Seating Arrangements for Reception

greermr

I'm about eight months out from my wedding, but I want to get an early start on table arrangements. 

Quick background: about 110 people, split pretty evenly because "his" and "mine", we will be at a sweet heart table, his parents will host their own table, and my parents will each host their own since they're divorced.

Okay so my question is: for the remaining tables of family/friends, do I mix the families (like aunts/uncles from his side sitting with the same from my side), or should I keep tables separated by which "side" they're from? I would like to mix them up because having them separated just seems like I'm drawing these lines between tables. I'm not expecting people to become best friends with someone they don't know, but I'd rather be at a wedding where I'm not seated with the people I see regularly.

I'd like to know what you guys have done before. For family specifically, did you mix the tables or keep "his" and "hers" separate?

kmmssg

Don't mix them.  People don't care about meeting the "other side" but they do greatly enjoy sitting with family and friends they don't get to see very often.  For all of our girls (4) we did not mix the tables. 

CTYankeeBride

I agree with @kmmssg. Seat guests with other guests they are familiar with.  I've never been at a wedding thinking "oh they sat us by sides and there's this great divide," and instead I have considered it "oh good, we're seated with people we know."  

Maggie0829

Seat guests with other guests that they know and enjoy.  Do not make your wedding a "meet the in-laws" affair.  People generally do not like being forced into making casual conversations with people that they don't know.

Alikat9614

I would much rather be with people I know than to have forced "getting to know you" time. It won't seem like you're drawing lines between the tables, rather, that you have thoughtfully put them at a table with people they know. We had one over lapping family table at ours, since it's just how the numbers worked to have 4 from my side and 4 from his fill an 8 top round. We put it between his side and my side and it worked out just fine

vmj23

I agree with the other posters, definitely seat them with who they know. 

greermr

Alright, thanks for the help ladies!

sarahjane222

We're actually sitting our parents together along with siblings and spouses of siblings that aren't in the wedding party. Then for the rest of the family we're just sitting them with their own relatives or people they already know. 

MandyMost

We're putting people with others they know as much as possible. However, it's not like we're going to cluster the tables into "his side" and "my side". The tables will be throughout the room, not all clustered by side!

weddingcactus

I agree with previous posters regarding seating guests by people they know. I also think it is a lovely idea to put parents at their own tables to host. I agree that I wouldn't physically split the room between his/her family, but rather mix in the tables. I think that encourages post-dinner mingling and yet prevents uncomfortable tables where no one knows each other. I am always relieved at weddings to sit with people I know. 

pineapplesmoothie

This is just a general thought on starting table assignments now.  You are 8 months out, so you don't have your rsvp's yet.  I would hold off on investing too much more additional thought into this because you don't really know who will be there.  Some people that I though would for sure come, could not and people I never thought would make the trip, are. So if I had planned early I would be re-doing the whole thing now any way.

But I know you were looking for general advice about mixing the groups, I just thought I'd point it out to save you from potentially having to do the work twice.

gingerbride26

Guess I'll be the black sheep here.  We actually did a lot of mixing.  We grouped where possible - however there were a lot of cases where we had 3 people who knew each other and no one else, or a couple that knew no one else, etc where we didn't have perfect, complete tables.  So we mixed it up a bit.  For those situations we went with age group and background.  For example - his college roommate went to a specialty high school like me - so he's sitting with my high school friends. My college friend is an engineer but I now work in IT so instead of putting him with my coworkers he's with FI's aerospace engineer coworkers. Honestly - my two favorite wedding receptions we sat at a mixed table.  One we didn't' know anyone and we were seated with close childhood and college friends, the other was a mix of his coworkers and hers.  Both times we ended up having at least 1 bridesmaid with us and had great conversation all night.

I agree with the PP that you shouldn't have a his and her side of the ballroom.  My mother actually commented to me when we went to do the seating chart that she went to a wedding once where she felt very uncomfortable because the room was split - but she is one of those people that would find something to complain about :-)

centralcoastbride - don't start now!!! I did the same; I had it all set up, I loved it.  Then the no's came in, or the yes's we weren't expecting and the whole thing was messed up.  We still ended up having a 4.5 hour seating chart session with FI and his folks - complete with screaming matches - to finalize it!