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FBIL planning bachelor party I know FH will hate - wwyd?

mrscatymrscaty member
First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
in Chit Chat
So I just got a call from my FMIL that FBIL is planning a surprise bachelor party for FH (she wants me to get names/numbers of FH's friends for him). Problem is, she told me what they're planning and I know he'll hate it. They plan to take him to NYC (a 2 hour drive) and go to a Dr. Who themed bar (FH has never seen it). Then crash up there because they will be drinking (where? Who knows? They probably don't even know yet!).

So what do I do? Do I go along with it knowing that FH isn't a drinker and hates the city? Or do I help FBIL plan this? 

WWYD?
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Re: FBIL planning bachelor party I know FH will hate - wwyd?

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    JenLD2015JenLD2015 member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Comment
    Is FBIL open to suggestions? Maybe agree to the NYC trip, but towards more of a restaurant / lounge type of place?
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    birdybride2014birdybride2014 member
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    This is tricky. Do you think that maybe your FH would be down for it anyways, knowing that it is a bachelor party so it would pump him up to enjoy himself even if he doesn't like the city or the show? He would maybe just like the event in general?

    I would probably be pesky and say something to FBIL. Just something like, hey! what you've planned sounds cool BUT FH hasn't ever seen Dr. Who?! Do they have something extra cool going on that night or something!?…but I am also pretty close to my FBIL so that makes it easier. 
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    theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    I would help guide them in a better direction. I'm sure their intentions are good and they want to plan something he'll like. It might bum them out at first but I'm sure they'll ultimately appreciate it.

    If it makes it easier not coming from you, maybe you could give one of those friends who will be invited the heads up and have them help you get the point across?
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    mrscatymrscaty member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    edited September 2014
    JenLD2015 said: Is FBIL open to suggestions? Maybe agree to the NYC trip, but towards more of a restaurant / lounge type of place?-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- birdybride2014 said: This is tricky. Do you think that maybe your FH would be down for it anyways, knowing that it is a bachelor party so it would pump him up to enjoy himself even if he doesn't like the city or the show? He would maybe just like the event in general?
    I would probably be pesky and say something to FBIL. Just something like, hey! what you've planned sounds cool BUT FH hasn't ever seen Dr. Who?! Do they have something extra cool going on that night or something!?…but I am also pretty close to my FBIL so that makes it easier.  ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


     Unfortunately, FBIL will veil what     he wants to do under the guise of doing it for someone else. Once he decides he wants to do something, that's it. No questions. One christmas, he bought the entire family tickets to see The Hobbit without asking anyone for input on the date or time. He just said "Merry Christmas, we're going to see The Hobbit tomorrow at 10am!" No one was pleased. 

    ETA: sorry, I can see the boxes. WTF, KNOT!!?!?!?
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    theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    Ew. If FBIL likely doesn't give a crap what your FI wants, I doubt you can change anything. Time to start watching Dr. Who together. :)
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    mrscatymrscaty member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    lolo883 said:
    Ew. If FBIL likely doesn't give a crap what your FI wants, I doubt you can change anything. Time to start watching Dr. Who together. :)
    But do I tell him? He's such an introvert and I think he'd resent me if I knew and didn't prepare him for it. It sucks because I don't want his brother to be mad at me for ruining the surprise. BLAH.
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    birdybride2014birdybride2014 member
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    If that is the case then I would probably be even more pesky and go ahead and give FH the heads up that way he isn't uber disappointed the day of. 


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    theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited September 2014
    ladygoldfish said:
    lolo883 said:
    Ew. If FBIL likely doesn't give a crap what your FI wants, I doubt you can change anything. Time to start watching Dr. Who together. :)
    But do I tell him? He's such an introvert and I think he'd resent me if I knew and didn't prepare him for it. It sucks because I don't want his brother to be mad at me for ruining the surprise. BLAH.
    Tell FI? Hmm. Could you ask him "if I knew what your bachelor party was supposed to be and you might not like it, would you rather know or still be surprised?" 
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    birdybride2014birdybride2014 member
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    I agree with @lolo883
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    mrscatymrscaty member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    lolo883 said:
    ladygoldfish said:
    lolo883 said:
    Ew. If FBIL likely doesn't give a crap what your FI wants, I doubt you can change anything. Time to start watching Dr. Who together. :)
    But do I tell him? He's such an introvert and I think he'd resent me if I knew and didn't prepare him for it. It sucks because I don't want his brother to be mad at me for ruining the surprise. BLAH.
    Tell FI? Hmm. Could you ask him "if I knew what your bachelor party was supposed to be and you might not like him, would you rather know or still be surprised?" 
    I did this. I couldn't let him be surprised. He's not happy but will probably go along with it. The shitty thing is, this is planned for this Thursday and we already have plans for this Thursday to get a couples massage and relax before the wedding Saturday. That's off now. grrrr.
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    theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    ladygoldfish said:
    lolo883 said:
    ladygoldfish said:
    lolo883 said:
    Ew. If FBIL likely doesn't give a crap what your FI wants, I doubt you can change anything. Time to start watching Dr. Who together. :)
    But do I tell him? He's such an introvert and I think he'd resent me if I knew and didn't prepare him for it. It sucks because I don't want his brother to be mad at me for ruining the surprise. BLAH.
    Tell FI? Hmm. Could you ask him "if I knew what your bachelor party was supposed to be and you might not like him, would you rather know or still be surprised?" 
    I did this. I couldn't let him be surprised. He's not happy but will probably go along with it. The shitty thing is, this is planned for this Thursday and we already have plans for this Thursday to get a couples massage and relax before the wedding Saturday. That's off now. grrrr.
    Ugh that's crappy. But better FBIL potentially be cranky with you but know you had FI's back than the other way around.
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