's not exactly mutual respect if you're making them wait around for a big gap, now is it? That is clearly disrespecting them and their time. 

MegEn1

I still think back on a wedding from like 2010 that had a gap. It was a huge ordeal, like 400 guests, giant flower centerpieces, this thing just dripped 'expense'. And they had us putz around the hotel for an hour or so after the ceremony. I remember being bored and uncomfortable. Disrespecting someone's time isn't so much making them promise to spend that time on you - it's making them promise to spend that time on you but you can't be bothered to do the same for them.

hellohkb

Thanks, boo @beethery‌