Wedding Party

Should I add her as a Bridesmaid?

I have recently reconnected with an old friend from high school.  We both moved back home after college and have been seeing each other regularly.  Both my MOH and FI are not big fans of her, we were all in the same crowd in high school and they never really got along well. She is invited to the wedding but my mom has suggested including her in the bridal party, at first I shrugged it off but the more I think about it the more I think I should include her.  We were good friends in high school and our relationship has been getting stronger the more we see each other.  We have become gym buddies and she has been really helping me get in shape for the wedding and we talk about the wedding ALOT.  I know that my friend would love to be included and that it would mean a lot to her. The only problem is my bridal party is very small, just my MOH and my FSIL(who I am really not close to at all). I feel like it is so petty that they are still upset over things that happened in high school but they also haven't seen each other since then so I understand the feelings.  FI said he doesn't care if she is a BM but I don't want to hurt my MOH's feelings by including someone she really doesn't like in the bridal party especially when I was never really expecting to ask her anyway. Could I include her in some other way?

Re: Should I add her as a Bridesmaid?

  • I really don't see a good reason to add her as BM. Why isn't being a guest special enough? You're only now reconnecting. I'd leave things be. Write her a special note on her thank you card.
    southernbelle0915
  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 Dirty Jerz
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    Meh, it sounds like you are not close enough yet to add her as a BM.  And she might feel like a second choice if she is added now when she knows you already have two BMs.

    You can invite her to the shower and bach party (if somebody is throwing those for you).  You may also want to invite her to hang out with you guys while you get ready for the wedding, or treat her to a mani-pedi before the wedding as a thank you for helping you get in shape.
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

    southernbelle0915
  • I would not add her or anyone because I think I "should" include them. I would only add people because I want them/feel that my WP wouldn't be complete without them. 

    A little drama between your MOH and your BM(s) can easily turn into a lot of drama. Drama has a way of growing exponentially around a wedding. 
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  • I wouldn't add her as a BM.  But if you're having any pre-wedding pampering, maybe include her in that.  Manis and Pedis don't need to be exclusive to bridesmaids.
  • plainjane0415plainjane0415 The hills of Tennessee
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    If you have to ask an online group of strangers if you should include her in the wedding, I don't think you are close enough to her to add her as a bridesmaid.  I'm not having attendants, but if I were, I would think of who are my nearest and dearest to be standing next to me on that day.  And if that's just one person, it's just one person, if it's 8 people, then it's 8 people.  Just think of who you couldn't imagine your wedding day without and I think you'll find your answer.  Good luck!
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    badbnagdwaybeetheryBubblegum5586
  • Nope, don't do it. Keep things simple and avoid potential drama. There are other ways to let her know you appreciate her, and you're already inviting her to the wedding which is enough. 
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  • If you have to ask an online group of strangers if you should include her in the wedding, I don't think you are close enough to her to add her as a bridesmaid.  I'm not having attendants, but if I were, I would think of who are my nearest and dearest to be standing next to me on that day.  And if that's just one person, it's just one person, if it's 8 people, then it's 8 people.  Just think of who you couldn't imagine your wedding day without and I think you'll find your answer.  Good luck!
    Took the words out of my mouth!
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