Getting in Shape

In need of encouragement

This is my first post on the Getting in Shape board. As I'm just over a month out from my wedding (11.15.14), I'm starting to really freak out about looking the way I want to look on our big day. Some background -- I've been overweight my whole life. The majority of my family is overweight (and always has been), and I just never developed healthy eating/exercising habits. My freshman year of college, I weighed in at over 200 pounds at a doctor's appointment. At 5'3", that felt significant for me, and it was a "light bulb" moment. I radically changed my eating habits and started exercising 7 days a week. I also was not in a relationship/on birth control, nor was I drinking alcohol. I lost 80 pounds over the course of about a year. I was able to maintain that weight loss through the rest of college, and I was REALLY small. In retrospect, my body probably couldn't sustain the weight that I had reached (115 lbs -- my body seems to naturally be more comfortable around 120 - 128, which I'm totally fine with).

Fast-forward to my post-college life. I met my FH two weeks after graduation, we fell in love, were wining and dining out all the time, went on birth control which caused some weight gain, exercise became less of a priority in favor of spending time together...we're all familiar with the story. :) Since we met, I've gained 15 - 20 pounds. I'm still working out as regularly as I can (I try for 5 days a week, but I feel like I'm always so tired and unmotivated) and watching what I eat, but I have a stressful career and limited time, so I'm still eating out more than I'd like to, drinking more regularly in social situations (advertising...happy hours galore), and I'm not in the physical shape that I thought I would be for my wedding. With all of the stress of the wedding planning itself (difficulties with my mom in the planning process, the stress of everything coming together, making sure we're checking things off the list, developing anxiety, etc.), I feel like I'm at a breaking point. As a girl who has been bigger all her life, lost a lot of weight, then gained some of it back, I guess it's hard for me to look in the mirror and be truly happy with where I am. I don't want to be disappointed in myself on our wedding day, or look back at photos and hate how I look in them. But I also don't want my life to revolve around counting every single calorie and working out like a crazy person. I'm so preoccupied with all eyes being on me, and people potentially judging me for being bigger than I used to be (I know that's silly and irrational, as the people attending will be people who love me). And I'm not worried about what FH thinks -- I know he'll think I look beautiful no matter what. My worries seem to center on my own skewed opinion of myself. Maybe I just got really burnt out the first time I lost all that weight. I'm not sure.

Apologies for the long post -- I think I'm just wondering if any of you lovely ladies have been/are in the same position, and any action that you took to re-motivate and re-energize yourselves? I'd really appreciate any words of advice/commiseration/encouragement that anyone might have.

Re: In need of encouragement

  • AprilH81AprilH81 Columbus, OH
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    I can sympathize.

    I'm also 5'3 and at my highest I was at 210, lost weight down to about 170, gained back to almost 200 and then lost down to 159 (lowest adult weight).  

    I met DH about 3/4th of the way through the last weight loss period and since then have gained 30 pounds back of the 40 I had lost.  I was up about 25 pounds on our wedding day...

    You know what?  I still LOVE our pictures.  We look happy, our families and friends look happy, the snow falling was amazing and we had a blast.

    If you are unhappy about how you feel/look at your current weight do something about it.  If you are already working out on a semi regular basis just start counting calories.  I have lost 6 pounds in less than two weeks eating 1,420 calories a day.  Now that my stomach has adjusted and I'm not hungry all the time it isn't too bad.

    Don't starve yourself, but take control.  You can do it!
    photo composite_14153800476219.jpg
  • Thanks so much for your kind words. You're exactly right -- no matter what, the pictures will be special because it's our wedding day, regardless of how I'm feeling. The picture in your signature is stunning, by the way!

    You're right about taking control in a healthy way, too. I know I'll feel better if I start making more of an effort to control what I eat (even if it means taking more time to cook at home).

    Best of luck to you on your weight loss journey -- you've done it before and can absolutely do it again! Sounds like your mind and heart are in the right place. :)
    AprilH81
  • ohmrs2014ohmrs2014 Dirty Jerz
    Moderator 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary
    mod
    I too am 5'3.  At my heaviest, which is now actually due to medication, I am 210.  Now that I am off the medication, I am hoping to bounce back.  

    I have usually been fit for most of my adult life, but when I met DH, I let myself go.  I was introduced to a whole new world of food and cooking (DH is Hispanic).

    I was able to lose some weight before the wedding and my dress was actually too big on my wedding day, thankfully we had double sided tape.  I too, love our pictures and I couldn't be happier with how I look in them, even though I wasn't at my goal weight.


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    drewisesup
  • edited October 2014
    drewisesup the worst thing you could do right now is to beat yourself up about what you do or don't look like right. Your wedding is about you marrying the love of your life who, like you said, isn't going to care how much you weigh on the wedding day. Try to see yourself through his eyes. When you look in the mirror, don't think about what you used to look like, or what you wished you looked like. Try to imagine what your FI sees when he looks at you - the most stunningly beautiful, wonderful woman that he absolutely cannot live without. 

    And then for practicality's sake, drink a lot of water! Water makes you feel full. Say no to a few drinks, and eat a few more veggies than usual. Also, if your schedule is such that you can eat six to seven times a day, do it! It seems counter intuitive, but if you eat small portions often it keeps your metabolism running all day long and you feel more full. Cary an apple in your purse everywhere you go. 

    Finally, always look forward. Don't stress about stuff that's already happened that's in your past and you can't change. 

    And finally, you're gonna look beautiful. I know it. You're gonna be absolutely stunning <3 
    hmg1985drewisesup
  • Thank you all for the heartwarming encouragement! After posting this, I left work and had a great workout, made myself a salad, woke up again to work out before work again today, and I feel really good. I'm not looking at it from a negative place anymore (which I think is exactly what made my motivation nose-dive), but from a place of "I'll look great on my wedding day, but it's about feeling great too."
    AprilH81wanderwoman135
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