need some advice... need to make a decision fast

Knottie77747472

Good afternoon!

Any feedback or advice is appreciated here... 

We are planning our wedding for next year, and have decided on NOLA since my fiance grew up there.  We are not getting much help at all from family, we are both in our 30's and have good jobs...however, I do not want to carry debt over this wedding. We have decided to budget 15,000 ( hopefully including honeymoon).  We are inviting around 80 people, and expecting about 70 to show.  We have received quotes from hotels, restaurants, etc. and I guess I am in sticker shock!  We want to have simple, intimate yet elegant evening.  We are open to a Sunday evening reception (we do want dancing), and we want to a buffet/stations at the reception and open bar.  When you figure in rental fees, etc. the hotels run around $11K... not leaving much else in our budget.  It is stressing me out on what to do... we want to have an indoor option since it's the summer there and it will be HOT... and the day time would be ok.. but we really wanted to have dancing.  I never knew wedding planning was such a headache!!  Any advice is much appreciated... thank you!!!

Maggie0829

You can still have dancing even during a day time affair.  

Have you considered having a later ceremony, like around 8pm and then having apps and dessert for your reception?  That way you won't have to have so much food to constitute a meal but you can still have both savory and sweet options.  Have you considered having a limited bar (beer and wine) and then a signature drink or two?  This way the bar won't cost you as much as a full open bar but you will still have alcoholic options for your guests.

Is NOLA a destination for your and your guests?  If so then your decline rate will most likely be higher then typical (but always plan for 100% regardless).

Just know that your reception should be about 50-60% (if not slightly more) of your overall budget and that is typically just for the room rental and food and beverage, not for decor and other rentals.

To keep decor costs down stick with candles.  The glow of candle light is beautiful and also a large amount of candles grouped together in varying heights is just really classically pretty.

In addition to all that I just wrote, you should check out the NOLA local board to see if any locals have any great ideas or great vendors that they could recommend.

esstee33

Knottie77747472 said:

Good afternoon!

Any feedback or advice is appreciated here... 

We are planning our wedding for next year, and have decided on NOLA since my fiance grew up there.  We are not getting much help at all from family, we are both in our 30's and have good jobs...however, I do not want to carry debt over this wedding. We have decided to budget 15,000 ( hopefully including honeymoon).  We are inviting around 80 people, and expecting about 70 to show.  We have received quotes from hotels, restaurants, etc. and I guess I am in sticker shock!  We want to have simple, intimate yet elegant evening.  We are open to a Sunday evening reception (we do want dancing), and we want to a buffet/stations at the reception and open bar.  When you figure in rental fees, etc. the hotels run around $11K... not leaving much else in our budget.  It is stressing me out on what to do... we want to have an indoor option since it's the summer there and it will be HOT... and the day time would be ok.. but we really wanted to have dancing.  I never knew wedding planning was such a headache!!  Any advice is much appreciated... thank you!!!

@Maggie0829 is wise. Ditto everything she said, and especially about checking out the NOLA local board. 

There are lots of ways to cut costs, so don't start panicking yet. Check with vendors about Friday or Sunday evening discounts, for one thing. Keep in mind that many decor items are largely unnecessary or can be DIY'd to save money. Candles, like Maggie said, are awesome and cheap. Get flowers that are in-season. Dessert / appetizers at a non-meal-time is a very budget-friendly way to still have the evening reception without the steep price tag. 

Knottie77747472

Thank you ladies!  It is a destination wedding for all involved.  I would feel bad not feeding them dinner at the reception, (even if it's just buffet/stations is fine) - but to only do drinks and apps may be the best choice in this particular situation when folks have traveled in. No matter what, people would be traveling in as our families are spread out all over the country, so we had to do a DW.  The candles are a great idea, and may be day time won't be so bad. Is it generally cheaper for a smaller group to do a venue/with caterer as opposed to a hotel? Are they generally more? Just curious...

princessleia22

Look around for less typical venues. Banquet halls, Club halls (Knights of Columbus, etc.), may not be the most elegant options, but some are decent and can be cheaper. And cutting guest list down is generally the best way to cut costs. And keep in mind what the "must haves" and priorities are.  You need a groom, a license, an officiant, and witnesses... everything else is optional.  And most people, including yourself, won't notice if you cut back on decorations or other optional items. My bouquets were $10 pre-made fake flower bouquets I bought online... they looked so real that housekeeping put them in water after the wedding.  That made my flower budget very cheap.  So, there are definitely ways to save money on the non-critical items.

I'm actually did DW in NOLA also, but I couldn't help you too much with local venues. We got married on a cruise ship before it left port. It was actually an awesome wedding and I would recommend it, but it's not for everyone. Not everyone likes cruises.  And there isn't too much you can customize, especially with decorations, since anything you bring needs to be brought on with your luggage. So, you have to be able to relinquish some control and accept what it turns out to be. If you want to dwell over details, this is not the type of wedding for you.  But, if you want to sit back and do minimal wedding planning and let someone else worry about the details, it's awesome. And they really did a great job at making it a classy & amazing wedding. Doing it in port allowed us to have guests attend the wedding without them having to go on the cruise (our immediate family did cruise with us though).  But, we were able to pay for the whole wedding and our 7-day cruise honeymoon for about $12k. I don't know that this is something you would be interested in or that it would fit your needs, but its another example of a non-traditional venue.

The one direct NOLA advice I have it that my hair/makeup stylist was awesome and seemed to be decent priced.  I used www.flawless-bride.com.  They were super nice, came to my hotel at 6am on a Sunday morning, and did a great job.  And my makeup was very natural looking, not overdone like some places do.

And check out the budget boards and local NOLA boards... there are great people with great advice on this site.

 

(formerly known as nicoann)

oxfordcomma14

Gotta be honest. There is no way I'd fly to an expensive city like NOLA for a Sunday evening with light snacks. If you're asking your guests to incur travel costs, hotel, AND take at least one guaranteed day off of work, you need to feed them a meal. I'd look for a less expensive venue or forego the destination wedding and do something more local to where you are.

kvruns

@princessleia22‌ tell me more about these bouquets please

jacques27

I agree with oxfordcomma - on a destination wedding, I would be peeved to be fed apps only just because you want dancing (although, really, there is no law that says you can't have dancing during the daytime - it's likely not as popular an activity for a daytime wedding, but it's certainly not impossible and luncheon wedding receptions are likely going to be much cheaper than dinner).  

One thought though, since NOLA is a destination for you already, is to also make that your honeymoon so your wedding travel expenses are doing double duty so that you can add that in to your budgeted reception money.  Extend your trip by a few days after the wedding.  If you are really that tied to the notion of a "honeymoon" where you travel somewhere else besides your wedding that you're already traveling to, then perhaps make that a goal for a future anniversary and save up for a big trip then. 

dolewhipper

FTR, I just came back from a DW on a cruise that was from 2pm-6pm and we danced our little hearts out. Etsy has a lot of sellers that do real touch bouquets and she got hers and all the floral from them.

Knottie28719551

Make the bouquets out of paper roses on old music sheet paper or old comic book paper.

If the hotel normally does destination weddings they will probably handle much of the décor.

GROUPON!

Shop around! and nit pick everything you can to get the price down!

and oh yeah GROUPON!

instead of registering for gifts, have a honeymoon registry!

Good luck!

princessleia22

kvruns said:

@princessleia22‌ tell me more about these bouquets please

I used blue orchid bouquets that I bought them from www.afloral.com.  Then I just added ribbon to the stems.  For my bouquet (shown in photo), I combined 2 of their bouquets, so it was larger than BM bouquets, and added some extra greenery.  They weren't "Real Touch", but they were similar quality.  But, you can get some decent pre-made bouquets online for cheap.  And if you go with "Real Touch", "Natural Touch" or one of those types, most people won't know the difference if they are real or not.  Even our photographer, who held them and arranged them to photograph, was shocked when I pointed out they were fake after we saw her smelling them.

princessleia22

shannonmaya said:

FTR, I just came back from a DW on a cruise that was from 2pm-6pm and we danced our little hearts out. Etsy has a lot of sellers that do real touch bouquets and she got hers and all the floral from them.

My cruise wedding was at 1pm with reception from 1:30-3pm... we danced, drank, and had a great time. 

esstee33

Knottie28719551 said:

Make the bouquets out of paper roses on old music sheet paper or old comic book paper.

If the hotel normally does destination weddings they will probably handle much of the décor.

GROUPON!

Shop around! and nit pick everything you can to get the price down!

and oh yeah GROUPON!

instead of registering for gifts, have a honeymoon registry!

Good luck!

No. These are very rude. 

princessleia22

Knottie28719551 said:

Make the bouquets out of paper roses on old music sheet paper or old comic book paper.

If the hotel normally does destination weddings they will probably handle much of the décor.

GROUPON!

Shop around! and nit pick everything you can to get the price down!

and oh yeah GROUPON!

instead of registering for gifts, have a honeymoon registry!

Good luck!

Why not just have a cover charge at the wedding?  Like, $30 a person? That could help increase the budget!

Why, not? Because it's rude to ask for money!

And honeymoon registries are asking for money, but then they make it worse by LYING about asking for money.  You tell your guests that they are buying you a spa treatment, but instead you get a big fat check to spend on whatever you want. It's not appropriate to ask for money and it's certainly not appropriate to lie and trick them into giving you money.  Most people aren't aware how honeymoon funds work and don't realize that they are really just giving you money, minus the 5-10% in fees. If a guest wants to give you money, they can give you money... but let them just give you a check or cash so you can benefit from the full amount without fees deducted.

NYCMercedes

If a hotel is quoting you $11000 for 70 people, then that's about $150 per person. Seems to me that would be all inclusive. The remaining $4000 in your budget would be for your dress, flowers, DJ, photographer, and WP gifts. I think you could just about do it.

Knottie28719551

princessleia22 said:

Knottie28719551 said:

Make the bouquets out of paper roses on old music sheet paper or old comic book paper.

If the hotel normally does destination weddings they will probably handle much of the décor.

GROUPON!

Shop around! and nit pick everything you can to get the price down!

and oh yeah GROUPON!

instead of registering for gifts, have a honeymoon registry!

Good luck!

Why not just have a cover charge at the wedding?  Like, $30 a person? That could help increase the budget!

Why, not? Because it's rude to ask for money!

And honeymoon registries are asking for money, but then they make it worse by LYING about asking for money.  You tell your guests that they are buying you a spa treatment, but instead you get a big fat check to spend on whatever you want. It's not appropriate to ask for money and it's certainly not appropriate to lie and trick them into giving you money.  Most people aren't aware how honeymoon funds work and don't realize that they are really just giving you money, minus the 5-10% in fees. If a guest wants to give you money, they can give you money... but let them just give you a check or cash so you can benefit from the full amount without fees deducted.

Is a honeymoon registry really that big a deal? If it were me going to the wedding I much rather give the gift of seeing the world then a gravy boat...I guess I don't really understand how they work, I always thought it was a nice idea. especially for people that already live together. People could lie about it, but it seems like an awful lot of trouble.

southernbelle0915

Knottie28719551 said:

Is a honeymoon registry really that big a deal? If it were me going to the wedding I much rather give the gift of seeing the world then a gravy boat...I guess I don't really understand how they work, I always thought it was a nice idea. especially for people that already live together. People could lie about it, but it seems like an awful lot of trouble.

So the way honeymoon registries work is you pick out a bunch of "experiences" (e.g. candlelit dinner on the beach, swimming with dolphins, sunset parasail, etc.), then guests log onto your registry, pick out something and pay for it.

Except here's the catch, say your guest picks out "swimming with dolphins" and the sticker price is $100. Honeyfund sends you a check for $93. 

So your guest didn't give you "swimming with dolphins", they gave you money. And you didn't even get all the money they spent. Bottom line is that it's misleading for guests and you don't even get 100% of the money they intended to give you. Everyone loses.

If you want money, just don't register. When people say "I want to buy you a gift, where are you registered?" you say "oh, we aren't registered, we're saving up for ____." People aren't stupid, they get it. And giving you a cash or check directly means more money for you anyway. 

blabla89

Knottie28719551 said:

princessleia22 said:

Knottie28719551 said:

Make the bouquets out of paper roses on old music sheet paper or old comic book paper.

If the hotel normally does destination weddings they will probably handle much of the décor.

GROUPON!

Shop around! and nit pick everything you can to get the price down!

and oh yeah GROUPON!

instead of registering for gifts, have a honeymoon registry!

Good luck!

Why not just have a cover charge at the wedding?  Like, $30 a person? That could help increase the budget!

Why, not? Because it's rude to ask for money!

And honeymoon registries are asking for money, but then they make it worse by LYING about asking for money.  You tell your guests that they are buying you a spa treatment, but instead you get a big fat check to spend on whatever you want. It's not appropriate to ask for money and it's certainly not appropriate to lie and trick them into giving you money.  Most people aren't aware how honeymoon funds work and don't realize that they are really just giving you money, minus the 5-10% in fees. If a guest wants to give you money, they can give you money... but let them just give you a check or cash so you can benefit from the full amount without fees deducted.

Is a honeymoon registry really that big a deal? If it were me going to the wedding I much rather give the gift of seeing the world then a gravy boat...I guess I don't really understand how they work, I always thought it was a nice idea. especially for people that already live together. People could lie about it, but it seems like an awful lot of trouble.

If that's what you, as a gift giver, prefer to give, then it's perfectly fine to give a gift of money for the honeymoon. ASKING for it is the rude part. Asking for money is never appropriate.

knottie75e99fe4be548d97

Perhaps instead of booking a fancier hotel, you have it in a banquet hall at a restaurant.  I know where I live there are many restaurants that do private events and are much less expensive.  I am not recommending this, but using for illustrative purposes: the chain restaurant, Maggiano's, has a banquet room, as do other restaurants at that level of "fanciness," for lack of better term.  Think of places like that or do some research on TripAdvisor on tasty middle-of-the-road priced restaurants in the area and then find out if any have private rooms.  Also, premierbride.com usually puts together those local wedding guidebooks that have venues listed (though they aren't always the cheapest or best finds).  That could offer some ideas.