Best gift you've ever received as a BM?

[Deleted User]

I'd like to buy gifts for my BMs this week, but am completely stumped. I originally thought I'd buy them completely different and individualized gifts (a nice pair of earrings for one, a delicious wine for another, etc...), but it seems to be a custom to buy matching gifts like engraved hand mirrors. Another idea I had was to make each of them some jewelry (not for the wedding). I started making jewelry a year ago, and thought it could be nice to make each of them something.

What are your thoughts on BM gifts? Matching gifts or not? What is the best gift you've ever received as a BM? 

jenijoyk

I don't think I've ever gotten a gift that I was like, "THIS IS THE BEST BM GIFT EVERRR." Its usually matching jewelry for the wedding, a candle, a scarf, a tote bag.... uhhh... I can't even remember anything else.

sarahjane222

It's been my understanding that you should buy for each of your bridesmaids as if it were their birthday.

I've stood in 4 weddings - and for all 4 I received jewelry (3 of those times it was jewelry that was to be worn the day of the wedding). I have not worn any of the jewelry ever again - some of it was just cheap or home-made that I wouldn't normally wear because it's not my taste, and one of the necklaces is huge and too much (gaudy) to wear on a regular day. I plan on buying each of my maids a different piece of jewelry from Kate Spade that I think they'd like to wear in real life (not the day of the wedding).

I also once received a silky cotton short robe with my initial on it from Victoria's Secret. I love it and use it quite often. I would copy that idea if the girl that gave me it wasn't one of my BM's. 

doeydo

crimsonsaffron said:

I'd like to buy gifts for my BMs this week, but am completely stumped. I originally thought I'd buy them completely different and individualized gifts (a nice pair of earrings for one, a delicious wine for another, etc...), but it seems to be a custom to buy matching gifts like engraved hand mirrors. Another idea I had was to make each of them some jewelry (not for the wedding). I started making jewelry a year ago, and thought it could be nice to make each of them something.

What are your thoughts on BM gifts? Matching gifts or not? What is the best gift you've ever received as a BM? 

The bolded sounds best, IMO.

[Deleted User]

doeydo said:

crimsonsaffron said:

I'd like to buy gifts for my BMs this week, but am completely stumped. I originally thought I'd buy them completely different and individualized gifts (a nice pair of earrings for one, a delicious wine for another, etc...), but it seems to be a custom to buy matching gifts like engraved hand mirrors. Another idea I had was to make each of them some jewelry (not for the wedding). I started making jewelry a year ago, and thought it could be nice to make each of them something.

What are your thoughts on BM gifts? Matching gifts or not? What is the best gift you've ever received as a BM? 

The bolded sounds best, IMO.

I think this is what I'll do. It was my first idea, and it's the one that feels right. It'll also be much easier than trying to find something matchy that they'll all like!

novella1186

crimsonsaffron said:

doeydo said:

crimsonsaffron said:

I'd like to buy gifts for my BMs this week, but am completely stumped. I originally thought I'd buy them completely different and individualized gifts (a nice pair of earrings for one, a delicious wine for another, etc...), but it seems to be a custom to buy matching gifts like engraved hand mirrors. Another idea I had was to make each of them some jewelry (not for the wedding). I started making jewelry a year ago, and thought it could be nice to make each of them something.

What are your thoughts on BM gifts? Matching gifts or not? What is the best gift you've ever received as a BM? 

The bolded sounds best, IMO.

I think this is what I'll do. It was my first idea, and it's the one that feels right. It'll also be much easier than trying to find something matchy that they'll all like!

Yep, your first instinct was correct. They'll appreciate it more if it's individually for them, and special to their own interests. 

holyguacamole79

Go with your first idea.  I've never received a good bridesmaid gift. 

cafarrie

The best ever was when I didn't get a gift at all but the bride paid for our dresses, hair, and jewelry.  I'd so much rather not have to pay for the honor of standing next to you at your wedding than get a gift card or bottle of wine....

Edit: She wrote us all really nice thank you notes/letters about how thankful she was for our friendship and support, etc.  

atlastmrsg

First wedding I was in--pearl stud earrings.  I was young, so I felt excited to have "real" earrings.  

After that, just getting the dress and shoes bought for me in lieu of a gift.  While that might not be traditional, I was just happy to not have to spend anything on a bridesmaid dress.  Let's face it, seldom do you actually want to wear bridesmaid dresses again, let alone pay for them.

mhoffman17

I've been in a few weddings and never recieved a personalized gift- and I'm perfectly fine with that! I've gotten jewelry and shoes to be worn at the wedding, matching PJ's, matching clutches for the wedding, had my bridesmaid dress paid for, and had my hair and make up paid for.  I have never and would never expect the bride to buy me a gift for standing up next to her while she says her vows.  I am honored to be there.

With that being said, I DO plan on buying all of my bridesmaids personalized gifts, becuase that is something I love doing. 

Do what you can and within your budget. Buy gifts or pay for something for them.  It really is the thought that counts.

djfivenine

I've been a bridesmaid 5 times, and received jewelry for all 5 of my "gifts."  Some of the jewelry I wear, most of it I don't, but I can tell you from experience, what I value most is the note or card included with the gift.  I keep and cherish those.  So regardless of budget or anything, just make sure to buy or make a really cute card, and write something heartfelt.  That will go so much farther than any gift you could give.

badbnagdway

I have usually received jewelry to be worn at the wedding. Sometimes it is something I would wear again, sometimes not. But I have also received from various brides floral robes (one that is cotton one that is satiny, both of which I still use), tote bags, and a bracelet with my first initial. I really enjoyed all of these gifts, I found the tote bag super super useful for the wedding weekend. One bride also gave me some baking stuff, because she knows I like baking. It was of high quality and I use it at home regularly. That is the only time I think I have received something personalized and different from what other BM's received. 

weddingcactus

I was recently given a beautiful pearl bracelet. I was helping the bride shop for some of her wedding jewelry and admired it in the case. The bride thoughtfully remembered that moment together and generously purchased it for me. I was completely surprised and touched by the gift. She gave her maid of honor a different, but equally beautiful jewelry item (pearl earrings) that suited her more. Both gifts were individual and personal, but also gave us something beautiful to wear in her wedding.  

AJh1021

have you thought about personalized wedding hangers? I just ordered a set for my bridal party. each girl will have her own hanger with her name to hang her dress on. I only put their names, rather than bridesmaid, MOH, etc., so that they can reuse the hanger. just a suggestion

Viczaesar

AJh1021 said:

have you thought about personalized wedding hangers? I just ordered a set for my bridal party. each girl will have her own hanger with her name to hang her dress on. I only put their names, rather than bridesmaid, MOH, etc., so that they can reuse the hanger. just a suggestion

That's an awful gift.

fwtx5815

Viczaesar said:

AJh1021 said:

have you thought about personalized wedding hangers? I just ordered a set for my bridal party. each girl will have her own hanger with her name to hang her dress on. I only put their names, rather than bridesmaid, MOH, etc., so that they can reuse the hanger. just a suggestion

That's an awful gift.


Yes ^
No amount of personalization/bedazzling/whatever else would make me excited to receive a hanger as a gift. Maybe you could throw in something else if you're not already covering their dresses, hair & makeup, etc.

ETA: I should clarify that I'll always graciously accept gifts, but my aim is to give gifts that I, myself, would like to receive.

birdybride2014

I hate hangers that don't match the rest of my hangers that are already in my closet. I would probably feel bad throwing it away, but I wouldn't ever look at it and it would be at an empty end of my closet.

wandajune6

I got my BMs individual gifts- and pretty great ones, if I say so myself!

I got them matching wraps and necklaces to wear during the wedding. I passed them out separately from the gifts so it was clear that they weren't part of their gifts. I also got necklaces that could be worn in different ways so that they could match while showing their personalities.

Everyone seemed pretty thrilled.

dramamonkey

I went personalized but within the same TYPE of gift - I bought each of my BMs a piece of artwork that made me think of them- they all had words/phrases on them. the art work currently hangs in each of their homes. I bought wraps as well (not part of the gift).

hellohkb

I would also go with something you know your BMs will enjoy. Go with what you'd get them for Christmas. I usually get gift cards because they're well appreciated in my circle. I'll probably go with those once it's time to get my BM gifts.

futuremrsog15

I received every kind you can think of as bridesmaid gifts. SO for my bridal party I bought them each a tote bag that matched their personality or favorite hobby. I will buy them each a bottle of wine that I think they will like and a bunch of fund things from Ulta and Bath and Body Works. It's like their birthdays and Christmas combined.

speakeasy14

The best bridesmaid gift I ever received was a heartfelt letter thanking me for our friendship and stating why they chose me.  

A fun gift that was also a half matchy/half sentimental gift: it was a tote bag with my initial on it, a beach towel in my favorite color, sunblock, sunglasses, and flip flops.  All of the girls were beach lovers, so it was a perfect gift.  And we loved the sunglasses so much we wore them the whole day, except for the ceremony. And the groomsmen were jealous that they didn't get sunglasses.

themosthappy91

Viczaesar said:

AJh1021 said:

have you thought about personalized wedding hangers? I just ordered a set for my bridal party. each girl will have her own hanger with her name to hang her dress on. I only put their names, rather than bridesmaid, MOH, etc., so that they can reuse the hanger. just a suggestion

That's an awful gift.

Awww I'm so lame, I was like "That's such a cool idea!"... but I guess I'm a weirdo who gets excited about hangers.  

I think one thing to consider might be if your circle of BMs have done the wedding thing a lot already, and therefore are probably all stocked on the "usual" bridesmaids' gifts (jewelry, robes, totes etc).  This is the first wedding all of my BMs have ever been in so I know they were really psyched to get all the corny standard bridesmaids stuff, but I imagine if your circle is wedding veterans they might have an overabundance of these sorts of things.

lovesclimbing

I have been in two weddings and got a gift at one of them.  It was this brown beaded bracelet that I really like and goes with quite a few things I wear. The bride got bracelets for all of us, but they were all different based on what she thought we'd like. (And only one of the four actually wore hers at the wedding.)

hugsy76103

I was thinking about getting my bridesmaids a massage. I'm still over 8 months away from my wedding so I was thinking about either doing massages/spa as part of bachelorette party festivities, or scheduling time close to the wedding for us to get massages, my treat....what does anyone think of that as a gift or part of a gift?

speakeasy14

misspinxie18 said:

I was thinking about getting my bridesmaids a massage. I'm still over 8 months away from my wedding so I was thinking about either doing massages/spa as part of bachelorette party festivities, or scheduling time close to the wedding for us to get massages, my treat....what does anyone think of that as a gift or part of a gift?

I would love to get a spa day as a gift.  If you're not telling them you're doing it, I would have a few options so anyone with sensitivities can pick something best suited for them.  Or give each girl a giftcard to the spa.

 I did a spa day for my sister's bachelorette and everyone loved it.  The spa we went to had party options which included a swedish massage and then your choice of an extra treatment. So each girl was able to choose what she wanted. 

emanon321

I've only been a bridesmaid once and got a stuffed animal. Yeah... 

It wasn't even soft and cuddly. 

[Deleted User]

speakeasy14 said:

misspinxie18 said:

I was thinking about getting my bridesmaids a massage. I'm still over 8 months away from my wedding so I was thinking about either doing massages/spa as part of bachelorette party festivities, or scheduling time close to the wedding for us to get massages, my treat....what does anyone think of that as a gift or part of a gift?

I would love to get a spa day as a gift.  If you're not telling them you're doing it, I would have a few options so anyone with sensitivities can pick something best suited for them.  Or give each girl a giftcard to the spa.

 I did a spa day for my sister's bachelorette and everyone loved it.  The spa we went to had party options which included a swedish massage and then your choice of an extra treatment. So each girl was able to choose what she wanted. 

I'd love to get a massage as a bridesmaid gift, but only if I could schedule it myself and go whenever I wanted (so, like, a giftcard).  It's just, I might not need a massage when you schedule the outing for us, so it would be "wasted."  Then I wouldn't have massage giftcard waiting in my bag when I'm super stressed and just need a good deep tissue massage.

[Deleted User]

emanon321 said:

I've only been a bridesmaid once and got a stuffed animal. Yeah... 

It wasn't even soft and cuddly. 

I definitely won't do this!

pearlluo

It is quite a good ideal to make jewelry for them,and you should remeber make a personalized and useful one!

Kauris

I've never received a great BM gift, I've received a beer mug with my name on it (shit), jewelry that I had to wear in the wedding which I never wore again (shit), a bag that had my name on it (shit). Don't buy them anything TK sells basically.