Registering and Gifts

No bridal shower, please

Okay, so I need some advice. I don't want to have a bridal shower. I just think the tradition is awkward. Essentially, you're inviting a select few of the "more important" people from your wedding invitees to spend even more money on you by having them not only buy you something that you already picked out, but then they have to give you money at your actual wedding too. Also, my fiance and I have to wait a couple of years after we get married before we get our own home, so I don't want new towels, sheets, plates, etc to be lying around somewhere until then. I'd rather we pick out and buy all our new house stuff together when we're ready.

And this is where our dilemma comes in. Since we don't want a shower, how can we (politely and tactfully), ask for just money or gift cards only at our wedding? It gets tricky because a number of our favorite stores that we would buy stuff for our future home don't actually have wedding registries (e.g. Best Buy, Ikea, etc). Is there anyway to do this without being a tacky jerk? Does it make up for it if we're not having a shower and don't expect two sets of gifts like traditional weddings?

Thanks for your help and advice!

Re: No bridal shower, please

  • Just decline any offers of a shower.  And if anyone asks where you're registered, just tell them that you didn't register because you have everything you need and are saving up to purchase a house together.  People know that cash is an awesome gift.  And if you get any other boxed items, be sure to thank the giver profusely even if it isn't exactly your style.
    weddingcactuschibiyuiSTARMOON44
  • photokittyphotokitty where I want to be
    Moderator Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    mod
    edited October 2014
    We did not register - anywhere. I declined all shower offers.

    Everyone knows cash is always appropriate, appreciated and often preferred - literally everyone on earth knows this. =o) 
    Some people will want to get you a physical gift. And they'll loving select you a random boxed gift - some of our were awesome, some were very sweet of the guests to get us something they thought we'd like (even if we didn't).

    But I have good news :) 
    For our wedding the gifts broke down like this: 75% cash or check, 20% gift cards and 5% physical gifts. 
    If you want money or don't need anything don't register. This is the best way to politely suggest folks give you money. I'm telling you from experience ;-) 
    There is nothing wrong with saying, when asked where you are registered, we are saving up for a house or big screen TV or whatever it is you'd like to purchase. GL!
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

    princessleia22chibiyuisunshinegirl20levioosa
  • esstee33esstee33 Pittsburgh
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    member
    leni21 said:
    Okay, so I need some advice. I don't want to have a bridal shower. I just think the tradition is awkward. Essentially, you're inviting a select few of the "more important" people from your wedding invitees to spend even more money on you by having them not only buy you something that you already picked out, but then they have to give you money at your actual wedding too. Also, my fiance and I have to wait a couple of years after we get married before we get our own home, so I don't want new towels, sheets, plates, etc to be lying around somewhere until then. I'd rather we pick out and buy all our new house stuff together when we're ready.

    And this is where our dilemma comes in. Since we don't want a shower, how can we (politely and tactfully), ask for just money or gift cards only at our wedding? It gets tricky because a number of our favorite stores that we would buy stuff for our future home don't actually have wedding registries (e.g. Best Buy, Ikea, etc). Is there anyway to do this without being a tacky jerk? Does it make up for it if we're not having a shower and don't expect two sets of gifts like traditional weddings?

    Thanks for your help and advice!
    No, sorry, there is no way of asking for money without being a tacky jerk. If you don't register, most people will get the hint that you don't want gifts and will just give you cash. A few people who only like to give boxed gifts will still do so, but most people understand that cash is always a good gift. 
    image
  • beetherybeethery So sayeth the fuckin' Pope.
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    member
    We did not register - anywhere. I declined all shower offers.

    Everyone knows cash is always appropriate, appreciated and often preferred - literally everyone on earth knows this. =o) 
    Some people will want to get you a physical gift. And they'll loving select you a random boxed gift - some of our were awesome, some were very sweet of the guests to get us something they thought we'd like (even if we didn't).

    But I have good news :) 
    For our wedding the gifts broke down like this: 75% cash or check, 20% gift cards and 5% physical gifts. 
    If you want money or don't need anything don't register. This is the best way to politely suggest folks give you money. I'm telling you from experience ;-) 
    There is nothing wrong with saying, when asked where you are registered, we are saving up for a house or big screen TV or whatever it is you'd like to purchase. GL!
    PhotoKitty knows what's up. Go with this. This is what I'm doing as well. Write thank you cards for everything you receive, whether it's cash, gift cards, or boxed gifts.
    --

    I'm the fuck out.

    image
  • You don't ask people to give you money or gift cards. It is rude no matter how you try to spin it. Don't do a registry and people will get the hint. Cash gifts are very common for weddings so people already know that cash is a great gift.
  • edited October 2014
    If you don't want gifts from places that offer registries, I just wouldn't register.

    Please run fast and far if anyone suggests doing cute poems on invitations about needing nothing and wanting money/gift cards.

    I don't want a shower, but I really want to celebrate pre-wedding with friends and family so my family is throwing a bridal luncheon without any kind of registry.
    adk19
  • JennyColadaJennyColada Awesometown, CA
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    member
    We did not register nor did we have any pre-wedding parties (we were having a very intimate wedding anyway) and we only got 1 physical gift (but it was something that we'd mentioned wanting, so it was actually very thoughtful!). We got a few checks and a couple of gift cards.
  • Thank you @photokitty! You just helped me make my decision on all of this! And thank you to all of the rest of you for your input! I asked a similar question on here a few weeks ago.
    photokitty
  • Late response here, but Best Buy does have a registry :)
    Married 9.12.15
    image
  • KatWAGKatWAG Chicago
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    Late response here, but Best Buy does have a registry :)
    Because people are always dying to buy you a $2,000 flat screen TV
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • KatWAG said:

    Late response here, but Best Buy does have a registry :)

    Because people are always dying to buy you a $2,000 flat screen TV
    Hey I didn't say how appropriate it was, I just said they do have registries :) 
    Married 9.12.15
    image
  • JennyColadaJennyColada Awesometown, CA
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    member
    KatWAG said:

    Late response here, but Best Buy does have a registry :)

    Because people are always dying to buy you a $2,000 flat screen TV
    Best Buy sells a lot of home electronics from stand mixers to toaster ovens to washer/driers, some even sell office furniture or other furniture to organize electronics (like entertainment centers).

    It's not all TVs and gaming systems.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards